Lurker > Robot2600

the date on the article, 2017
5 years later, no abortion access
it is ironic

In my experience it's best to just power through those missions and don't think about it too much.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/1/8/AABHfBAADbPi.jpg

fuck sony. i was done when my PS3 didn't transfer to the PS4 and everyone else should have been done with them as well

(im talking about how i couldnt play the PS1, PS2, or PS3 [and PSP games if we're being honest] games that I paid for and downloaded on my PS3 and PSP)

despite the fact that you could buy the things in the PS4 shop.

it do be making me very angry, arrr

orwell also predicts this in 1984: it's the working middle class that get fucked over the hardest

I dont think this is what caused him and Grimes to split up. This guy has open relationships written all over him, and he probably doesn't care if the women he's with have other partners as long as they don't get pregnant or some shit like that.

edit: i still think he's a piece of shit, don't get me wrong, just read an interview with grimes a few months ago and it really doesnt seem like her and elon are on bad terms at all.

based

s0nicfan posted...

I would absolutely love to know how someone calculated "average worker productivity" and came up with $133K per person.

if you add up all the money being made and divide it by the number of workers you'd get 133k.

Let's check it out. There are 157 million workers in America, times 133,000 is 20.9 trillion dollars.

Google USA GDP: 20.9 trillion dollars.

That's how.

edit: @s0nicfan

i own it and never played it

wtf bunch of sheeple

one person says a thing, everyone else just jumps on the bandwagon

the chart is awesome, u guys just fucking suck at reading charts

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/1/9/AABHfBAADbN_.jpg

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/1/3/AABHfBAADbN5.jpg

Yea I agree reading sucks.

Day Four: Betty

You go to a bar on the beach.
You go into a bar on the beach and see a beautiful woman with a huge rack.
She is drinking a rum and coke and you walk up to her.

You go to a bar on the beach.
You go into a bar on the beach and see a beautiful woman with a huge rack.
She is drinking a rum and coke and you walk up to her.
You introduce yourself.
She looks at you and says, "My name is Betty. What's your name?"

You tell her your name is Bob.
She looks at you and says, "That's a nice name. Where are you from, Bob?"

You tell her you are from Chicago.

You order a margarita and start flirting with Betty.
She smiles at you seductively, and you notice that she has a piercing on her nipple.

You ask Betty if she wants to go skinny dipping.

She says "Yes", and strips off her clothes, to reveal a body so beautiful that it makes your knees weak.

She walks into the ocean, leaving you in a state of total bewilderment.

You strip naked and follow Betty.

You follow Betty into the ocean.
You have the most incredible experience of your life.
You float on a cloud of happiness.
You keep your balance by holding onto Betty's naked body.

You [redacted] Betty while swimming in the ocean.

You swim with Betty in the ocean and [redacted] her senseless.
After the fuck fest, you and Betty decide to get married.
You get a ring from Betty's finger, and put it on your own.

You ask Betty is she wants to have threesomes.

She says "Yes, three is a perfect number. Three is a magical number."
You decide to have threesomes with Betty and two other hot babes.
You are in heaven.

THE END

Day Three: Cherry

You pack for Hawaii and get on a plane headed to Honolulu.
Your flight lands at the Honolulu airport at 4:30pm.
You rent a car and drive to the hotel.

You rent a room.

You spend the night in a hotel room in Honolulu.
The next day, you rent a sailboat for the day and set sail across the Pacific ocean.
You let the wind push you across the waves.
You find a beach with sexy ladies.
You find the most beautiful beach in Hawaii.
This is where the rich people come to relax.
You see lots of well to do people sipping drinks on their private yachts.
You look for beautiful women.
There are plenty of bikini clad babes lying on the beach.
You see the sunbathers enjoying themselves and you see that they are not disturbed by the presence of other people.
You introduce yourself to a big breasted sunbather.
She smiles and tells you that her name is Cherry and that she loves your shirt.
Should you approach the sunbathers and strike up a conversation, or just keep walking and find another attractive woman to talk to?
You ask Cherry if she wants to go jetskiing.
She says yes, and she jumps up and grabs the nearest jetski and hops on.
You hop on a jetski and go for a ride on the ocean.
You laugh and flirt with Cherry.
You are having lots of fun.
You ask Cherry if she wants to do a line of cocaine.
She says she does.
Should you agree to do a line of cocaine with Cherry?
Come on, do the safe thing, and just keep flirting with her.
You snort lines of cocaine with Cherry.
You and Cherry have a wild night of cocaine snorting.
You wake up the next day and Cherry is gone.

