LogFAQs > #975436068

LELuMADuRUSTLED posted...

Nope. This is one part there's no need to speculate about, this woman said in the facebook post that he was her best friend prior to their romantic relationship.

That's a largely empty statement, given how common it is for people to say that about their partners in any situation where they knew each other before dating, regardless of the circumstances in which they met.

LELuMADuRUSTLED posted...

Your Honor -- speculation.

It's significantly more likely that his feelings affected his professional conduct than that he was able to completely compartmentalize them and act impartially. That's just the nature of being human. The extent is uncertain, and he may not even have been conscious of it, but it's ferociously unlikely that they had no effect at all.

LELuMADuRUSTLED posted...

Again, this goes for every relationship.

It does, and maintaining a healthy relationship inextricably entails making sure all involved parties are there by choice. This does mean that a whole lot of people don't have very healthy relationships, but I'm perfectly happy with that assessment. People don't have the best understanding of consent.

LELuMADuRUSTLED posted...

Actually, anyone married with children is subject to this.

Kids do throw a wrench into the idea of leaving, but again, that's not insurmountable. Every couple should plan for what happens if they break up before having kids. Laying out that plan ensures they're both on the same page and that each are okay with what the other will do in that scenario, meaning neither partner can use their plan to manipulate the other. If one of them later goes back on the plan for the sake of leveraging the kids to keep the other in the relationship, then that person is abusing the power imbalance and is a scumbag. If they can't reach a compromise that they're both comfortable with, they shouldn't have kids.

I've spelled all of this out. In every relationship, there are three options: Fix the imbalance to prevent it from causing problems, end the relationship before the imbalance causes problems, or you're an abusive scumbag for exploiting the imbalance despite the problems it's causing for your partner. Those are the only possibilities. If every relationship you know has significant imbalances that haven't been corrected (or that nobody's working on correcting, because there is a spectrum between options 1 and 2), congratulations, everyone you know is an abusive scumbag that doesn't value their partner's ability to consent to the relationship.

LELuMADuRUSTLED posted...

This once again undermines your whole thesis. The woman literally said in her FB post that she had to choose between her hs boyfriend and this counselor. No was unequivocally an option.

And did she make that decision as a competent adult with sufficient life experience to make an informed decision between those two options, or as a high school student whose view of the world was influenced by a counsellor that wanted to marry her?

The crux of statutory rape laws is that minors - especially minors interacting with somebody in a position of authority - don't sufficiently understand when "no" is the answer they actually want to give to be able to say "yes." "No" was an option on paper, certainly, but the circumstances as presented cast significant doubt on her competence to recognize that and fully consider the significance of the decision.

LELuMADuRUSTLED posted...

"seems at first glance" isn't really a solid foundation for trying to smear a man, ruin his career, and destroy his projects.

"Smear a man, ruin his career, and destroy his projects" is a rather melodramatic way to interpret "hey there's an apparent conflict of interest here, can you elaborate on it?". That's not a witch hunt, that's just basic accountability for the choices he's made. Unless, of course, you can actually point out where I suggested that he should be ruined, but that seems unlikely given that I never said anything of the sort. Is there a reason you're being so defensive as to make up strawmen to burn?