clearly you don't know why I'm chasing it because it would heal me espically if it came from someone I loved or cared about .
That's not how it works. It's not a magic spell, that's going to solve all your problems. If you go into a relationship without having your shit together and expecting to be "healed", it's going to be a disaster.
Don't listen to this guy. A relationship can definitely lift your spirits and get you to live life to the fullest instead of moping in your room, feeling hopeless every day.
If you're depressed and enter a relationship to cope, if it ends (which if you're clingy and codependent, not contributing anything to the relationship, it will), the anxiety will push you over the edge. This is the classic road from regular depression to suicidal depression.