LogFAQs > #977393626

Jabodie posted...

These posts have been making me look at my shared space in a different way. I don't really have much to say in response OP. Your posts touch on what I know are some of my deepest fears, but the focus on the good memories and the transition from a shared life is also hopeful.

Like I said, I don't have much to contribute, but these topics are valuable to me.

I'm glad that the topic is valuable to more people than just myself, lol. Right now the biggest thing I'm learning is that grief takes MANY different forms and that it is important to be easy on yourself.

I've been fortunate in the fact I did a lot of work to be in a place where my grief doesn't usually take on a destructive element. I work through a lot of it in my time at the gym for example. Music has been a tremendous outlet, as well as my Journaling.

On occasion I do read back my old entries and am quite proud of where I am now. I speak with my employees and colleagues about what happened. The week before my wife passed I made an e-mail to send right after it happened to let everyone in the organization know. I've worked there for 4 and a half years now and I never took more than a few days off. Being gone seemingly out of nowhere for 2 weeks would have been concerning, and some people already knew. I wanted to control the narrative.

So now people I don't see often will ask me about it and I can laugh about it and joke, and be serious and provide some insight.

It's hard for me to accept praise for "how I'm doing" at times. I know that runs counter to what I just said, but it is strange to me when people tell me how proud they are of how open I have been, how inspirational I am, all that. I'm not sure why that bothers me. It doesn't make me mad or anything it's just kinda... I dunno, just different I guess.