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TopicITT: I watch every nationally broadcast episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000
Chronic1000
12/21/11 6:49:00 AM
#97:


Favorite Riffs (cont.):


*Random shot of a person's eye looking through a magnifiying glass*

Crow: Ah! It's the cameraman and he's looking through the wrong lense!


*Laura talks to a guy in a 'I'm a virgin' shirt. *

Laura: He's really good!

Guy: Good? He's the best.

Servo: Oh, I can see wh-

Joel: Uh, don't go there.


*Laura is pushed off a cliff. The camping rockers hear her scream*

Girl: What was that?

Crow: Sounded like Laura leaping to her death.

*After Rick and his friend Ryan find Laura*

Rick: Jeez, she ain't dead is she?

Ryan: I don't think, but she's in bad shape. Quick grab her legs.

Crow: Quick, move her spine around alot. Dope.


*Tommy puts his ear to the egg he found*

Servo (Quietly): Let me out! I said let me out!


*After the group finds Tommy's house, and puts Laura in bed*

Molly (Tommy's Mom): She'll be alright. With a good night's rest and she'll be as right as rain.

Joel: Yeah, that's what cures a crushed spine.


*Tommy gives Trumpy some milk*

Tommy: Do you know what playing is, Trumpy?

Crow (as Trumpy): Yes, it's when I break you in half.


*After Laura dies, Molly tries to get everyone to leave the room.*

Crow (as Molly): Well come on. Your breakfast is getting cold, and she's not getting any warmer.


Tommy (to Trumpy): You must learn to live outside. Nobody must see you.

Servo: He doesn't speak your language, dickweed.


*Trumpy is fed peanuts by Tommy*

Tommy: Want some more?

Joel (as Tommy): Wait a second, let me get the attachments. You can do the couch.


Tommy: These (the peanuts) We'll put away for later.

Crow (as Trumpy): No! More!

Tommy: Now we can play.

Crow: Like hell. More food.

Tommy: Do you know how to play? What do you know?

Crow: Eating.


Joel: Boy, I hope Trumpy doesn't sneeze, he'll pistol whip that kid with peanuts.

Crow: Wow, never thought about that.


*After Tommy looks in his telescope and sees lions, and elephants*

Tommy: You can do magic things!

Crow: It's called evil, kid.


*during a stop motion bit*

Joel: Oh great, now we're in Gumby.


*After Bill and Brian drive through a snowy bit, they end up at a cabin with no snow on the ground.*

Servo: Aw.. Thank goodness it's summer again. We've been driving for months!

Bill: Looks like no one is here.

Brian: How can you tell?

Servo: Just go up to the door. You drove two seasons just to get here


*Bill and Brian carry guns up to a cabin*

Bill: Charlie? Chuck? Is anyone there?

Joel: He knows them yet he carries a gun?

Servo: Oh it's a practical joke. He opens the door and plugs them with thirty rounds. It's kind of an inside family thing.


*After Trumpy's mom is killed it... buries itself.*

Crow: Oh! Self-buried monster. How do you explain that?


*Trumpy watches the group leave him alone*

Crow (as Trumpy): Wait don't leave me here! I was raised by a child. I can't survive in the wilderness. I'll.. just wait here then.

--
In the not too distant future
Next Sunday A.D. ....
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