LogFAQs > #976306161

Do Eet! Do Eet Now!
The Running Man
Jorgen von Strangle
Pumping Iron
"I'll be Back": I have mixed feelings about this line. On the one hand, it makes no sense for the Terminator to say it in T1. In every other scene, he always uses the minimum words possible, and simply pursues his objective as efficiently and emotionlessly as possible. Demanding to see Sarah Connor, leaving when he's refused, and smashing into the police station with his car makes complete sense. But there is no reason for him to inform the cop that he'll be back. On the other hand, it's super cool and badass and I love it. On the third hand, this line ruined Arnold. How many of his movies have a variation of this line them? There just comes a point in his career where he's obligated to say the line in every film, like, get it out of the way, please, so we can move on. If it was just restricted to Terminator, I would be fine with it, but it's in like ten more films, and the only time it was ever clever was in Running Man, when the TV host laughs at him and promises "only in reruns." The worst one ever is in Dark Fate, where Arnold tells his family that he has to go fight time traveling robots again, that they need to leave and disappear for their own safety, and sadly whispers "I won't be back." It's so ****ing distracting and ruins the scene. I don't know where I want to place this quote as a result.
Arnold, Wilt Chamberlain, and Andre the Giant Photo
Hercules in New York
Arnold Stogie Rant
Miles Dyson
Terminator Fatalities
Dwayne Johnson: I distinctly remember being 15, and seeing Dwayne Johnson in a movie, and Arnold shows up for a cameo, telling him "good luck." I don't remember what movie it was, or what the context of the cameo was, but it was obviously Arnold joking that Dwayne Johnson wants to be the new Arnold. It was never going to happen. He has the body, he has the unique look, but he isn't a cartoon character, and he doesn't have Arnold's charisma. Arnold has a lot of really genuine charisma to him, it's as simple as that. He's ****ing weird, but he is a likeable man. Dwayne Johnson is PRETTY likeable. He's pretty good. But he's not on Arnold's level. And in all seirousness, Arnold is in some of the best movies ever made. What's Dwayne Johnson's best film? What are the definitive Rockcore movies? Fast and Furious, where he's a side character? Moana? ****ing Jumanji? This isn't really his fault, it's not like Arnold writes his own scripts, but Arnold just had the fortune of having six REALLY amazing movies, whereas Dwayne Johnson's filmography is much lamer. I'll say this, though: nothing Dwayne Johnson's done is as bad as Arnold's worst. He's a much more even actor, never reaching Arnold's highs or Arnold's lows, and I guess I can respect that he technically has a higher average movie quality, but even when I was 15, I knew this guy was not going to be the next Arnold. It's better to have one good movie and nine crap movies than ten forgettable-but-okay movies. And like, look, I said earlier that Arnold and Stallone being in a movie together in 2013 is pathetic, because it is. But if you're going to have a guy who is explicitly trying to replicate Arnold's career, then having him and Arnold team up in a movie together, where like I don't know, Arnold is the old guy in charge of some commando squad, and this hot new talent joins whom he can't stand, and they have to work together as Old and New Giant Muscle Guys, that would make sense. But that movie was never made, and never will be, unless AI technology reaches the point where I can put that prompt into the internet and get a full movie out of it. My only other thing to say about Dwayne Johnson was that when I was 21, I was playing TF2, and I was chatting while playing. A guy on my team said "I live in Alaska, ask me anything," so I said "what's the Rock's real name?", and he spent the next fifteen minutes groaning and agonizing as he played, unable to remember it and complaining that he should know this.
T2: The Arcade Game

See You At Da Party, Richtah
Crystal Beef Arnold Mammoth
Governorship of California
Arnold's Wikipedia Page
Joseph Baena
Arnold Pipe
Planet Hollywood
Conan the Destroyer

Get Out
The 6th Day
President Schwarzenegger (The Simpsons Movie)
ERB: Terminator vs Robocop
Terminator vs Jesus
Terminator 2 (NES)
Midwich Elementary School (Silent Hill)
EM-1 Railgun (Eraser)
Bloody Brad (Metal Gear)
Cottage Cheese

I'm Going to Kill You Last
Schwarzenegger-Stallone Rivalry
Red Heat
Dolph Lundgren
Dutch (Aliens vs Predator Arcade Game)
Last Action Hero
End of Days: In this movie, Arnold's name is Jericho Cane. I love movie names. No one is ever Adrian Jones or Robert Smith. Imagine if you knew someone named Jericho Cane, you would give him **** nonstop for that. Anyway, this is Arnold's second foray in the little-remembered genre of action-horror, and his first where he's not the villain. This movie is about how Satan blesses a woman to conceive the Antichrist, and Satanists and the Pope's forces battle over the fate of the world. Arnold has the most generic backstory of all time, being an ex-cop who quit the force after his family died, and he has to protect the woman from Satan, who in this movie, is not like, like, you probably imagine Satan as following rules, right? He has to slowly corrupt the innocent, etc. No. He just possesses an investment banker, rapes his wife, then blows up a restaurant with magic for no reason at all. This is the bluntest, stupidest version of Satan I can think of in any movie, and his goal is to rape the woman so she'll bear his son. The day is saved not thanks to Arnold, but because Satan possesses Arnold, and Arnold impales himself on a sword just before he rapes the woman. According to Wikipedia, there's an alternate ending where God heals Arnold, who then gets together with the girl, but whatever. Okay, here's the problem. You cannot have a serious film where the main character needs to be like a cop doubting his faith who slowly comes to believe in something again, starring Arnold. He is too stupid. I don't mean that he's stupid in terms of intelligence, I'm sure he's quite smart, he has a degree in... business administration and marketing? Well, I'm sure he's not that dumb. But he cannot be your main character in a semi-serious horror film. I wonder what this movie would be like with like, I don't know, Tom Cruise or something, and I imagine it would be noticeably better. This is a rare time when Arnold is bringing the movie down, you know? It's still not a TERRIBLE film, but the absurdity of what happens with Arnold, and how blunt and dumb Satan behaves, prevents it from reaching any kind of real quality.
The Last Stand (2013)
Predator (NES)
Termination: Salvation
Japanese Arnold Commercial
Mortal Kombat
Kindergarten Cop
Come with Me if You Want to Lift Shirt
Twins
The Expendables 1
Escape Plan
The New Celebrity Apprentice
Austrian Death Machine