LogFAQs > #964198564

KogaSteelfang posted...

I suppose so. I guess my mindset is that I gave it to help them out, and if he used it to help catch up his bills then it's still helping him.

Idk, I understand I'm naive and easily taken advantage of though. He's just never been the one doing it before now so maybe I'm just not seeing it the same way.

There's plenty of reason for you to be okay with him keeping it, but he should still have offered to return it once he got the car, or at least asked if you minded if he spent it on other bills.

Ultimately, though, he needs to take back his finances and get rid of her. 100%.

KogaSteelfang posted...

I guess it's the fact that I already assumed I'd never get it back that makes it easier to accept(aside from the fact that I've basically been raised to be taken advantage of). I just had no idea how badly she's mismanaged things. That was an eye opener, so after this it's no more money.

That's fair. As easy as it is to fixate on it and say "you should have done it this way," if you don't mind losing the money, it's not the end of the world that you did. Rather than regretting it, you can (and have) recognize your mistake and what it means for your financial relationship with your brother moving forward. That's good enough.

KogaSteelfang posted...

I can now refuse due to not currently working.

You can always refuse. It's your money. Him being your brother doesn't entitle him to any of it. Not working just gives you a convenient excuse to avoid having to outright say "I don't want to give you money to help pay for your parasitic wife."