LogFAQs > #977936028

In ways I understand your last post. It's a underlying anger that can eat at you. I was in shock the first month and lets be honest I was 100% alone for the first time in my life. There were always friends to comfort me. Unlike you I did not get the you are doing fine from people. Her daughter said you did the best you could. I could never get a bead on what she meant. One hand was she saying I didn't do enough or was she saying it was inevitable. That doubt has eat at me since Did I really do enough? I don't know. Lets also know I really didn't grieve. I went from taking care of her hoping she might live another year to shock over her passing to preparing her funeral arrangment then got ill and could no longer drive to take care of my self. It's almost 2 years on and I'm getting worse not better.

There is a chance for a little brightness. One of those friends made contact today. Although it was just more than seasons greetings it's the first time we have talked in 3 years. It's nice to know I'm still in their thoughts. They know some of the early events but not all.