LogFAQs > #919108

LurkerFAQs ( 06.29.2011-09.11.2012 ), Active DB, DB1, DB2, DB3, DB4, DB5, DB6, DB7, DB8, DB9, DB10, DB11, DB12, Clear
Topic List
Page List: 1
TopicPreparing to w**** Chester out on Reddit, think this image does the job?
Ainoxi
03/17/12 12:47:00 PM
#37:


From: Rad Link 5 | #035
I would put quotation marks around this part, and also insert a comma after platformer. Like so:

"An indie 2D platformer, you say? How original!"

I'd remove "as well" from the block of text below the style images to make the sentence flow better. Or I'd make it: These styles aren't just superficial changes, either! They offer unique gameplay bonuses! (slower enemies, cheaper special attacks, lower gravity, etc!)

This one's kind of iffy, but while I'm critiquing sentence flow, I'd change the sentence about the alternate Chesters to: The different universes I mentioned earlier don't just house alternate versions of the same character.

or

The different universes I mentioned earlier don't just give us alternate versions of the same character.

By collecting brains, yum!
should be
By collecting brains. Yum!


I'm addressing that fellow Yum that everyone knows so well!
>_> <_<

--
C _ _ H _ _ E _ _ S _ _ T _ _ E _ _ R _ _ _
http://img.imgcake.com/chestaga1gifun.gif \ http://bbg-games.com \ http://twitter.com/BennFried
... Copied to Clipboard!
Topic List
Page List: 1