Make plans to do something, and then FOLLOW THROUGH with it. It sounds like you're going through a shitty time right now but remember life does not stop you have to remain somewhat active. It will help you from dwelling on whatever problems you're having. You just gotta keep plowing forward my man. You got this.
It's really hard. About a year ago it would be no problem, but now it's the hardest thing ever. IM the problem man. Some switch went off in my mind that has me fucked up. At this very moment I'm looking at my gf sleeping next to me and it pisses me off she has to wake up in the morning tomorrow to work and I'm just here. Man, I need to let some anger out sometimes, but the only way I know how is by hitting something...just letting it out and when there's nothing I'll just punch my face. I know that sounds crazy, but it's just a punch or two to let that shit out. Nothing serious.
Another thing that has me fucked up is I can't get up in the mornings. I feel nauseous and have the biggest feeling of regret when I do. Being that way has lead me to search for evening or overnight work.
are you seeing a therapist? If not do that.
I don't want to worry anyone. I can carry the burden. I'm aware my actions aren't normal, I'm aware of my problems, etc. I don't want to worry my parents, family, gf having them think something is seriously wrong with me. I'll never in my life commit suicide or serious self harm. I feel like I have too much pride to talk to a therapist. I wouldn't even know how it works, I'm broke, no insurance, etc.
I just think you might have some kind of chemical imbalance if you're getting irrationally angry all the time and have to hit yourself to calm yourself down. It might be good for you, what do you got to lose at this point? ---