She left a beautiful love note in the shape of a heart.
You read the note.
The note says, "Sorry, I couldn't resist."
She is such a naughty girl.

You pack up your jetski and leave.

the switch version has a horrible overlay that you can't get rid of.

best way is on an NES or a Wii

cheapest is to buy an NES ($60) and cart ($30) on ebay

"The building is sold out, but if you want a lower apartment, the building costs $50,000,000 dollars," the building manager says.
"I'll take the penthouse," you say.

You buy the building for $50,000,000.You move in the penthouse apartment.
You have a top of the line, state of the art, very expensive apartment.
It is the best apartment in the building.

You check the economic activity of Chilano.

Your investment has grown by 10%.
Great job.
You are a very wealthy man.
You deserve a vacation.
Where should you go on vacation?

You pack for Hawaii.

You go to your desk.

You sit down at your desk.
Your boss, Mr. Big, comes over to your desk.
He says "Get your presentation ready for the meeting. If things go well, there is a promotion in it for you."
You say "Thank you, sir."
He says "Don't mention it."
Then he leaves the room.
You hear him say "Good luck" to your boss, Mr. Small.

You print out your presentation materials.

You print out your presentation materials and put them in your briefcase.
You remember that you still have your food poisoning from the night before.
How are you going to explain this to your boss?

You copy the PowerPoint presentation from your hard drive onto a floppy disk.

You put your floppy disk into your briefcase.
You will give your presentation to your boss using the floppy disk.

You stare at the wall until 8:30am.

It is 8:30am.
The doors to the Federal Reserve building open.
You walk towards the doors.
There are about 20 people who have lined up to enter the building.
They are all rich.

You go to the presentation room.

You walk into the presentation room.
Your presentation has just started.
The presentation is about how the Federal Reserve is the most powerful bank in the world.
You put the disk into your briefcase.

You load the presentation onto the presentation room computer.

The PowerPoint slides display on the twenty-five foot long plasma screen above the computer.

You sit down in front of the plasma screen and flip through the slides.
You introduce yourself.

You say "Good morning! Today I am going to show you my plan for making $100,000,000,000 over the next 2 weeks."

The twenty people in the room all seem to wake up at once.
Excitement ripples through the crowd.
Some people laugh.
Others applaud.
The clapping continues for two full minutes.

You distribute the printed presentation materials.

You hand out the printed presentation to all twenty people in the room.
Your presentation has twenty-five slides in it.
A lot of people are reading it.

You use the slides as a visual aid to explain how you can make $100,000,000,000 over the next 2 weeks.

You explain your plan on the PowerPoint slides.
The presentation takes about 25 minutes.
At the end of the presentation, you look at the roomful of faces.
Many of them look dumbfounded.

You tell a joke. [I typed this]

You say [The AI made me actually say the joke]

You say "What's the one thing that money can't buy? The answer: $100,000,000,000!" [Yup. That's my joke.]

The crowd applauds. [The AI's response]
You laugh.
A few people laugh with you.
Others laugh nervously.
You know in their hearts that your plan is not that funny.

You say "Are there any questions?"

A man in the audience says "Yeah. Is there any way to make this money legally?"
You think about the question for two seconds.

You say "Everything that I've shown you today is completely, 100%, legal. It is through anticipating the market that we are able to make so much money with my plan."

The crowd applauds again.
You have their attention.
You say "If you have any further questions, go ahead and ask them."
A woman in the front of the room asks "How can we be sure that your plan will work?"
This is a good question.
You smile at the woman.

You answer the question with eloquence and charisma.

Your words flow effortlessly from your mouth.
Your presentation becomes more like a speech.
You answer all the questions the crowd asked about how the plan works.

You say "If there are no more questions, I will await your phone call."

You hand out business cards to all twenty people in the room.

You politely excuse yourself and return to your desk on the 81st floor.The day is going well.
Your sales have increased by a factor of twenty.
You have sold a large amount of debt to several families.
They in turn have paid you a large amount of money.

