LogFAQs > #905256812

Entry 12: Worse Than Devils

As Abom and Cata were walking behind, Dismas was leading the group with his arms crossed behind his head. They slowly made their way down into the tunnels. Maria, walking slightly behind Dismas, was reading through a book. As usual, she wasn't watching where she was going. It seemed her attention was more focused on the information in front of her rather than where her feet were taking her at the time.

"If... we see anything with water," she spoke at last, almost to herself, "I think that's a good time to turn and run away."

"Water?" Cata inquired. "Can't you swim? Or are you just afraid?"

"Well, I'm afraid of this." Maria turned over the book and showed it to him. The picture of a truly terrifying creature. "They called it a Water Horse in these notes. But to me, it looks like something much scarier than a horse."

"And no," she added, "I cannot swim."

Even Dismas had to stop and take a look. The illustrations inside showed a monster with a tank of a body, the ability to move surprisingly fast, to overtake its targets in and around the water, and with crushing powerful jaws with two deadly long spears protruding from below. "... I don't envy the ones who have to face off against that thing."

//###//

At that time, Yoshiki Matsuda was staring down the same creature as it came lunging for him. Yet, while he was looking it dead in the eyes, and read its clear killing intent, his mind was clearly somewhere else. He wasn't in the present. Maybe it was just his life flashing before his eyes. All he saw at that time was his past laid out before him.

Sometimes you win, but sometimes you would lose. Aren't you afraid of losing? If you're afraid of losing, if you can't handle the fact that you'll eventually lose in the end, then this game isn't for you. That was the world Mastuda had grown up in. Has father was the kind of man who was afraid of losing and so he never made any moves.

Matsuda couldn't let it end like that. He couldn't be like that.

From a young age he had admired and looked up to his father, but those feelings grew sour and turned into resentment. How much better might their lives have been if Yoshiki Gorona had given it his all? Rather than camping at the foot of the mountain he could have at least tried to climb it. Would his mother still be alive today? They might have been able to afford better doctors, better treatment for her.

But, no, that was his old way of thinking. His childish way of thinking. As he got older, as he became more independent, as he separated himself from his father, after his mother was gone, Matsuda started to find the world was a lot harder than he ever imagined. Sometimes you win, but sometimes you're going to lose, right?

"Isn't that the way things are supposed to work?" He would lay in bed at night, his chest hurting. Sometimes on the verge of tears. He could barely afford to pay for his own cost of living, and sometimes he couldn't afford it. And when he got behind on payments this would only create new debts and new fees that would push him further and further down. "Aren't I supposed to win sometimes? When does that happen?"

It was when he was at his absolute limit that he decided to try his luck at gambling for the first time. He couldn't bet much, and so he took the longest odds possible. It didn't matter. He already had next to nothing. If he lost anything he might as well lose it all. But if he won...

No, this story doesn't end like that. He lost. He was forced to go back to his father and look for reconciliation. And he found it. Their relationship improved. But he knew the debt he brought with him had created a hardship for his father, and although it was unspoken between them, it was something he had to live with.
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~* Now I only see your dull imposter ~*
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