LogFAQs > #976980307

TuxedoCyan posted...

Well I don't want to sound like everything is perfectly fine. I do have much of the same issues as you. I just choose to avoid situations that cause me to spiral into that abyss. For me, as long as I stay totally anti-social and never go out with family, I never get negative thoughts. Anytime I try to go out and be around people, that is when I just go into full anxiety and depression mode. So the key for me is to just not try anymore. I know it's wrong but it's the only way I can deal.

I recently went to my brothers wedding and had a major anxiety meltdown once I got home and I basically shut myself in my room for 3 days and barely ate or drink water because It was just that overwhelming to me. Before that I haven't been to any kind of social gathering in many years.

I was also teased quite a bit my aunts about "where's your gf?" "I thought you were the one getting married, not your little brother!" "When's your wedding?" "You're a handsome man! Any girl would be happy to be with you!" which were annoying to say the least.

I see. We're more similar than it originally sounded. Though, I used to be fine with being alone. Until I turned 30/31. That's when I started to realize how far behind everyone I was, and it became a trigger for me to see others succeed. Doesn't really matter where, irl, on here, on TV/movies, in games, magazines, books, whatever.

The envy I feel for others has eaten away at me for years, and I hate it. I hate that I let myself become this way.