Season Three Episode Thirteen: Earth vs. The Spider w/short Using Your Voice
Network: Comedy Central
Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow T. Robot
Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
The Short's Plot Synopsis: Professor E.C. Buehler tells us how to be effective speakers. He has a nifty wire rack to display his points on, and places an emphasis on being heard, understood, and especially "pleasing".
The Movie's Plot Synopsis: Carol Flynn is worried that something has happened to her father after not coming home the night before. She and her boyfriend, Mike Simpson, go out searching and encounter a giant spider in a cave near her father's wrecked car. Coming back with the sheriff, the spider is seemingly killed by DDT spraying, and its body is then hauled for storage in the high school gymnasium. A loud dose of rock music by a teenage garage band revives the arachnid and sends it rampaging through the town.
Meanwhile, Carol and Mike have gone back to the cave to look for a bracelet that she dropped (the birthday present from her father). The arachnid then returns to its lair and the sheriff dynamites the cave entrance, unwittingly trapping the two teens inside with the spider. Rescuers open a small hole above the cave and send down a device that the teens use to electrocute the spider
Host Segments:
Prologue: It's Inside the Robot Mind with host Crow T. Robot and special guest Tom Servo! They don't get past the introduction before Commercial Sign.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Servo told some funny jokes during the break. The Mads stole Joel's Cheese Phone idea, and thank Joel when he calls them on their stupidty and evilness (a Dr. Erhardt reference!) Joel presents the CD Blow Dryer to replace the In-Salon 8-Track and the Portable Dryer Cassette models. Frank keeps eating the cheese phone.
Segment Two: Crow writes a screenplay called Earth vs. Soup. Joel and Servo aren't impressed. Crow doesn't seem downtrodden by it.
Segment Three: The new rock group, Spidorr, is interrupted by a visit from the cranky Custodian of the 7th Galaxy (Mike Nelson). Also, Crow is informed KISS was never cooled.
Segment Four: JatBs talk about the cool, yet dangerous toys of the past, like Creepy Crawlers and Lawn Darts.
Ending Segment: Tom and Crow write reports. Tom's report focuses on Bert I. Gordon's common themes. Crow's isn't finished yet. They read a few letters, and Frank has repercussions from consuming the entire cheese phone (even the inedible parts!)
Stinger: A poor speaker from the short rambles on.
Review:
This is what an MST3K short be about. Silly subject, dumb dialogue, and a goldmine of riffing material. I'd highly recommend watching the short if you got ten minutes to kill.
A bad B-movie about a giant spider. No, this doesn't have Alan Hale in it, why do you ask (though the sheriff DOES look like him..)
The riffing was good, the host segments funny, and the combination of good short + movie makes this a very enjoyable episode. 9/10
Favorite Riffs (Short):
*After a potential customer tells a door to door salesman to come back later*
Customer: He seemed like a nice guy...
All: At first.
Buehler: Every day someone loses a sale...
Crow: Or an arm.
Buehler: The first thing every speaker should do is learn the three basic things of public speaking.
Servo (as Buelher): Lie, lie, and lie.
Crow: Oh, and check your zipper.
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In the not too distant future/Next Sunday A.D.