Favorite Riffs (short, cont.):
*Mr. Warren hires Jimmy. For some reason, both men are sitting on the same side of the desk*
Mr. Warren: You joined us with a fine reputation in other lines.
Crow (as Warren): Now get back on your side of the desk.
*Jimmy is ready to work, but Mr. Warren isn't so sure*
Warren: First, you gotta know your product. Here's some things you wanna do before contacting.
Joel (as Warren): Here, put on this jewellery.
*After Jimmy does some reading, he goes ... door-to-door selling cars*
Crow (as Jimmy): Honey, I got a job, can I come in, please?
*After several shots of Jimmy at a few doors, with no success*
Joel (as Jimmy): Guess I shouldn't have tried to sell cars in Amish country.
*After seeing Jimmy fail several more times*
Joel: There's like a sign on every door now. We have a car, we have a car..
*After talking to Jimmy, Mr. Warren looks at some records, or something.*
Servo (as Warren): I didn't know he had a prison record. Says here he's wanted in Idaho.
Joel: What in the world..? Assault with a deadly weapon!?
Crow: aka the Pantsless Salesman, or the Piddling Peddler!?
*After a hard day at work, Mr. Warren goes to his parent's place. Old Man Warren is lightning up his pipe.*
Crow (as Warren): Uh dad.. You're lightning up my son's bubble pipe.
*Warren's mom walks out to give them some refreshments, she stares at Warren, then leans down to talk to Old Man Warren*
Servo (as Warren's mom): Who's the doughy man on our footsteps?
*The two men chat it up for a few minutes, about Jimmy and Mr. Warren's problems*
Crow (muffled, but loud): Hey, keep it down over there!
Mr. Warren: He's had a good thorough basic training. I don't have time to play nurse maid with the salesmen.
Old Man Warren: Maybe not son, but I wouldn't know about that.
*Warren slaps a fly off his arm*
Crow: That's how you handle a salesmen!
Favorite Riffs (movie):
*While reading the opening credits*
Servo: Tor Johnson? Time for go to bed!
*Two characters knock on a supposedly empty house*
Servo: No, we don't want a Chevorlet!
*Dr. Vornoff goes back to his lab, and changes coats*
Servo (to the tune from Mr. Rogers): It's a sinister day in the labratory, a sinister day in the lab.
Joel: Hey, it's Dr. Clayton Forrester. Heheh.
*Lobo brings reporter Janet into Vornoff's house. She wakes up briefly.*
Vornoff: What you need now is rest.
Joel (as Janet): Rust?
Vornoff: Rest...
Joel (as Janet): Rust?
*Prof. Strowski pulls up in the swamp, and pulls some notes out of his pocket*
Servo (as Strowski): Let's see.. Scene 12. Pull into view, exit car. Remember you're German (now with a German accent), Oh German! Yes German. Oh yes. I'm exiting car und I'm German. German as I can be! hoo-hum.
*Strowski goes to Vornoff's place, and enters. There's a continuity problem*
Crow: Hey, the door change!
*After Tor tries to kill Vornoff, Vornoff awakens and attacks Tor. At least, it's supposed to be Vornoff (aka Bela Lugosi)*
Joel: Hey, he's wearing platform shoes!
*Crow starts laughing at that*
Crow: This is Bela's best scene, and he's not even in it!
*Lobo hits "Vornoff" with a glass bottle*
Servo: Come here, come here. this is what I'd do if Bela was here!
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.