Lurker > GrandConjuraton

Lairen posted...

Kefka apparently ruined your life. Hes that fucking good.

You spread the word of kefka all the time. Your doing a million times more to raise kefka awareness than me.

Look, just cause he did evil things, enjoyed them, succeeded, became a god, and destroyed all magic upon death doesnt mean hes the absolute best. I mean i like this one other dude better so...theres that.

Anybody with any actual taste prefers characters with better characterization than just "psychopath".

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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Their narcissism and a generally unfounded feeling of superiority.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

https://pan-amerikannativefront.bandcamp.com/album/tecumsehs-war

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

TheGreatGeno6 posted...

Yeah but now the CEO won't be able to afford his 8th private jet and...oh god I'm gonna cry, hold on, gotta keep it together......and they might have to SELL ONE OF THEIR 10 VACATION HOMES!!!! NOOOOOOO *sobs uncontrollably*

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

WaterLink posted...

Is he getting any kind of payment out of this? I know nothing can really pay for taking away your late 20s and all of your 30s and 40s, but the least that could be done for cases like this is give the person a decent lump sum to make up for basicallg ruining his life

This.

It would absolutely be deplorable if they basically squandered this guy's life for absolutely no reason and they didn't do anything to even ATTEMPT to do something to re compensate him in some way.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

Square Enix

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

saspa posted...

Magneto and Professor X

That was my thought upon reading the topic title, x.x

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

BlueAnnihilator posted...

Are you looking for people who are just as miserable as you or something?

I'm just wanting attention, mostly. I suffer from a severe deficit of it, so this is pretty much my best shot at getting a quick (but temporary) fix, x.x

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

bump

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

LumaRosalina posted...

D, I live to enjoy life

I wonder what that's like.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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Bump

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

bump

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

RedJackson posted...

people like me and Lost ITT want to see you be yourself so we can all hang out

But this is me, x.x . What you see with me is what you get, generally...

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

https://www.last.fm/user/DarkRikudr

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Oh, that's right. I remember now. Yeah, that's fucked and it sucks you got left in the dark like that. It was a really shitty thing for that girl to do. There are people out there who would have your best interest in mind as well tho. Obviously, this girl didn't at the end. Or she is dealing with extreme social issues. It's hard to tell you that there is good out there when a lot of your feelings have reasonable sources. I just hope you get worn down at some point and maybe give people's advice the benefit of the doubt at some point.

If I felt that I had the freedom to do so, there's something I would have done a long time ago... but due to worries about the welfare of my family (my mom in particular, though) and religious implications, I don't really feel that I have that freedom. If anything ever caved enough, it would be in that regard, though...

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

Lost_All_Senses posted...

I see. What was the point where you said to yourself "This is over and not happening anymore"?

In regards to her? When I realized that she blocked me, :/ . My mom tried to message her herself, but it turned out that she blocked her, too. There wasn't really anything that could be done at that point.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

RedJackson posted...

I hope you know you can be in and still be out. I grew up ostracized for sticking it to my own bully friends, ostracized for not really looking like the other groups or knowing enough about special interests, ostracized by a whole church, ostracized by spanish homies for hanging out for whites, ostracized by whites for being spanish.. I grew up with my guitar and never fit in. In High-School I abused a lot of things, I felt like people just saw me as a rockstar that could party and by that point I just couldnt relate to anything or anyone... I had my best friends who did stick by me, but since everything felt and looked fine from the outside I just never had felt like I had a home anywhere especially being that my own didnt feel like one for a long time.

Life is people like you. I often think about before and I wish I had more people like you to talk to because I probably wouldnt have caused my body and my mind the amount of harm I did eventually

If we were in a circle and you were standing farther away, or not saying much I would ask you for your own thoughts and I would make damn sure you stood in there with us in that circle of conversation

Hope you feel better TC; you could ask me for my social media, number, whatever man and we can talk about whatever - I appreciate questions with no context, I appreciate any form of conversation in general

I can relate in my own way, unfortunately, :/ .

I grew up in a very religious and homophobic family, and the area I lived in was just as bad as they were in terms of general bigotry... once I was old enough to personally have the knowledge/awareness of me being transgender, I knew that telling anyone or being open at all in regards to it would bring nothing but disaster. My father constantly levied the threat of disowning us (my sister and I, I mean) if we were even just gay, so I basically went through a large portion of my life trying to ignore who I was. I tried to be someone else, and didn't exactly do a good job of it; people began to hate me, and over the years, I went on to be constantly accused of being "gay" and a number of slurs related to that.

