Lurker > Anagram

Is it accurate to the Japanese version to not have 'turnabout' in the episode titles?

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Started: July 6, 2005

GTM posted...

it's one of the settings in the options

Oh derp, I thought text skip meant something else. I'm dumb.

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Is there a way to make the text scroll faster, or am I just crazy?

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I wonder if this does well, will they translate Edgeworth 2? Because I don't want to memorize new names after the fan translation.

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For a minute, I was going to say "cool that a MM1 theme got that high," then I realized Cold Man wasn't Ice Man.

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I'll get the game tomorrow, beat it, and then play Ghost Trick.

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Brought to you by my sister complaining that I put all of the girls on the bottom of a list I made, which I stand by.

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https://kimono.piow.jp/kimonolist.html

My personal favorite is Argentina, in terms of 'we're not even trying compared to the others.'

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Next Up: A waifu

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I guess I should mention Kaede's Girlfriendness, which is way more straightforward. Ultimate Pianist is a pretty strong waifu job. Its not quite as strong as doctor or Olympic athlete, but its very, very good. Thats gonna impress people, thats gonna be a reliable source of income, and thats not going to require endless time moving around away from home. I guess that does mean youll have to find room for a giant piano, though. I dont know, my apartment is only so large, and I can hear my neighbors cat run around next door. I can only assume that a huge ****ing piano is not going to be allowed. And thats not even considering how youd get a piano through the door. I legitimately dont think its possible, and even if it is, it would take up like a third of the non-bedroom. I guess my point here is that piano has to be the most expensive, impractical, and annoying musical instrument to take care of. Does someone who knows more about music than I do disagree? Like, near me, theres a harp store, where they have these like 5000-dollar harps in the window, and I look at them and think how are you still in business, who buys a giant harp, and pianos have to be a thousand times worse, right? But Im really just bull****ing you, if it comes down to it, I can find the room. This isnt even close to a dealbreaker.

In the end, like Chiaki, Kaede is perfectly-designed waifubait. Thats one of Danganronpas three greatest strengths: murder mysteries, a silly tone, and waifus. It always delivers on all of those things, but Kaede still stands out as one of the strongest waifus, designed by expert waifologists in a laboratory for this purpose. The hilarious thing is, like Chiaki being designed as the perfect waifu within the logic of the game itself, Kaede is also designed that way within the game itself. So, I think basically everyone can admit that Kaede's an extremely powerful waifu, not just in Danganronpa, but in the all-time Hall of Waifus.

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Mega Danganronpa V3 spoilers

3. Kaede Akamatsu

Series: Danganronpa
Nominator: azuarc (0/4 remaining)
Personal Familiarity: Yes
Attractiveness: 85 (14/145 tie)
Personality: 83 (6/145 tie)
Girlfriendness: 91 (6/145 tie)
Overall Waifu Score: 86.3
Hair: Blonde (1/57 remaining)
Eyes: Purple (0/8 remaining)
Race: Asian (0/58 remaining)
Age: 15-19 (1/62 remaining)
Medium: Video Game (2/58 remaining)

I'll just say this immediately: as I went along, I did a lot of rejiggering of the scores. Kaede, Claire, and Sonia were each #1 at some point. As far as I'm concerned, they're all perfectly valid options, as are most of the waifus in the top 10 to top 20. This probably goes without saying, but any waifu whos gotten this far is top tier, so theres no shame in only getting third.

By the way, the clue referred to Kaedes last name, which means passionate red maple tree. Was I cheating with that? Yes.

Before I go on, I just want to complain about Danganronpas official height and weight translations. The Japanese games list Kaedes height as 167cm, but the English translation is 58, which I know is 173cm. I know this because thats my height. Translating height numbers is the easiest thing in the world, how do you screw this up?

