One time I was having sex with my new girlfriend for the 3rd or 4th time, still working the kinks out (lolololol)
Anyways, it was pitch black with just a computer monitor glowing in the room. After the first go, halfway through the second I notice this pack of ketchup is opened and its getting everywhere (We had ordered food drunkenly, it was for the fries).
I say to her "Oh ****, I think we got ketchup all over the bed." And just as I dab my finger on it and put it to my mouth for a taste she says "Oh ****, that's not ketchup, that's....me :S"
The ketchup pack was previously opened and devoured, in the take out box of fries.
I brushed my teeth for 10 minutes practically ripping my gums apart, showered for 30 minutes, and washed my sheets furiously.