The whole story is a bit long to get into right now, but I eventually came to terms with being trans, and a certain number of things happening in the year I graduated (2013) ended with me eventually coming clean to my mother about it. I managed to start hormones around the end of October 2013, and I even got my legal information changed the next year. I'm a lot more comfortable with my body in comparison to the past, but... I still feel the stigma of it all. I know very well what most people think of people like me (through both my own interactions and reading news stories, like the hatecrimes and murders of other people who are trans), and it's a big part of the burden that I carry. It's part of why I feel i'll never be good enough in comparison to others, and honestly, me hiding from the world is ultimately a good thing for others, too.

In other words, my situation isn't one with any easy solution... there may not even be one at all. Between all of what i've said in my other posts, there are a certain number of layers that keeps all of my fears and negative feelings towards the world continually propped up and thriving.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

Lost_All_Senses posted...

To get more on topic. It sucks that that person did it to you. But I feel like unless you can pinpoint what you did, it wasn't really about you. She could of had a lack of experience in making long lasting friends. She could have something in her that gives her cold feet as soon as she gets to a certain point of connection. I think you using that situation as a justification to block off that entire avenue of your life is ill advised. If I could have direct input, Id like to see you try again but with a more guarded approach. Like, just go in with the knowledge that some people are flakey and unable to form deeper relationships. Be prepared to get the s*** end but keep a small hope for something better. Expectations are damning.

That situation isn't something that can be replicated, honestly. The reason that I was so willing to trust her is because of our shared past; we went to school with each other for at least ten years, and she was one of the few people that was actually nice to me throughout that expanse of time. We always had a positive relationship (despite never outright being friends), and she even stood up for me a few times if she was around when people were being awful to me. When we finally reconnected over Facebook back near the end of 2018, we talked for a while and she expressed a desire to be friends... I felt that she was best shot at making a friend, so I was about as hopeful as I could personally be. You already know how that ended, though.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Ah, you're right. I did do exactly that. My bad. I apologise. I didn't even try to get your side before assuming what your experience was like. I still stand by trying not to carry that with you through all of life tho. And you perceive all the darker blights of the world because that's what the world guided you to focus on. There are good people too tho and ignoring them doesn't do anyone any good. There are people who would be a pleasure to be around and also see you as a pleasure to be around and you're selling yourself short. And your views on yourself shows that you believe the people who treated you like shit and didn't have enough good people in your life to pull you out of it. My experience is completely different and there's a middle ground in there somewhere that you could get to if you just keep your mind open to people. You can stay guarded of course and should, but don't completely close it off :/.

I would be willing to think differently if I could get a direct example in my life of my views being wrong, but that doesn't seem plausible. I've mentioned it before (probably several times, even), but I thought that I had a chance of that last year, but... the person I thought that wanted to be my friend didn't actually care at all. She claimed to understand how I felt and said that she was as alone as I am, but if she actually was, she wouldn't have thrown me away like the trash that I am. All without an explanation or even a simple goodbye.

I got my hopes of finally having a friend in real life for the first time, and it did nothing but make things worse. I feel much more misanthropic than I used to be in good part to that experience, leaving me even more wounded than before. I might be with my family, but my soul still stands alone.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

Colorahdo posted...

I don't feel that way

you people need to move out of the city and experience nature in your daily lives tbh

I live in a very rural part of Kentucky. I've seen more than enough nature.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Everyone got some form of bullying in high school. If you hung out in my high school circle you'd probably think most of us hated each other lol. You definitely shouldn't be still carrying with you. Also, if I held on to the stuff I did before 20, Id never forgive myself. The 10 years after that is who I am tho. You can't hold on to the stuff that happened in that stage of your life. Do you have people in your life that bring it up or something?

I find it a bit insulting that you would try to diminish it like that; most everyone was in on it, and even some of the teachers regularly crapped on me when I was in middle school. If I struggled with something, I had one teacher in particular who would alert the rest of the class to it and make it into a joke, and when he got tired of me asking for help, he just moved me to the main back of the room and ignored me for the rest of the year. I had him for two years, so having to see so much of him in particular was pretty frustrating and demoralizing. Aside from some physical violence, the students also loved to steal my things and hide them away (I almost ended up having to pay for a textbook because someone hid mine so well), I was regularly berated and excluded, and most generally did what they could do to make miserable. For example, I had some personal belongings ruined (like a book that I personally owned) once because some of them ganged up on me and pelted me with a ton of water balloons... and they didn't do that to anyone else, either. It was just me.

