LogFAQs > #980074820

ParanoidObsessive posted...

If two people have radically different ideas of what they want a relationship to be, it's much better to try and discuss that in advance rather than just wait until it turns into a huge fight/breakup over it.

Pretty much. You don't necessarily have to air everything on the first date or two (especially if you're casually dating a couple different people and there hasn't been any pretense of forming an actual long-term relationship yet), but sitting on potential dealbreakers because you're worried about how a person will react just pushes that reaction further down the road and makes the ensuing breakup rougher. If there's something fundamentally incompatible, it's better to break up early and move on to somebody else than delay the inevitable.

Jen0125 posted...

This s*** is why I don't get my ex. I spent 6 years telling him I didn't want kids. From the day we met. Then we broke up mainly due to his displeasure because he wants kids. Why did you waste so much of your prime parenting years??? Make sense.

I expect it was the same reason it's so hard to get a tubal: The idea that even if a younger woman insists that she doesn't want kids, she'll likely change her mind later in life. It doesn't make sense, per se, but it's likely a product of the broader culture of assumptions around women wanting kids. He just failed to challenge those assumptions.