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#34. Michael Dawson
<img src="http://abload.de/img/1400528522676zqsui.jpg">

Michael is one of a number of characters on LOST who seems to just make a series of bad decisions over and over, essentially gaining nothing. And once again, that highlights another major flaw in the show's writing, summed up by a single person, in that they clearly do not know how to end a storyline without simply killing off the character.

What is the point of Michael's entire arc? He bargains, betrays, and murders all to ensure that he can leave the Island with Walt--who then promptly doesn't want to see him anymore and is eventually committed to a mental institution. Great! Really glad we spent two seasons WAAAAALLLTing just to have one character in an asylum and the other blown up on a ship for whatever reason.

Outside of the general futility of his arc, Michael is also one of the most grating personalities on the show. He is constantly getting into other peoples' business, constantly whining and bitching, and is the most unpleasant character from an aesthetic point of view. Seriously, I really just hate the sound of his voice and his overall sweatiness--call me shallow, but that's how it is! Michael brings nothing of interest to the story beyond building the boat and killing off Ana Lucia, and his only saving grace is that he's not around for as many episodes as he could have been.

red sox 777 posted...

Bitcoin over $50,000. Cheers everyone!

Happy $50k day! Right on time :)

Ryu Hayabusa

Pretty crazy that like 11/12 responses have been different so far. Makes me wonder if the next Smash can get to 200 characters.

Crono.

This board would explode.

When will Coinbase have a fucking IPO date already?

I was going to save this for her write-up, but rewatching the show as a 32 year old and Juliet now takes the title of Hottest Chick on the Island for me.

My teenage self used to think it was Kate LOL

anyone have CCIV? if so, good for you!

mnkboy907 posted...

But I imagine TC just means characters around in the beginning who survived into the final season (well except Rose of course).

yeah, it was kind of just a throwaway grouping of the Oceanic characters who lasted from season 1-6

Pretty obvious spoilers: the top of the list is very male-centric

Chainlink is dipping if anyone wants to join me on my trip to the moon.

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Yeah, they were far more interested in ruining the characters they were all interested in!

That said, I'm really happy that Lindelof and Cuse have gone on, taking a lot of lessons from Lost, to create more quality programs that I frankly have loved every one.

They also went on to ruin the Alien series!

Underleveled posted...

Claire didn't appear in season 5 at all, so I think it's fair to call it a core 8.

Jack/Kate/Sawyer/Hurley/Sayid/Jin/Sun/Locke are the only characters to appear, credited with the main cast, for all six seasons.

That being said, if we include Claire as core, then we ought to include Charlie as well. Even though he died halfway through the show, he was just as important and prominent as those nine while he was alive.

Regardless, Kate is worse than all of them by a whole lot!

#35. Kate Austen
<img src="https://kathrynmoody.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/kate_austen_.jpg">

I guess this isn't so controversial after all.

Easily the worst of the core 8 (or 9, if you count Claire) characters, Kate is simultaneously poorly written and flatly reprehensible. Let's start off with the latter by listing a bunch of really shitty things that our "hero" does throughout the series:

• Routinely lies and deceives her friends to cover her ass
• Cuckolds Jack with Sawyer and Sawyer with Jack, homewrecks Jack's relationship with Juliet and attempts to do the same to Sawyer, breaks up with Jack when he's having a mental breakdown, general trollopness
• Gets a US Marshall killed for merely doing his job with no semblance of guilt or sympathy
• Marries a nice guy, then drugs him and runs away when he books their honeymoon (instead of just saying that she has a fear of flying or whatever)
• Steals Claire's baby to raise him as her own, despite being on trial facing life imprisonment
• Pretty much destroys everyone's life she touches more than anyone else sans Jack

So yeah, Kate absolutely sucks as a person. But looking at this even deeper, as many have already mentioned, Kate is also pitifully underwritten for someone we are supposed to be cheering on for six seasons. She serves as both a damsel in distress and a Mary Sue whenever the plot requires it (seriously, how/when did she become a fucking Krav Maga expert?). She is thrown into various romantic subplots as ways to build cheap tension and drama. And for whatever reason, she is the one sent on every expedition and important mission because I guess she is too empty of a character to just have sitting around talking to other people.

All of this, and Kate is still something like the #2 character in terms of screentime. Biscuit mentioned above that we are supposed to feel bad for her. But I am not sure that is the intention. I don't even know what the intention is...are we supposed to be rooting for her to finally leave the Island and be free at the end because she came to the Island as a captive? In either case, they utterly fail, as Kate is probably the least deserving of a happy ending out of anyone remaining on this list.

Kate sucks.

glad to see the shared hatred

up next: our first "major" character...not sure how controversial this will be!