In high school, a lot of the bullying started to end (I did pick up a number of newer bullies, but they graduated before I did) and people just ignored me unless they could squeeze some sort of use out of me (like letting them copy my homework or giving them free stuff). I felt so desperate and alone that I knowingly let them use me, because I hoped that someone would actually appreciate it at some point... but that didn't happen. I spent almost all of my time desperate and alone, watching other people enjoy their friends and their lives in general. It made me realize what a loser I was, and when my isolation never changed by the time that I graduated, it set the stage for the final stage of my life: nothingness. I've been a shut-in for seven years now and have made little to no progress in life.

No one brings any of this up, but I can't help but always recall these kinds of things. They're all that i've known, and when I look around the world and see all of the hatred and intolerance absolutely everywhere, it doesn't do anything to convince me that things could ever be different for me. I think that this is just how my life was meant to be, and even though it's miserable, i've come to accept that this was all i'm meant for. Life wasn't meant for people like me, so I guess i'll just hide away for the rest of my existence.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

Lost_All_Senses posted...

I'm on SSI, I could be considered the same from a lot of people's perspective. I don't care about those people tho. I only care what the people who actually get to know me think. And I have a feeling you got some projection type stuff going on where you read people wrong. You don't fit the profile of a person that is immediately disliked by others. You probably bottom out at people being indifferent to you. Which I know most people who meet me are probably indifferent as well. s***, I could be the one projecting atm, but I have good intentions so I don't really give a s***. See how that works? Just have good intentions and push every other weight off you.

Indifference is something that does hurt and deter me, but there's been plenty of proof in the past that people genuinely dislike me (such as the bullying I went through during school), There's been little proof to the contrary, and indifference brings no comfort.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

Lost_All_Senses posted...

You can't know you're trash. We're all human, we can only theorize on ourselves. We can't be objective like that. You can think you're trash with all your heart, but that doesn't confirm it for anyone else and it doesn't make it a fact.

Most people i've come in contact with would disagree with you. I don't add anything to the world, and honestly, i'm nothing but a resource drain.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

A person is automatically dead to me if I find out that they are a bigot, but i'll forgive them if they renounce the bigotry at some point.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

LeperMessiahXX posted...

Get yourself some help. I mean that seriously, talk to someone IRL about these thoughts.

I have a therapist and a psychiatrist i've been seeing for three years now, if that counts.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

spudger posted...

fair; next

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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Lost_All_Senses posted...

Not even close to true.

But, Im on the fence. I just don't give this stuff any thought cause you're throwing everything into a black abyss. You will never get anywhere by thinking about it. Waste of mental energy. I just do right by my people and that's good enough for me.

Once you're good enough for yourself, you can start living.

I know that something is trash when I see it, and that happens to apply to me, too.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

LeperMessiahXX posted...

Instead focus on how amazing the fact that you are even alive and in a world like this. Even with all the warts, it's truly awe inspiring if you really dig deep into those types of thoughts.

Amazing? I have to disagree.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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Confirm.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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No

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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I tend to avoid bread when I can, but kale? Come on, man.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

Tequilawhatitdo posted...

Did anybody actually watch the video

I wouldn't have even entered the topic if I knew this was going to be a video link and not an article, x.x

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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I misread the topic title and expected something related to the book series, >.<

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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Convenient timing.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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Yeah, because that totally fixes everything.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

Zero bar

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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Deny

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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ModLogic posted...

lmao FGC

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

Wii_Shaker posted...

I can't imagine Trump saying anything that won't make the situation worse.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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Do gamers have no allies left now?!?!?!?!

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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How could this actually surprise anyone? He doesn't care about anyone but himself.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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Fake news? Really...?

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
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I recognize him as a bigot and a racist, so i'm not surprised.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

tremain07 posted...

the world has always been trash

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

I like treasure hunting types of shows, but it can get kinda frustrating that these things prove inconclusive almost 100% of the time, x.x

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj

ThanksUglyGod posted...

Why? This has always been happening

As much as it is now? No, not quite.

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You were the lugubrious spirit, the geist that warned this frozen silent storm
https://imgur.com/WXUtvXj