Lets just get Kaedes looks out of the way. Obviously, she hits every thing I like in a waifu, except shes got purple eyes instead of blue or green which I will allow, since purple eyes are technically real. I also very much appreciate how she wanted to establish that shes the Ultimate Pianist, so she wears music note bobby pins and a music note short skirt. Thats dedication. Actually, why does almost every girl in this series wear such short skirts? The only exceptions are Toko, who has a long skirt, Hiyoko, who has a kimono, and Aoi, who has short shorts. I mean, I know the real answer is sex appeal, but there are so many girls in this series who should logically be wearing pants. Ill allow it this time, because at least Kaede doesnt have some kind of really active skill (Im reminded of Chie from Persona 4 flipping around with her short skirt), but its still suspicious. But look, in all seriousness, what youve got here is a waifu with long, deep blond hair, a light color scheme, lots of cute, silly sprites, and not quite generic anime cuteness going on, which is everything I like in an anime waifu.

Kaedes personality is a little more complex, though. If shed been exactly what you think shed be, if thered never been a twist at the end of chapter 1, then shed probably be in the 90s. She could evern have been #1 on the list. Because Kaedes smart, capable, optimistic, empathetic, has a ton of presence and charisma, is canonically into introverted weirdo boys who like dark colors, and has a super take-charge personality. Imagine being such a natural leader that you can convince everyone not to kill each other even if it means theyll probably die, including a serial killer. Thats Kaede. So, if were talking purely about strength of personality waifus, Kaede is probably #1.

But Kaedes also the first person to crack under pressure, isnt she? Among all of the Danganronpa waifus on this list, shes the only murderer. I guess Maki and Miu tried to kill people, though. Anyway, point is, Kaedes a giant ****ing hypocrite. And worse than that, shes also kind of manipulative? Its one thing to snap under pressure and kill someone without thinking, but she invents a whole complicated plan well in advance to trick a boy who likes her into being an accomplice to murder. Like, I get it, shes under a uniquely bizarre circumstance and needs to do something, but she goes about it in basically the worst way imaginable in a way that reveals really nasty things about herself. And yes, she kills someone on behalf of everyone else, to try to save fourteen other people, which is a pretty compelling mitigating circumstance, and she just admits to it to save everyone else instead of trying to save herself, but her judgment is just the absolute worst. Which is a problem, since shes so damn charismatic that she can talk you into doing basically anything. Like, the only time in the game the others turn against her is when she tries to convince them to enter the super death trap maze four times in a row, and even then, they're just like 'no, but you're still our leader.' And she's devoted enough to doing the right thing that she'll even get down on her hands and knees to beg Miu for help, the second most annoying person in the universe.

And yet, the fact that Kaedes actions legitimately are (intended) for everyone elses benefit, and she legitimately never does anything greedy except wildly overestimate her own abilities goes a long way in redeeming her. Like, within the context of the game, its extremely easy to see why everyone is still obsessed with her after her death, and shes still talked about until the final case. No ones lamenting the perverted chef's death five cases later. So, Kaedes perfection cracks and her judgment falters when other peoples lives are on the line, and while a wacky bear-themed killing game is unlikely to come up in day-to-day life, she just has such a sense of justice that doesn't really allow for being talked out of things, and combined with how she knowingly manipulates people, even when it hurts her to do so... I guess I'm saying that it's possible to see Kaede do other morally questionable things when placed in extreme circumstances, so I dont know. Kaedes a really interesting corner case as far as waifus go, and you can really justify wildly varying Personality scores for her.

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Tag for Phage

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Next Up: A waifu associated with a primary color

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4. Zelda

Series: The Legend of Zelda
Nominator: changmas (0/4 remaining)
Personal Familiarity: Yes
Attractiveness: 74 (38/145)
Personality: 87 (4/145)
Girlfriendness: 90 (8/145)
Overall Waifu Score: 83.6
Hair: Blonde (2/57 remaining)
Eyes: Green (1/22 remaining)
Race: White (2/61 remaining)
Age: 15-19 (2/62 remaining)
Medium: Video Game (3/85 remaining)

Princess + Nerd Girl. Done.