#36. Ilana Verdansky
<img src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/00/Ilana_Verdansky.jpg">

Ilana is another one of those characters who sticks in my craw because of what she represents more than what she does. She is the perfect symbol for another huge flaw in the series, which you'll see as a recurring theme in these write-ups: needlessly wasted potential.

We're introduced to Ilana in season 5, seemingly too late to really have any meaningful character development, but the writers persisted anyway. After the unsurprising reveal that she actually knows more about the Island than she let on, we soon discover that she is essentially a bodyguard/protector of Jacob--the godlike, omniscient presence across several seasons by this point.

And that's where Ilana begins to enrage me. One would think that someone not only connected to Jacob outside the Island, but someone who is entrusted to protect him, would offer something interesting to the lore. Instead, we get nothing by way of background, character, or even a thematic revelation from her. She is just a plot device helping one set of characters get to another, with a passing reference to Jacob acting as a "father figure" to her. How? When? Why? These are questions that could have taken the character in so many places and could have perhaps even salvaged some of the weakest parts of seasons 5-6.

But no. The writers do nothing with Ilana. And then they explode her when she was done serving her purpose. Absolutely embarrassing trash writing.

SeabassDebeste posted...

ana lucia wasn't likable but she was clearly a better character than, say, kate. or boone. or shannon.

So the difference between Ana Lucia's badness and the badness of some of those you mention above is that Ana Lucia was the first of the new main characters. Kate, Boone, and Shannon were a part of LOST from the very beginning. Like them or not, at least they fit in to the universe--because they are the universe.

Ana Lucia talks and acts like she is from a completely different show and it nearly torpedoes the second season imo. She is a representation of what is perhaps the biggest issue with the series at large--the seemingly random changes in tone and genre across episodes. LOST is at its best a story about unrelated characters figuring out how and why their fates are intertwined. Ana Lucia instead acts like she is in a Predator reboot.

#37. Nikki Fernandez & Paulo
<img src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/bb/NikkiPaulo.jpg">

The first of only two sets of characters who will be ranked in pairs, for obvious reasons. Nikki and Paulo are the same story--both in terms of their Island arc, their flashbacks, and the interesting background of their real-life creation.

Nikki and Paulo were created in response to fan criticism that the show doesn't focus on enough of the other survivors--a very bizarre decision considering what we learn about the main characters in the later seasons. I don't know if it's because of the rushed, last-minute pressure on the writers, but it's hard to imagine more of an airball than these two.

Nikki and Paulo appear almost randomly, accompanying the characters we actually like on their mission, and it's really jarring. And not jarring in the uncanny way Ethan's presence was, or even jarringly amusing in a meta way like Arzt and Frogurt. The arbitrary addition of these two in those scenes kind of takes you out of the whole narrative, reminding you that this was a hit TV show on a Disney-owned station, and appeared to be the exact shoehorned response to these fan complaints that we suspected.

But then we get to Expos, perhaps one of the most pointless episodes in a season that was already dragging week after week. Their flashback is silly, uncompelling, and ultimately useless (other than a cute scene with Miles in season 6)--serving only to kill off these characters who were barely introduced. Truly one of the strangest decisions in a series of strange decisions, but thankfully it is limited to a select few episodes.

And now the most obvious bottom of the list is complete!

#38. Ana Lucia Cortez
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41g19LUei7L._AC_.jpg

Let me preface this with a little warning: part of me hates this show. Don't get me wrong, I also really love this show, but nothing else that I've invested this much time in has so many highs accompanied by so many lows. Accordingly, you'll find that I will be critiquing the majority of the characters, disliking about half the characters, and loathing a select few characters. And no one on here is more contemptible than Michelle Rodriguez's Ana Lucia Cortez.

At this point, hating Ana Lucia is probably trite--and maybe the fanbase has even come around on her a bit in recent years. How can one honestly rank her lower than, say, Paulo and Nikki, who have no meaningful purpose in the LOST universe and are by all accounts failed throwaways who just happened to get their own episode?

Well, here's my rationale. Every moment Ana Lucia is on screen, enjoyment is drained from the show. Michelle Rodriguez's performance is terrible. Her character is irritating and bullying, lacking chemistry with everyone else on the Island. She is consistently wrong in all of her instincts. And she remains probably the least sympathetic figure based on her flashbacks, which depict her as a literal psychopathic murderer.

It's long been rumored that Ana Lucia met her end because of her real-life DUI arrest, but I suspect that it was not a difficult decision for the LOST writers to kill her off. Her mere existent represents the first of many stumbling blocks in the show, effectively ruining the potential of the tail-end passengers as an opportunity to expand the cast. But, most importantly, her presence is simply off-tone with what had been built in season 1, and really brought down everyone who had the misfortune of being a part of her arc.

