LogFAQs > #966587011

Back in November, we had a small Thanksgiving party where many new coworkers were meeting each other for the first time. One of our coworkers is Jewish (who is actually super annoying but thats a story for another time, and its not because shes Jewish), and she mentioned this party was happening right around the beginning of Hanukkah and asked us if wed be interesting in doing a brief menorah lighting ceremony. We all agreed.

Come the day of the party, the menorah is already lit, and another coworker shows up very late and very drunk. Well call him Jake (aint never met a cool Jake in my life). The Jewish coworker had went outside for a private conversation and while she was gone, Jake began making a series of several antisemitic jokes. Starting with Whats this thing called? (referring to the menorah) A Krav Maga? escalating to Isnt this like, cultural appropriation, forcing this on us? and culminating in I dont like Judaism or Jewish people. He was also rude an aggressive to our only Black woman coworker at the party, repeatedly insulting a gift she had bought for the hosts house (which was triggered by me asking about said gift because I thought it was interesting, so I regret that). The host of the party directly confronted him about this, so he quickly finished his beer and left the party.

The next day I sent him a message saying if I sent an invite out to the group chat that it didnt include him, because he had made several people very uncomfortable and I didnt want to expose them to his outlook. He actually offered what seemed like a genuine and well-thought out apology, which in retrospect seems a little too perfect. He wanted to work things out and wanted to find time for us to meet. I was more than willing, because as I told him, I value counsel culture over cancel culture. And more importantly, the victim of his jokes was willing to hear him out if his apology was sincere. We were in communication for less than a week before things took a 180 out of nowhere and he suddenly ghosted me (and the party host who he was working things out with also) and abandoned both our work group chats. Due to the nature of my work, I dont actually ever see or interact with him outside of gatherings.

I was willing to let that be the end of things, as he chose to self-exile himself and whatever, thats his choice. But recently Ive been hearing thats hes blaming *me* for his exclusion and telling people that what he did was not that bad undermining his whole initial apology. He also refuses to go to mandated work meetings that everyone must attend. All of this has left a bad taste in my mouth and Im considering reporting his actions to the higher ups, who are unaware of the situation.

On the one hand, it will create a written chain of communication about this incident, but on the other hand I know things arent likely to get solved. Is it worth escalating this situation, or am I overreacting? What do you think? Let me know in the comments. Be sure to subscribe, hit the like, ring the bell. Youre the best, youre the best!