Thank you, changmas. Thank you so much for specifying Breath of the Wild, and not just Princess Zelda in general. Trying to rank a gestalt of all of Zeldas appearances would be a big nightmare, and this really saves me from that. And yes, this goes without saying, but this is the best version of Zelda. She doesnt even really have competition. Sorry, strangely emotionless Twilight Princess Zelda! Youre maybe in the top three girls of your own game, after Midna and the butterfly chick.

This is unrelated, but when I think of video game princesses, I think of Zelda before Peach. Am I the only one? And man, Nintendo has really upped its waifu game over the last ten years. I think of the great pre-2010 Nintendo waifus, and its really just Samus, Lyn, and maybe Rosalina.

So, Zelda is a princess, which means she has all of the negative princess attributes Ive mentioned before but shes also a rebellious princess, meaning most of them are negated or muted. This is further compounded in her favor by the fact that she is very specifically a scholar who researches ancient super technology. For waifu job ranking purposes, Im just going to count that as an especially important archeologist. You know, thinking on things really hard, archeology is probably a bad field for a waifu, since theyll be gone a lot. It sort of edges into adventurer territory, in fact. But Ill allow it, because I think the positive princess attributes more than balance things out. In fact, Id say that scholar is one of the best possible waifu jobs, because anyone who makes waifu ranking lists is going to have way more to talk about to a scholar than, say, a pirate or a ninja or knight or whatever. Like, I get the appeal of a really physically active waifu who runs around and has adventures and can kick your ass, I get it and thats completely valid. But if youre being honest with yourself, ask yourself who youre more compatible with, that girl or the cute blonde scholar who likes nerdy crap, books, and overly-complicated toys.

I didnt consider this until just now, so it didnt affect Zeldas ranking, but I just realized that not having a last name is going to be a giant problem. Zelda wont be able to sign up for anything online, she cant get a credit card Im only imagining problems here. How did Prince do it? Very curious.

I think the big defining thing that sets BotW Zelda apart from her reincarnations, and the thing that helps catapult her up this list, is her personality. Aside from SS, shes the only Zelda to really have much of a personality, and it changes everything. Adorable smart girl who lacks confidence sometimes and stumbles over her words when shes with the boy she likes, but is determined and helpful regardless is A+ material. Im counting Zelda as a nerd girl, which makes her the highest-ranking one on the list over Chiaki, but she also has the benefits of being a princess. Its like an unstoppable combination. Probably a good decision to make her lean toward princess visually, though. If BotW was set in like modern New York or something, shed totally have braids and glasses or something.

By the way, I dont really know how to factor this in, so I just gave Zelad a bonus to her Girlfriendness based on having the Triforce of Wisdom. I assume that gives her good judgment most of the time, even if the games dont really bear that one out.

Did you know that this is the only version of Zelda to wear pants? The only other one who wears pants is Tetra, who stops the instant she learns shes a princess, and also loses her tan. Big mistake, Tetra. Big ****ing mistake. I guess I could technically hold poor fashion choices against this version of Zelda, since it might apply through reincarnations, but Ill let this one slide. And yes, BotW Zelda does wear a dress during formal events, which, fine. As for BotW Zelda only, yeah, shes pretty. Bonus points for blonde hair and green eyes my favorite of each. I have green eyes myself, though only brown hair. I like how shes going for practicality, so she wears a tunic, but its the most elaborate tunic ever, because shes a princess, and she doesnt seem to quite realize it. I might be reading too much into things, but whatever. I like the British accent (by the way strangely large number of British accents on this list? I want to say its the most common after American and Japanese?), where shes clearly upper class but not preposterously so, like Lunafreya.

One funny thing about Zelda is that, aside from maybe Daisy, Rosalina, and Tifa if you count spinoffs, shes the waifu on this list with by far the most appearances, yet she probably has less dialogue than any other waifu in the top ten except Tae. Does this matter? no.

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For complicated reasons, I need some input here. What's a better waifu hair color, blonde or red? We're only talking about anime 'basically yellow' and 'way redder than real life redheads' here.

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You're very good.

