Achromatic posted...
Yo Westbrick dog I don't mean to interrupt but a parent's job isn't to tell a young man how to live his life it is to have the trust in their own ability to raise him to guide him towards good decisions in his love life, and the fact the father disrespected that boundary puts him in the wrong regardless of intention.
Chris out.
So according to you, any time a parent strongly disapproves of something their child is doing, this warrants dissolution of the relationship? What kind of fantasy land are you living in? This isn't at all what a parent's job is, nor how a child should respond to parental concern.
Dark Young Link posted...
"But yeah...zero respect, no support in any way other than money, and demoralizing me. In the last 5 years, anytime I came to him with any problem he would just curse me off and then walk away or hang up on me."
Yeah, that's some parenting.
Come now. It's clear that his father disapproves of many of the decisions his son has made, particularly this (rather serious) relationship decision, and it's equally clear that User's being a bit indulgent here. His father sounds like a perfectly good parent, just a tight ass.
Oh I see what mistake you're making. You think that being a parent is some sort of title, or badge. It aint. Being a parent just means you impregnate someone or get impregnated and the lifeform you made didn't die in the 9 months being in the mother. Plenty of people can do this, caring about their child has nothing to do with it.
...No. You're grossly underestimating how strong the biological connection between parent and child is. Yes, there are exceptions, but I can guarantee with a strong degree of certainty that his father, based on what we know, cares deeply about him.
What concerns? There's concerns about dating younger women. There's concerns about dating white women, black women, anyone at all! List a potential suitor and I'll list a "concern" about them. It probably won't be reasonable, but it'll be a concern.
There are no serious concerns about dating black women over white women, not any that would get a father seriously upset. Besides, this is an empty hypothetical. There are legitimate concerns with dating an older women, which we've gone over countless times now.
If I was a father, I'd be worried about the gold digging aspect at first, but I would also trust that I raised my son well enough to make his own decisions.
Sounds just like what a typical twenty-something with no parenting experience would say. As a parent, you put faith in your kids, but you are always concerned about them. Always. And if you feel that they're making a very poor decision about something important, you will always try and help steer them onto the right path.
There's literally a risk in dating anyone
Risk vs. reasonable risk.
Where do we draw the line?
At the line of what a father figure would feel to be "reasonable." For example: that his son is being used by a desperate older figure who's using him for emotional and/or financial security.
Again, where you would personally draw the line compared to where his father would draw the line is irrelevant. His father is concerned, has good reasons for his concerns, and that should be enough not to act like a spoiled immature kid and end one of the most important relationships in a person's life.
--
World Peace, ONE NIGHT ONLY
http://www.abload.de/img/laffxgj7l.gif