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TopicAnagram Ranks Anything Legend of Zelda-related with Full Write-Ups (spoilers)
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08/03/23 11:32:17 AM
#257:


I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
Fierce Deity Link
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Paraglider
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Ocarina (Instrument)
Midna
Legend of Zelda (Theme)
Link (GameFAQs)
Gerudo Valley (Theme)

Good!
Cadence of Hyrule
Master Sword
Princess Zelda (Spirit Tracks)
Koji Kondo
ReDead: As far as I'm concerned, the only true ReDeads are the OoT/MM ones. They're so disgusting and gross and malformed, and the crappiness of early 3D graphics, the fact that only encounter them in shadowy locations, and the fact that the camera is always far away helps disguise how crap they really look. Even the 3DS versions are a mistake, they give them bright masks and make their bodies a light color, and the better graphics makes it easy to see how laughable they are. The African(?) zombies WW uses, and the stupid puddle monster in TFH don't even count, as far as I'm concerned. Those OoT ReDeads are, to me, the definitive "horror thing in a non-horror game." As a ten-year-old, I ran past those things in Castle Town as fast as I could. The horrible screams they make, the fact that there's no real way to counter them (like putting your shield up or something), their slow zombie movements, and the fact that they crawl onto your back and make munching noises all combine to make easily the most memorable monster in the game. I'm serious, I remember the Castle Town ReDeads better than some actual games I've played to completion. It's just so jarring. Up until this point, you've just been Kid Link running around having adventures, like sure, Ganondorf beat you up, but that's about it. Then you're an adult, the city is destroyed, the sky is black, and screaming zombies are trying to hump you. It's such a disturbing turn, and so, so memorable.
Triforce
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Gerudo Outfit (BotW)
Swordless Link Trick (OoT)
Cia
The Missing Link
Goron
Hookshot
Champion's Tunic (BotW)
Hearts
Rupees
Song of Storms
CD-I Cutscenes
Legend of Zelda (Name)
Great Fairies
The Vision in Lanayru Spring
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Japanese Link to the Past commercial
Brawl in the Family
Sheik: I've already talked about Sheik at length, so I'll instead just talk about two other aspects of Sheik I haven't mentioned yet. The first is how naturally the idea of ninjas fits into this world. Until OoT, Zelda had zero ninjas. Then suddenly it's Ninja o'clock. Whenever something unexplained happens? Ninjas. Ancient temple? Ninjas. Someone needs to teach Link something? Ninjas. Who survived the apocalypse the best, and are ready to assist Link? Ninjas. Someone needs to invent a smartphone using medieval technology? Ancient ninja science. Like, pre-OoT, Impa was just an old lady who tells you how to save Zelda. She went back to being an ugly fat woman one time in OoX, and then she became a sexy ninja babe for all subsequent appearances (and I'm counting BotW, because I know she's a ninja babe in the second Hyrule Warriors). I love how Japan can make a giant European fantasy land, and then just casually insert ninjas into things. Looking at you, FFVII. But speaking of FFVII, I was discussing this with my friends about a year ago, and we came to the conclusion that the two biggest plot twists in video games are Aerith dying and Zelda is Sheik. We couldn't think of a single other twist with that level of fame, and they're from within the same two year span. It's actually interesting, now that I think about it, because Zelda's next appearance is in WW, isn't it? And she also has another disguise in that game. So, you'd think that Zelda's shtick would be that she disguises herself a lot... but no, it only happens twice. And both times, the second she drops the disguise, she gets immediately kidnapped by Ganondorf.

Hey, Listen!
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Z3R
Bongo Bongo
Anju/Kafei Quest
Magnet Gloves
Gold NES Cartridges
BotW Cooking Jingle
Hestu's Gift
Twinrova
Stealing from the LA Shop
Stone Tower Temple
Linkle
Bombos Medallion
His Name is Zelda
Second Quest
Great Bay Temple
Heroic Fantasy
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Link, the Silent Protagonist
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages
Groose
Fighter Choices (Smash)
Wallmaster: There are multiple games where I'd rather be killed than be captured by a Wallmaster. Wallmasters are the #1 enemy I'm careful around in these games. Nothing is more annoying than being caught by one and losing your progress, even if in reality it only takes like 90 seconds to get back to where you were. Again, also, a giant floating hand is just a cool fantasy monster to deal with. This is what helps set LoZ apart from a more generic fantasy setting, where you'd just fight goblins or whatever. It's the weirdness. LoZ always looks like a generic fantasy land, and then you get a couple of unexplained weird things thrown in, which is good.


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Started: July 6, 2005
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