LogFAQs > #964346290

I am scared less of death than I am of aging, of being less, of decaying and diminishing. I frequently have thoughts that I would rather go out early, even if I have to make that happen, than to lose my physical ability and my mental wherewithal. I already know I'm not the person I was 20 years ago cognitively, and I started wearing glasses a couple years ago and it's already getting really hard to operate without them. I look good, age-wise, and I feel good when we're ignoring my depression (which is its own beast,) but the thought of being an invalid scares the shit out of me.

Good job losing the 30 pounds (assuming you're not anorexic, which I somehow doubt.) Use that as something to look at and think about how you're establishing forward momentum in making the kinds of changes you want and need, even if you're struggling elsewhere. Hopefully you'll have the strength to change what you can change and serenity for the things you can't, yadda yadda.