LogFAQs > #969599142

Payzmaykr posted...

Youre being held a hostage and youre doing the only thing you can do to save yourself. This isnt stabbing anyone in the back. This isnt running away. This isnt abandoning anyone. This is about getting out of an abusive, cyclic sort of relationship. You cant do it all. A relationship is a two-way thing, and if one party takes and never gives, then things arent going to work.

The secrecy alone seems like a red flag to me. You shouldnt have to be secretly married or hide from her ex.

thanks, that's exactly how i feel, but she guilt trips me and says i'm "abandoning [my] family" and "discarding" her, and i fall into a cycle of guilt.
and regarding the secrecy, i confronted her about how fucked up it was to be married to someone who's having 1) an ex-boyfriend who thinks they're still together pay for her BMW and 2) an ex-husband deployed in the army in Iraq convinced they're going to get back together, and her response is "i did what i had to for my children"