LogFAQs > #979871261

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(NPC) 35. Glenn Lodbrok, aka certainly Cloud's Dad

Look at this shitty design. What a punchable face. I had no idea who this guy was when he first showed up, but as soon as he did I said, "oh, that's boring."

That being said... there was a hot minute there where I thought this was actually going to build to something. First of all: he just looks like Cloud, and I've played enough JRPG games to smell a "surprise dad" twist a mile away. So I was expecting a grand reveal of some kind. Then, I really started going off the deep end, thinking about this this could actually just be an old Cloud from an alternate dimension with a new name. Real bonkers stuff.

I eventually beat the game, and it turns out this was Sephiroth the whole time? Trying to distract Rufus from him by making him start a proxy war with Wutai? And Glenn Lodbrok actually isn't an original character for this game but one of the main characters in "The First Soldier"? I raised my fists to the sky and screamed "NOMURRAAAAAAAAAA!" because he had done it again. He'd made a shitty mobile game relevant.

Edit: Because Mac requested it, I think Lodbrok deserves to be this high largely due to the mystery around him in the early goings. He also is tied closely to Rufus, who is an MVP in this game. Scotch and Kotch are the hypemen of the century, but I'd be hard pressed to say they deserve to be any higher.

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34 . Fran, Yorda and Naomi (Not Pictured), aka Hojo's Arm Candy
Before this game came out, there were three images from the original that everyone needed to see: 1) Barret in a sailor suit, 2)Red XIII walking like a person, and 3) Hojo having girls flock around him in Costa Del Sol. Of course, SE delivers on all three in spades. They maybe botched Midgar zolom and debatably the ending, but hell, we got Hojo's babes so that's really all that matters.

The girls are given a bit of a backstory and names, which is nice. They don't actually like Hojo, naturally, but are there entertaining him for the sake of the town. After the beach episode is over (and let's get it straight, Costa Del Sol in this game is for sure a "beach episode" in all senses of the word), the girls stick around to force you to go on dates with Aerith and accrue date points and play minigames.

If this were a waifu ranking, they'd all be pretty high up there. But unless someone begs me to rank the waifus, I'd rather not lower myself any further.

Hint for minigame 21: Now that's what I call Trolling, volume 7