LogFAQs > #881330040

Okay, so my wife and I are camping at a park this weekend. I've had beer and junky food. Tonight I woke up (Its almost 2:30AM right now) in pain and thought I'd have to poop.

So I got out of the tent and started briefly toward the bathrooms. I knew I wouldn't make it. I started toward the forest (we're a campsite right next to woods) and I didn't make that. I got to the edge of the woods and my body hit critical mass. I pulled down my pants and shit right there, then fell over on the ground (not into the shit, thankfully) in pain. I then got up and wandered into the woods, where I unleashed a brown waterfall.

My first poo on the edge of the woods was a massive lump of mostly solid, that fell into a shape not unlike a Coke can that's been smooshed in a little, but larger. This second one was a river of aggression that blasted its way through my ass. Instead of slowly carving over millions of years, it tried forming a canyon tonight. I used a stick to launch all of that mess deeper into the woods. But I'm worried it'll smell tomorrow.

I don't think I can tell anyone about this, not under my actual name. But I have to tell someone. I made my way to the bathrooms and now I'm letting fall whatever else may before I go clean myself up and head back to bed. My wife just texted asking if I'm okay. I think I'll just say, yeah.