Ana Lucia is rightfully shamed as the worst main character on the show.

Alright, by popular demand, I have added Christian and Dr. Chang to the final list. That makes 38 characters in total:

Jack
Kate
Hurley
Sawyer
Locke
Sayid
Jin
Sun
Claire
Charlie
Ben
Juliet
Michael
Desmond
Man in Black
Miles
Walt
Shannon
Richard
Frank
Boone
Rose & Bernard
Ana Lucia
Daniel
Libby
Eko
Charlotte
Ilana
Penny
Eloise
Paulo & Nikki
Rousseau
Alex
Widmore
Keamy
Jacob
Dr. Chang
Christian

Aecioo posted...

I think it's a mistake to exclude Christian, but the rest of the people I'm indifferent on.

Christian is only Christian in the flashbacks though. I feel like I'd be compelled to include other recurring flashback characters then.

Hmm yeah I think I'm going to exclude Chang and those three. There's really no way to compare them to characters with proper backstories.

DeepsPraw posted...

I care more about Ethan, Tom and Mikhail than I do about Chang

Here's the thing. Ethan, Tom, and Mikhail are all basically just henchmen with no real arcs. The only one with a fleshed-out backstory is Ethan, and that was obviously just shoehorned in when they realized the actor was available in later seasons.

Dr. Chang has an arc, albeit a small one. Still debating including him, but Ethan, Tom, and Mikhail are hardly characters tbh.

I guess Dr. Chang technically has a flashback episode, sorta. How do you guys feel about him?

Characters I (tentatively) will be ranking
Jack
Kate
Hurley
Sawyer
Locke
Sayid
Jin
Sun
Claire
Charlie
Ben
Juliet
Michael
Desmond
Man in Black
Miles
Walt
Shannon
Richard
Frank
Boone
Rose & Bernard
Ana Lucia
Daniel
Libby
Eko
Charlotte
Ilana
Penny
Eloise
Paulo & Nikki
Rousseau
Alex
Widmore
Keamy
Jacob

Characters I will not be ranking (but you can convince me otherwise)
Anyone who is never on/around the Island (ie, flash exclusive characters)
Christian (technically will count as Man in Black when on the Island)
Dr. Chang
Tom
Cindy
Ethan
Mars
Naomi
Karl
Phil
Arzt
Mikhail
Zack & Emma
Bram
Anthony Cooper
Horace
Radzinsky
Roger
Minkowsky
Zoe
Frogurt

MAJOR UNMARKED SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Greetings, board 8. I recently rewatched LOST for the 10-year anniversary of the series finale, and I have some feelings about it. While I only caught the tail-end of the series as it was broadcast live week after week, it was definitely a different experience to be able to binge all six seasons. And this helped add some perspective and solidify some thoughts that had been lingering in my mind since I watched the finale with great disappointment in my college dorm 10 years ago.

I wanted to structure this retrospective as a character ranking topic, since the creators themselves have repeatedly said "this is a show about character relationships," so here goes. As I mentioned in the other topic, I do need to draw some lines as to who gets ranked and who doesn't, so here are a few rough ground rules:

1. Any character with a specific flashback/forward/sideways gets a write-up. No exceptions.
2. All supporting characters on this list must appear in the main story. That is, they need to be in or around the island during "present-day" events (whenever the present day happens to be).
3. Open to discussing if a side character is in the main story enough to warrant a write-up in the next few posts. Some folks will be borderline.
4. Anyone possessed by the Man in Black counts toward the Man in Black's ranking only. That means Locke's actions on the Island in Season 6 will not affect regular Locke's ranking, and so on.
5. Aaron and Vincent do not count as characters.
6. A few very select characters will get written up in pairs, since their stories are inextricably linked.

Next post: the characters I would include, ordered per how they appear on LOSTpedia. Let's debate this for a bit!

StealThisSheen posted...

I've noticed B8 really hates when people take steps to better themselves for some reason.

Haha yeah, this. Self-discipline is easily the #1 character trait you need for success--beyond intelligence, knowledge, etc.--and that angers a lot of people here who have much of the latter but none of the former.

God it was so good. Will pretty much be eating this three days in a row so leftover suggestions are welcome

Aecioo posted...

Biggest challenge?

Cooking it through without burning the pastry. If I were to do it again, I would probably cut the tenderloin in half first. But it came out wonderfully regardless, just took a lot of checking.

Also I am bad at scoring :(

Beef wellington beated.

God damn that was good but never ever doing that again

Underleveled posted...

IMO cut the supporting list off at Keamy, but swap Cindy out for Jacob.

