A unique memorial service set for Garrett Matthias, a five-year-old from central Iowa, is matched only by the one-of-a-kind obituary the preschooler had a hand in authoring.
Garrett died 6 July of a rare cancer that attacked his temporal bone and cranial nerve. His obituary, which is now garnering national attention, includes details of some of the painful treatments he endured.
But its his funny take on life and death thats getting noticed.
His obit notes his likes: playing with his sister, his blue bunny, thrash metal music. And his dislikes: pants, dirty stupid cancer, and the monkey nose that smells like cherry farts.
The obit was compiled by his parents, Emilie and Ryan Matthias, who began asking Garrett questions about adult topics such as funeral and burial preferences when they learned from doctors last month that his cancer was terminal.
His responses, his mother said Friday, made up the obituary.
Asked about death, Garrett responded he was going to be a gorilla and throw poo at Daddy! Asked whether he wanted to be buried or cremated, he replied: I want to be burned (like when Thors mommy died) and made into a tree so I can live in it when Im a gorilla.
And he was specific about the kind of affair he expected his funeral to be.
Funerals are sad, he said. I want five bouncy houses (because Im five), Batman and snow cones.
The obit closes with his last message, See ya later, suckas! The Great Garrett Underpants.
Garretts memorial service on Saturday will take into account many of those last requests, including the five bouncy houses. Besides snow cones, carnival games and fireworks, an archer will shoot a flaming arrow on to a small boat carrying Garretts ashes in a neighbors pond.
The obituary says a private burial of Garretts ashes will be held at a later time, once his parents figure out how the hell to get his ashes made into a tree.
God damn, he was only five and he sounds like the chaddest kid on the playground ---