LogFAQs > #901158316

Sorry if the topic title seemed alarmist or misleading. I'm not in the best or most sober state of mind and not sure how best to get it across.

I know I don't make topics very often these days - mostly I just seem to chip in on whatever full-figured ladies get posted around here. I am how I am, but I'm sorry if that's all that gets seen lately. (I swear I'm more than that.)

It's just that I thought I was over something "overheard" today, but four drinks deep, I realize I'm not. I'm just gonna dump my story and see if it makes sense. Please don't be too harsh.

So long story short, my girlfriend is mixed-race. She wound up commenting on an article - I forget exactly what it was - about a black lady being abused in some fashion. She was wondering if it was the same person, because the pictures referenced were very different.

Her treatment was...for lack of a better word, atrocious. Everything from "pay me for your own research work" to accusations of being a "white sympathizer", to not being "black enough" to have a valid opinion...it got worse from there. When I heard the extent to which this discussion turned, I was incensed.

I'm starting to learn that folks that are mixed, in this case black/white, have it especially rough. Not black enough for black bigots, not white enough for white bigots, and $DEITY help their parents or anyone wanting to date them and "pollute the gene pool" further. I've been tracking some of the reactions to Donald Glover lately, and I'm appalled.

I can't stand up for her against POC (and make a difference/change minds), because to that mentality I'm the problem because I'm white. I just don't know how to show support and encourage people to back off without alienating anyone. I've seen her fight her own battles - respectably so - to no avail. Colorism cuts both ways.

I eventually told her it may be best to just cut herself off from that toxicity. I know it's her decision, but what am I supposed to do? I feel kinda helpless, and more than a little indignant. I want to confront these people next time I see them in person, and tell them to back off, but...I have a feeling I know how it will end, and what cards will get pulled and played.

How do I help, not harm? Everything that's right in me tells me to defend my girlfriend's honor, but how do I not come off as "the enemy"?
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~Drewnami: The Drew abides.~
Gonads are useful for their purpose, but they are no substitute for brains. -Paul Harvey