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Tag

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xp1337 posted...

yes

X and 2's DLC Story (Torna) are way better than Xenoblade 1 (imo).

I probably would play those games, but I have way too huge a backlog. When I finish this waifu topic, I plan to start a playthrough topic of a game B8's been telling me to play for a while now.

azuarc posted...

That could be Kaede (Shuichi), Zelda (Link), probably Claire though admittedly I know little about RE...but probably not Sonia. Unless you want to argue that she thinks about Kazuichi in terms of how to politely stay away from him.

RaidenGarai posted...

Sonia thinks about Gundham

I actually did not think about Kazuichi, I was thinking of Gundham when I wrote the hint. Not saying that Sonia is next up, just saying that I knew the hint applied to multiple waifus.

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Mac Arrowny posted...

X is the best and the main character has the same VA as Fiora.

I didn't know that lol

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Next Up: A waifu who spends a long time thinking about a boy

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Xenoblade Chronicles spoilers

5. Fiora

Series: Xenoblade
Nominator: Cody1153 (0/4 remaining)
Personal Familiarity: Yes
Attractiveness: 88 (11/145)
Personality: 80 (9/145 tie)
Girlfriendness: 80 (12/145 tie)
Overall Waifu Score: 82.6
Hair: Blonde (3/57 remaining)
Eyes: Green (2/22 remaining)
Race: White (2/61 remaining)
Age: 15-19 (3/62 remaining)
Medium: Video Game (4/85 remaining)

This may be a controversial decision, but I folded voice attractiveness into the general attractiveness rating. And Ill just say now that Fiora has the best voice of anyone on the list. I dont know what it is about her borderline Cockney accent, thats not an accent I would ever describe as especially sexy, but theres something to her that really works for me. I think its the same thing as Aerie from Baldurs Gate II, where the VA knocks it out of the park on the innocent, gentle girl voice. Except with Fiora, she also has cute mannerisms that are visible in her movements, whereas Aerie is a sprite so tiny that you can barely see her walk cycle.

I guess I should mention that for Fiora, Im assuming this is her human form and not her robot form. Everyone is free to complain about my rampant robophobia, but Im calling it here: normal human ladies are sexier than robots with a human head attached. Although, hell, even in her human form, her hair is like shoulder-length, whereas her robot form hair is only down to about her chin. My point here is that human Fiora > robot Fiora. I also really enjoy how of the three humans we see turned into robots, the other two get turned into hideous monsters, while Fioras head is the same except for a haircut. Also, gotta say, Fioras got a great I-dont-know-what-thing-is-called-that-covers-her-chest. According to the Wiki, its a bralette, which Im pretty sure is wrong. Do they not want to just say that Fiora is just wearing a fancy bra instead of a shirt? Because this isnt even in the top ten dumbest anime girl clothing Ive seen. I already talked about Alice from Zero Escape, right?

If were being really honest here, Fiora might be the flattest waifu left? She doesnt have a ton to her as a character, both compared to the other party members in her game, but also the other waifus on the list. Half of her character isnt even really her, its a weird ghost that possesses her. But thats not really a detriment if youre talking solely about the context of a dorky waifu ranking topic, so I mainly brought this up to laugh at Melia some more. Its shocking how Fiora is presented as the kindest, brightest girl ever, but is just completely unable to see that Melia is also pining for Shulk. Like, its funny when Shulk just doesnt notice the beautiful, intelligent princess has the hots for him, but Fiora is outside of that equation and has no idea. I guess this indicates that shes kind of oblivious or dumb, and her optional conversations with other party members sort of bores that out. Sharla is like dude Shulk has really changed after you came back to life and Fiora is like really? I thought he was the same, and its like Fiora, how would you know what Shulk was like when you were dead?

