Favorite Riffs:
*During the opening credits.*
Servo: Joe Don Baker IS Santa Claus!
*Santa laughs for no real reason.*
Mike (as Santa): *evil laugh* I will rule the world!
Mike: Why does he (Santa) have an Air Force star over his door?
Servo: He flew 23 missions over North Korea.
Mike: You don't say?
*Several children from a few countries are shown working in Santa's workshop. They sing terribly*
Crow: Can we get a country with some rhythm?
Narrator: Japan also helps Santa
Mike: By investing in his toy making corporation, they now own him lock, stock, and barrel.
Mike: If seasonal holiday depression has a soundtrack, this is it.
Narrator: Even Russia has a delegation.
Crow: Under surveillance by the CIA.
*Santa starts getting jiggly with it during the South American's bit*
Crow: Whoa, Santa's doing the forbidden dance.
*A robotic Santa Claus laughs manically*
Crow: Well this is good ol' fashion Nightmare Fuel.
*Robo-Santa continues to laugh as little Lupita (and a few other kids) look on sadly*
Crow: Santa's laughter mocks the poor.
*Santa tells his children to look for the good children, Lupita and Billy, using his REALLY bizarre tools*
Mike: Santa's tendril's reach far and wild. There is no escaping the KLAUS Organization.
*Pedro, Santa's helper, thinks he found Lupita*
Pedro: I think I found the girl?
Santa: Where? Where is she?
Servo: A dame?! Spread out, kid.
Pedro: She's in Mexico.
*Santa looks through the eye-scope.. thing, and sees... a long distance view of Earth*
Crow: Hah! Yeah, he REALLY zeroed in on her.
*Pitch and the Narrator try and persuade Lupita on what to do with a doll she has. The Narrator wins*
Crow: Oh the classic battle between evil and the narrator.
*After Santa gets thousands of letters*
Crow (As Santa): I'm more popular than Jesus!
*Santa reads one of the letters*
Crow (as Santa): Oh ho ho! Can do!
*During the haunting 'Pitch Theme'*
Servo: (To the theme) "It's the devil's theme. This goofy little song. Even though he's the embodiment of evil he has a goofy song. It brings death, despair, destruction, and disease. Now let's all join him and laugh all we please.
*Santa awakens Billy, tells him his parents loves him, then puts him back to sleep*
Crow: Alright hold it, Kringle. We got the place surrounded. Come out with your bag up, your reindeer have turned themselves in!
*Santa gets back up in his sleigh after visiting another kid's place*
Servo: Santa's mounting up procedure doesn't make for good cinema.
Mike: It's like watching Hoss mount up.
Crow: And get on his horse.
Narrator: Meanwhile, Santa goes on his way not knowing dream powder or flower to disappear are gone.
*Santa laughs*
Mike: Santa lives in a world of denial.
*Merlin (yes THAT Merlin) helps Santa get rid of Dante the dog.*
Servo: This guy trained the King of England?
Crow: Merlin and Santa are buddies?
*Santa returns back to his castle in the sky*
Mike (as Santa): Oh, I forgot France. Oh well! Ho ho ho!
--
In the not too distant future
Way down in Deep 13. ....