Or just cut it off at Jacob.

Cindy is absolutely not rankable. Keamy is borderline and Jacob has a flashback episode.

Ilana has a flashback. Eloise is borderline imo. But I'll see what The People say.

Making a beef wellington SUCKS. Been doing this for 3.5 hours so far lol.

Snake5555555555 posted...

I feel like we could cut the list off at Mikhail, but that's just me. (maybe squeeze in Frogurt though)

Would sooner make the cut off rousseau tbqh

Underleveled posted...

So how are you going to determine which characters are included? Ranking just the main cast would leave out a ton of significant characters who never got credited as such, while including people like Nikki, Paulo and Boone who actually got credited with the main cast despite only being in a few episodes. But then it's like, where do you draw the line? Just let me know which characters are included before you start so I can organize my list accordingly.

I'm going to start the topic with a list to solicit feedback. Right now I'm thinking everyone with a flashback/forward/sideways plus a few select extras who are absolutely worthy of including (Libby, Frank, et al). Only characters who are present in the main story events too, perhaps.

Sunroof posted...

I disagree. Hes not risking $30k at all because its not going to stop to $0. In fact, he gained 10% on two days which is very good. We get spoiled with meme stocks but putting those aside, this was a great gain. Obviously, it could have gone south (and by that I mean a loss of like 10% max) but Im assuming Nanis picked a company he researched at least a little bit.

Do this 100 times in a year and you'll be lucky to make a 10% net gain at the end, whereas invest wisely 5 times and you can double your money. If he wants that day trading high then he should become an i-banker and play with institutional money instead.

Great, now gimme the second AA trilogy compilation plz

Risking $30k to make $3k (minus 35% after taxes) is pretty idiotic. That is like sports betting on a heavy favorite every week.

My advice would be to stop doing that and start picking companies you want to hold for an extended period of time.

andylt posted...

Yes! But only if Desmond is #1.

Vincent is #1

Underleveled posted...

Yes. I would probably fill in the blanks on my own list as you go along, if that's okay with you.

I just watched it for the first time this past summer, so I'm a pair of fresh eyes for ya.

Excellent, please do.

I really despise the final season/ending, so I'm looking forward to fans telling me why I'm wrong. I very much hate-love the show so I think my opinions are a little controversial.

I just finished a 10 year anniversary rewatch of the series and have some newfound feelings. No sense in just talking to myself though.

Does anyone still remember/care about this show?

It appears new users can't post pictures.

I guess I will just have to write a faulknerian passage about my wellington tomorrow

The steak looks fucking dope though

CaptainOfCrush posted...

Laying down atm

Bruhhhhhhhh

red sox 777 posted...

Apparently Coinbase is doing a direct listing. Hopefully this will get rid of the ridiculous first day surge.

We are in this together

skullbone posted...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rS6mZUo3fg

Lmfao

Chris what's your most valuable card?

Panthera posted...

Retiring younger always makes your PPG look good. Lemieux's first retirement came when he was at 2.005 PPG. After the same number of seasons played Gretzky was at 2.31 PPG. It's the same reason Mike Bossy has the best GPG of anyone (barring guys from the days when players were on the ice the whole game) and likely always will - he retired before the age where goal scorers almost universally have their production go down. For the sake of comparison, Lemieux was the second fastest player to reach 1000 career points. Wayne Gretzky of course did it fastest. Gretzky also went from 1000 to 2000, which no one else has even done, in fewer games that Lemieux went from 0 to 1000. So Gretzky is essentially the fastest *and* second fastest player to reach 1000 points, which is beyond ludicrous. Makes no sense to discredit him solely for being healthy enough to keep playing mostly full seasons as he aged which naturally lowered his PPG like it has for almost every single player in NHL history. There's also the fact that he won more awards, led the league in scoring more often, scored more at even strength than on the powerplay relatively than Lemieux did, played way more games, won his last scoring title at roughly the same age Lemieux did anyway, was even better in the playoffs (not a small achievement given the competition), etc.

Destroyed.

Baseball is probably the easiest GOAT conversation to have because we have so many adjusted measurements to cross compare players. Babe Ruth tops nearly all of those metrics, so he wins.

Gretzky and Jordan pass the gut check--watch either of them play, especially in moments that matter, and it's pretty clear where they stand. And both have the stats to support (especially gretzky, whose numbers are ludicrous).

Tom Brady, as discussed, has undoubtedly had the best career but also one that most benefitted from situation. Arguments can be made either way.

Don't know anything about soccer so whatever.

5/5

Xiahou Shake posted...

Learn to dump your games if this is a concern. It's the one road to true preservation.

Isn't that what I'm saying though? Dump them on an SD?