I guess what it comes down to with Fiora is that unlike a lot of waifus who have tortured pasts or really complex goals or whatever, shes pretty simple in what she is and what she wants. Even when the world is exploding around her and an insane guy is screaming about becoming a god and all of those JRPG climax things are happening, and Fiora herself is a key part of that and intimately involved in whats going on, her actual character and opinions are very straightforward. I know she worries about being a robot and running out of power and dying, or outliving all of her friends, but its all very abstract. Shes never like I need to end things with Shulk so he isnt hurt, shes only I dont want to bring up my concerns while were on a crazy adventure to save the world. Its kind of interesting, too, because the stuff that happens to her you would assume might change her, but shes still basically the same sweet girl at the end. And thats not bad! Like, Fioras overwhelmingly kind nature basically resolves any question of like compatibility with her.

And as for her Girlfriendness, Ill admit that I may have overranked Fiora here, but Im standing by it regardless. Sure, Im extremely hazy about what her job qualifications are, I dont think you can list ex-robot on a resume, but that aside, we know shes a killer cook, we know she knows how to take of injured people, and we know that she really loves spinning knives around after every battle. All of these are good things. Dunban is also one of the less stupid party members, so hes probably a cool brother-in-law. I guess Im expected to go on a crazy revenge mission if shes murdered, though, which is a serious downside.

Look, Im going to sum it up like this: Fiora is the ultimate simple village maiden + childhood friend waifu. You might be thinking that Im doing her a small disservice by calling her that, but its not really an insult, nor is it inaccurate. I just think shes done about as well as you can possibly do such a concept, but I also think that such a concept has a lower ceiling on waifu quality than certain other concepts. Does that make sense?

On an unrelated note, Ive never played the other Xenoblade games. They looked way worse than Chronicles. Am I wrong for thinking that? I just took one look at Chronicles X and thought it looked horrible, and Chronicles 2 and its sword girls and catgirls (one of whom is also a sword girl?) seemed like a parody of anime concepts.

Lastly, I couldn't figure out how to include this image in the write-up, so I'll just awkwardly include it here at the end.


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Llarian posted...

What are you using to draw the art? and what program are you using to put it together?

ClipStudio, on my iPad. Currently just working on sprites. I dont expect Ill actually work on the proper game portion any time soon.

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I'm working on and off on a VN since I found a program to do it for free. Currently just tooling around and slowly drawing the art for it.

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It happens to me occasionally, but only when I take a nap on my couch. No idea why.

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I mean, if you're splitting Europe into Eastern and Western and have no other divisions, then Hungary clearly falls into Eastern.

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Spark Man A+

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I was limiting myself to real hair colors, although I would still place blonde above any fake ones.

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I wanted to main Palutena, but I'm honestly just not very good at Smash. My best was back in Melee with Captain Falcon, where I was pretty good, but since then my skills have only degenerated.

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DanKirby posted...

She is, but only for the final stage of the game.

That still counts!

DanKirby posted...

She is, but only for the final stage of the game.

Anyway, if you didn't like the vertical platforming in the original Kid Icarus, I'd still recommend trying the second one. It improved those stages a lot (no death falls, less annoying snakes) and was a pretty fun game overall, I think.

My backlog is full enough as it is without adding games from the 80s to it, but I'll consider it.

NBIceman posted...

Not nearly enough red hair appreciation here tbh.

Accel_R8 posted...

redheads ftw

I'd call red as a solid #2.

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That's a huge amount to write in advance, I'm impressed.

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Oh man, I didn't expect that post I made ten years ago to ever get unearthed, but here we are.

