LogFAQs > #976306156

Come With Me If You Want To Live
Arnold's Accent
Muscleboundness
T-1000
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Conan the Barbarian (Film)
Predator
Total Recall
Ahnald Voice
"Considah Dat a Divorce": I think this is not only the definitive Arnold one-liner, but it might be the definitive one-liner of all time. The only other one I can think of is in that one garbage Bond movie, where Bond has sex with a woman, points a gun at her, she says "you can't kill me, you'd miss me," and then he shoots her and says to her corpse "I never miss." I think what makes this one memorable is two things: first, it's probably the cleverest of all Arnold one-liners. STEEK AROUND and LET OFF SOME STEAM are great and all, but the context of your wife trying to murder you and then reminding you that you're married really helps elevate this line to the next level. Second, I think this is the only one-liner Arnold ever uses to kill a woman, right? Does Arnold ever kill another woman in any other movie? I cannot think of any, except in Terminator 1 when he kills the other Sarah Connors and her best friend. I'm talking about Arnold killing a woman who's fighting him, does he ever do that in a single other film? The Terminatrix doesn't count, because she's already reduced to a metal skeleton when they explode. Like, action movies shy away from having their muscular giant guys beat up women, but this movie goes out of its way to paint his wife as the most unpleasant and evil woman ever, and one who can hold her own in a fight, and even then, imagine if Arnold just murdered her and said nothing. Like, imagine her begging for her life, and he just shoots her without a word. He NEEDS to say a witty one-liner so that he won't seem like a horrible person. Total Recall is definitely the most cartoony of Arnold's good movies, and this line is part of that. Like, this line is WAY more memorable than Arnold using a giant drill to kill a guy while screaming "SCREW YOUUUUUUUUUU," which happens like twenty minutes later, and there's a damn good reason for that.
The Terminator (Film)
Commando: I think it will be an uncontroversial statement to say that this is the purest Arnold movie. When I think of Arnold, I think of a big muscular man who can't act, standing in a field and firing a gun at normal people while never getting hit, punching another big guy, and saying witty things. This is the movie that is the most *that,* without having any additional elements to muddle things. There's no complicated sci-fi element, there's no Nietzchian philosophy, there's no Most Dangerous Game ripoff, it's just 91 minutes of Arnold doing action things, saying witty things, and occasional exposition. But those other elements, I hate to say it, make their movies better than Commando. This is why Commando, to me, is definitely the #6 Arnold movie. It's the lowest member of the Greater Arnoldcore filmography, the gatekeeper between its level and what comes below. I could talk forever about all of the great moments in this movie ("I lied," "Don't wake up my friend; he's dead tired," "Let off some steam, Bennet"), or how amazing it is that the plot is just a guy kidnaps Arnold's daughter and tells him to assassinate his rival, and Arnold does not for one second even consider obeying and instead just immediately starts murdering everyone, but I think I want to highlight the single moment I've thought about the most. In the first minute of the movie, you see how much Arnold loves his daughter, and they're doing idyllic stuff in the forest and all of that, and there's this one shot where they're feeding a deer. I cannot tell if that's an audience wink or not. It's just so absurd, so outrageously stupid, and I can't tell if the director geuninely thought "I need to establish that Arnold loves his daughter so his motivations later make sense," or if he thought "lol this is to signal to the audience that I know all of this is stupid." I'll probably never know the answer to that. "I lied" is less clever than throwing him off a cliff, then reassuring the girl that "I let him go."

Hasta La Vista, Baby
Shotgun Flip Reload: It's so ****ing cool. I don't care about it making no sense, this to me is like when Legolas jumps onto that horse in the second movie by grabbing its neck and flipping around its entire body, when he could have easily just jumped onto it. Spinning makes everything cooler except the final fight scene in Revenge of the Sith, but what really elevates the shotgun flip reload to the next level is that Arnold actually has a reason to do it (using his other hand to drive a motorcycle), which means that unlike Legolas, who's just an anime character, Arnold is still a ruthless machine that does not care about frills, but instead just achieves his goals in the most efficient method possible. Thank God he landed in front of a biker bar and was able to steal a leather jacket and sunglasses, right? Imagine if he'd landed in front of an office and was dressed like an officer worker the entire film.
Conan the Barbarian (Character)
Tracking Device Removal Scene (Total Recall)
Jackie Chan: I can't think of any Jackie Chan movies I really like, but I've always thought of him as a pretty okay actor. None of his movies knock your socks off like Terminator 2, but they're always okay. I will say that in terms of actual talent, Jackie Chan completely blows Arnold out of the water. Jackie Chan's wacky antics when fighting are much more entertaining than Arnold's fistfights or gunfights. He's also a way better actor, in that he can display emotions other than silent anger. But where Jackie Chan has genuine talent, Arnold has an insane body and a way sillier accent. In the modern day, if you were trying to make a real action movie, Jackie Chan would be a way better option than Arnold. But in the world of 80s action films, where things are meant to be slightly stupid, Arnold is unbeatable. No human being can match him. You need someone who will try to act seriously, but is just so bad of an actor that he comes across as comical, but still seems like he could genuinely beat you up, and Arnold is the guy. As an actor, Jackie Chan isn't good enough to be notable, but isn't bad enough to be funny. He has to be in actual comedies to be funny, and to his credit, his comedies are WAY better than Arnold's. Like, to be clear, Jackie Chan still has some of what makes Arnold Arnold, he still has the energy, and he's still a weird foreign man, but he's not as energetic or as weird and as foreign. And it's especially weird, because you'd logically assume that a Chinese man is more foreign to Americans than an Austrian man, but like I said earlier, Arnold is foreign to all countries, he's equally insane to a German or Austrian person. So, to be clear: Jackie Chan is the true lesser Arnold, not Dwayne Johnson. And like with the Arnold x Dwayne Johnson movie we never got, it's a shame we never got an Arnold x Jackie Chan movie. I'm imagining like they're spies from opposite countries who're both after some terrorist, and they mistake the other for being on the terrorist's side, and before they inevitably learn the truth, they have a fight scene of Arnold's blunt stupidity vs Jackie Chan's running around and using the environment. Ah well, Jackie Chan can at least say that he never sank to complete garbage levels like Arnold did.
Austria (Nation)
"Get to da Choppa!"
Taking to the Air (Sega CD)
Rainier Wolfcastle
7-time Mr. Olympia Winner