I actually wrote up a great rebuttal of that Cracked article, so I'll just post that here:
All of those points can be pretty easily taken down, though.
5. They're hiring dudes to take care of it beforehand, and hiring someone to be a "penis-tracker admin" isn't really all that different than a message board or blog having a guy going through the comments/posts/being a mod. (note: Reggie did an interview which clarified how this would work, but still, it's like having a community manager, which is something that all three console developers have already)
4. If you don't like the social networking stuff, turn it off. Facebook has proven that there's a large contingency of people who like their games to be social, and they're not gonna require it to be on, so just turn it off.
3. Most launches as of late have had a bunch of ports. Nintendo is just focusing on them more, because they're bigger games. Again, if you think it's dumb, don't buy them. (note: Remember the N64 launch? Two games. Sure, they were both pretty good, but there were two of them.)
2. This is just dumb. It adds to the tension and strategy to not pause the game when you're looking in a box/at a corpse for stuff, and it's a great use of the controller.
1. It's not like the controller is replacing one of the controllers that's already there. If you have 5 friends, right now one dude would just be sitting there watching, but now he's actually doing something. Plus, if you have a younger kid, who might not be able to do stuff otherwise, he can actually help out instead of impotently poking at buttons.