SCII's story is balls. Just truncating what I wrote a decade ago,
1. Kerrigan is retconned so that she didn't willingly embrace being infested and the Infested Kerrigan you knew wasn't really her, so basically that character, the interesting 'queen ***** of the universe,' dies quickly in SC2 and is replaced by the original Kerrigan, who then gets infested again because it's clear the writers didn't plan things ahead. There were multiple times in the second and third campaign that something from the first campaign gets contradicted, which was weird if they really envisioned this game as three games.
2. The story now revolves around ancient prophecies and omnipotent space gods, which is terrible. Ancient prophecies and space never mix, just ask Star Wars. The original game was just about the space marines from Aliens meeting the Tyranids and Eldar from Warhammer 40K and seeing where things went from there.
3. People talk about how the Terran campaign is the best one, and they're right, but nothing in it actually matters. Half the campaign is about redeeming Kerrigan, who immediately reinfests herself in the next campaign, and the other half is about proving Mengsk is evil to his people, which is never brought up again in later campaigns, and everyone still acts like he's the legitimate ruler of the Terrans. It's all incredibly sloppily-written.
4. An entire campaign is dedicated to Kerrigan trying to kill Mengsk, and it's like... First, it feels like the queen of the Zerg should be able to kill him much more easily than she does, but more importantly, the idea that Kerrigan is so filled with vengeance over him betraying her years ago is so dumb, especially after she willingly infests herself again. Mengsk himself is a lot less charismatic than he was in the first game, now he's just a dime-a-dozen South American dictator. I do enjoy how that campaign ends with Kerrigan flying into the sky Poochie-style, though.
5. I was willing to work with the Protoss campaign, I was willing to give it some slack, but then the story ends with Kerrigan turning into an omnipotent giant fire angel (???) who shoots DBZ laser beams at Cthulhus. That's the canon ending of Starcraft.
6. I actually didn't mind some of the side characters, like Raynor's XO and the pink-haired mechanic girl, but most don't really stay around long enough to matter. The only ones who are around long enough to matter are Stukov and the Zerg genetic engineer, which, fine. I remember specifically that they hyped up this purple Protoss lady as a major new character, then she's in the game for five minutes, gets mind-controlled, and does nothing.
7. One thing I noticed, and this shocked me, is that SC2 really doesn't throw around retcons for the first game like WoW does for WC3. I don't know what to make of that.

Wings of Liberty: 5/10
Heart of the Swarm: 2/10
Legacy of the Void: 4/10
Overall: 4/10
I'm probably being a little generous to the Protoss campaign, but it's okay.

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azuarc posted...

Finally got caught up on Anagram's fanfic. There were no updates for a little while, so I finally just stopped checking it. Remembered a day or two ago and there were three new chapters. =x

I keep reading over my own work but not making any progress with it.

I'm actually a little surprised I've kept going as long as I have. How many words do you have so far?

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Pink Metal Peach

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I never played the XIII sequels, but don't they end with Lightning traveling to the real world and moving to France or something?

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Sceptilesolar posted...

Dionysus, really? I'm not giving any props to a cult leader god of insanity, no thanks.

I didn't say he's good, just that he's the second best. He wins points for not being a horrible rapist and murderer.

_stingers_ posted...

Also blonde hair is the best hair, good man

Snake5555555555 posted...

To be perfectly honest I actually think blonde is the best too.

Men of culture.

Leonhart4 posted...

Brunette forever

Brown hair, really? That has to be the least common favorite.

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Snake5555555555 posted...

Auburn of course

Auburn waifus wish.

_stingers_ posted...

Have all the categories had their #1 revealed? I haven't been paying that close attention to those

Christie Monteiro is #1 for attractiveness, Tae Takemi and and Chiaki Nanami are tied at #1 for girlfriendness, #1 personality is yet to be revealed.

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We're finally in the endgame here. The surviving waifus include an anti-bioterrorism activist, a random girl of no importance, a really good pianist, and two princesses. Of note: four of them are blonde, can you guess my favorite waifu hair color?

The Top Five
Claire Redfield
Fiora
Kaede Akamatasu
Sonia Nevermind
Zelda

The Waifus So Far
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19dm1bshy_1BMGiAgisHuuEjYupRxlf2jLu7AJtWAgmI/edit?usp=sharing

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Next Up: A waifu who's not the best friend

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Started: July 6, 2005

Whats really buoying Palutena up to near the top of the list, though, is the way shes written in Uprising. And those Smash codecs, I guess. In the original, Palutena is a complete noncharacter. Now, though? She jokes around, has fun, teases people, shows off her intelligence (not that she has much competition in her game for smartest character), and is just a really cool, pleasant person. I can imagine her personality not gelling for everyone, like not everyone is going to be as much a fan of 1980s video game references and stupid jokes as I am, but its my waifu list, so Palutena scores a lot of possibly unfair points based on the strength of her writing in 1/3rd of her appearances. Although I suspect this wont be a problem for anyone reading this. I suspect lol Im an omnipotent anime goddess who likes video games and ironic humor is probably well within Board 8s waifu demographics. I guess I just foresee zero like compatibility problems with Palutena as a person, which combined with her beauty rockets her up to the top ten.

What keeps her out of the top five, though, is obvious. Shes the only waifu left with a sub-70 score, and its because she is indeed an omnipotent super goddess worshipped by all the mortals everywhere. First of all, Im an edgy atheist who snuck out of synagogue literally every single time I could get away with it and got into trouble a lot with the rabbis and Hebrew school teachers, so right away Im going to encounter some problems here. And then you have the fact that Palutena gets kidnapped a lot. I dont know, she gets kidnapped at least twice, I assume shes kidnapped in the second game as well, but I never played it, correct me if Im wrong here. And Im counting mind controlled by aliens into shooting lasers at you as a kidnapping, sue me.

But even ignoring that, Palutena has basically all of the problems you could possibly have as a princess, but ratcheted up to the maximum possible, because she has one of the few jobs that ranks above princess. I guess from the perspective of Palutena, you are purely a trophy boyfriend. Is that okay with you? Then youll probably rank her Girlfriendness above a 65. Palutenas army is super unimpressive aside from Pit, but she still has an army and an entire floating kingdom or whatever. Im probably underranking her because Im not considering what its like to be, like, I dont know, Prince Phillip. Its probably really nice. Is Prince Phillip really the closest analogy I can come up with? Goddamn. Imagine having a waifu who has the maximum possible amount of power in literally every way, be it magic power, religious power, political power, etc. That's Palutena.

Anyway, we have three pages of Palutena analysis here, so Im going to stop. What we have here is a classic anime waifu designed to appeal to nerds, which is fine, combined with what if your girlfriend was not only omnipotent, but also the single most famous and recognizable person in the universe? And Ill just admit to you straight-up that the first part of that sentence makes a much stronger waifu case than the second.

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Started: July 6, 2005

6. Palutena

Series: Kid Icarus
Nominator: TheArkofTurus (0/4 remaining)
Personal Familiarity: Yes
Attractiveness: 94 (3/145 tie)
Personality: 86 (5/145)
Girlfriendness: 65 (49/145 tie)
Overall Waifu Score: 81.7
Hair: Green (0/7 remaining)
Eyes: Green (3/22 remaining)
Race: White (3/61 remaining)
Age: 20-29 (1/59 remaining)
Medium: Video Game (5/85 remaining)

Fun fact: Palutena sat at #1 on the list for about half the time this topic has existed. It wasnt until we got the literal princess portion of the list that I realized that Palutena was guilty of every problem the princesses had, but much, much worse. I said before that I think the ideal relationship wont have too much of a difference between the level of power and importance between each partner, which is why I docked points for a lot of princesses. Whats about princess? Queen. Whats above queen? I really cannot imagine any waifu more powerful, in every meaning of the word, than Palu I am a literal goddess Tena. The only thing she cant do is force Nintendo to translate her name properly into Japanese and then back into English. Shes supposed to be Athena. I told people that in Discord and they were like ohhhhh yeah okay that makes sense.

Little aside, though: Palutena is lucky that shes not Athena. Athena is the best or second best of the Greek gods (her only real competition is Dionysus dont start, Hades apologists), but shes still a huge piece of garbage. For every whoops I accidentally blinded a mortal, Ill give him magic powers as an apology story, she has a how dare you get raped in my temple, Ill turn you into a snake-haired lady story. Ill admit that the Arachne story is borderline for Athenas morality, though. Point is, Athena as a waifu would be way down there. I do not want to have to worry about offending my waifu and being turned into a monster or getting raped by Poseidon or something. Also, how do you think those gene tests would react to someone who jumped out of Zeus head? Does she just register as another Zeus? I have no idea.

By the way, yes, the hint was about Palutena spinning for her Smash taunt. I guess I thought that pole dance meme was more popular than it really was, I figured the only other possible spinning waifu was Fiora. My original hint was going to be a waifu with something in common with Red Bull, because she gives Pit wings, but I figured that was way too obvious.

This also almost goes without saying, but Im obviously using the Kid Icarus Uprising version of Palutena here. No one remembers the original version. By the way, the original Kid Icarus is one of the few games I ever emulated, got the second screen of, and then just went screw it. Vertical 2D platforming is something that basically never works. I cant think of a single good instance of it, and I can think of three. Kid Icarus, Flash Mans stage, and that one SMW level where you use the P-balloon. Apparently, there was also a second Kid Icarus game where she has black hair? Im going to call that as Palutenas brief goth phase.

So, lets start with the good. Palutenas obviously the prettiest of the waifus remaining. I ranked as number 3 overall, but shes not far from the two I put above her. I really like the modernized toga-dress thing she has going on, even if I dont understand why she has one leg in stockings and the other leg not. But, yeesh, socks with sandals is a big fashion faux pas, even I know that. She wears a ton of jewelry, though. That thing around her neck looks like it weighs a couple of pounds just on its own. I tried to look up if that necklace thing had any meaning, since it sort of looks like the sun, but the Wiki just describes it as a necklace, so I guess not. Im sure in real life that Palutenas mountain of fancy gold jewelry would jangle around and be super annoying all the time, but if were just judging her by her looks? Like, if in our minds, waifus are just perfect pure vessels of waifuness that are in ideal circumstances at all times, such as not being in a windy location despite living in the clouds where theres wind all the time? Its a really strong aesthetic for a waifu. And hell, we know from the Smash 4 trailer that she likes pushing out her butt, they made an entire anime cutscene where shes literally introduced pushing out her butt. God, remember when her Smash costume showing part of her thigh was a big deal?

You know, I planned to make some jokes about Palutenas Smash moveset being used in normal life, and how her magic powers would make for great waifuing, but honestly, Im struggling here. I guess Warp is kind of nice, probably makes it easy to move around when the floor is still wet or something, but this isnt even worth one point. The best option might be Lightweight, because then I can pick her up and pretend to be much stronger than I really am, but she lost all the custom moves in Ultimate, so I guess not. She cant even give me flying powers because thats specific to angels. Even worldwide telepathy isnt a big deal in a universe with cellphones. I guess she can walk out of giant glowing golden doors whenever she wants, which means its not a big deal if she loses a housekey? Im actually shocked here. Palutena has probably the most and the craziest magic powers of anyone on the list outside of Yuki Nagato and maybe Rosalina, and yet theyre incredibly weak for waifu purposes.


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Started: July 6, 2005

Tag

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I want to see the blitzbomb in full glorious HD.

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Fair enough, then.

I bought P4G on the steam sale, but havent played it yet. I guess Ill make sure to finish it before whatever new game comes out.

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Started: July 6, 2005

Ive never played P1 or P2, is it possible to remake them in the modern style?

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Started: July 6, 2005

Tag

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Mac Arrowny posted...

Post more of your Melia images imo

Sure.





And here's a webm GameFAQs won't let me upload directly:
https://streamable.com/435kw5

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_stingers_ posted...

that second picture cracked me up, thank you

Melia is so memeable, it's great.

colliding posted...

Your categories need adjusting if they lead you to a Fiora > Melia result. List is trash

They probably do lol

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I wonder if Vincent and Cid will join in the second or third game. If they join in the second, that would mean no new party members in the third.

I also wonder what Biggs and Jessie will do. They had to be kept alive for a reason.

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Mac Arrowny posted...

You forgot Melia's category scores.

Whoops! Fixed.

Leonhart4 posted...

she has to suffer more

She'll never suffer enough.

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Started: July 6, 2005

Next Up: A waifu who spins

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Started: July 6, 2005