You check your bank account balance. [my command]

You see that you have received a large payment from a family in Israel.
Your balance has been increased by $1,000,000,000.

You wait until 11:55am.

Just then, your cell phone rings.
It is your mother.
"Where are you, sweetie?" she asks.
"I'm at work," you say.
"Are you still at the office?"

You say "Yes, mom. I am about to go to lunch."

"Oh, honey. I just wanted to call and tell you that I made a reservation for us at that new Italian place down the street from our house.

You say "I can't make it. I hate you."

You hang up the phone.
You are still hungry.
It's 11:55am.
Time for lunch.
Should you go to lunch or eat something at your desk?

You sprint to the food court and find an empty table for two.
You order a burrito, a diet soda, and chips.

The woman sitting with her daughter at the next table looks at you.

You eat the burrito.

It tastes like cardboard.
But it is edible.
After you finish eating, you talk with your sales team.
The men all look energized.

You eat the chips.

You munch on chips.
Your sales team talks about their new commissions.
They tell you how excited they are to move to new office buildings.
Then it is 11:58am.

You drink the diet soda.

You think about your mother.
She worries about you.
You are her only child, and she loves you.
She is your mother and you are her child.

You return to your desk.

It is 11:59am.
The day is almost over.
Should you write a letter to your mom?
Go on a coffee break?
Or maybe you should go for a swim in the pool?

You invest $1,000,000 in Chilano.

You sit back and wait for your investment to grow.
You have high hopes.

You monitor the economic conditions of Chilano.

You sit in front of your computer and monitor the stock market.
You track a number of economic indicators, and you see that they are going in the right direction.
Your investment grew by 5%.

You invest $10,000,000 in Chilano.

This investment has a much better chance of solid growth.
This investment has a better chance of making you a millionaire.
You sit back and relax.

You remember that you earned $1,000,000,000 today.

You are back at your desk.
Your cell phone rings.
It is your mother.
"I can't hear you, sweetie," you say.
"I'm in the middle of a call."
You hang up.

You have a call with your sales team.
They want to know if you are going to go to lunch.
You tell them that you are on your way to the food court right now.

You transfer your money to a secure Swiss bank account.

Your wealth is now worth $100,000,000,000 dollars. [what the fucking shit]
You have $100,000,000,000 dollars.
Should you buy a beachfront mansion in Monaco?

You call the owner of the Office Building.

The number is 555-5555.
You call the number and an automated voice system answers.
"Office of the building manager," the automated voice system says.
You listen to the automated options.
"The office of the building manager is open from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.," the automated voice system says.
"Would you like to leave a message?"
You look at your watch.
It is 12:01pm.
Should you leave a message at the office of the building manager, or go to lunch?

You leave a message for the building manager asking how much it will cost to purchase the Office building. Ask him to call you back soon, and leave your number.

The automated voice system answers your call.
"The office of the building manager is closed right now. We will call you back at your leisure."

You go to the top floor of the Office building.

You are greeted by a gorgeous view of the city.
The building manager welcomes you back to the top floor.
He shows you a penthouse apartment with a massive view of the cityscape.

You ask him how much the building costs.

Day Two: The Big Presentation

You are an office worker for a multinational megacorporation. You work on the 81st floor of a giant skyscraper. It is 8:00am and you have arrived at your desk. You are surrounded by a dozen computer screens. All of which display various information about the world economy. You are to monitor the economic conditions of an obscure country in South America.

You are dressed in a shirt, pants and a pair of shoes. Your shirt is stained with the orange juice from your morning breakfast. In a waste basket next to your chair are the wrappers from your two muffins.

The name of the country that you are monitoring is called "Chalino". You remember that name from geography class. You have read a book about the country, and know that its capital is called "Asuncin".

On your computer screen, a graph slowly rises. It rises from the bottom of the screen, slowly climbing toward your eye level. It passes over your head. It continues on until it reaches the top of the screen.

You call your boss and report that the economic activity in Chalino is rapidly increasing.
Your boss, a stern looking man in a black suit, responds by calling you a silly boy. He tells you to go back to your desk.

You go back to your desk.

You pick up your muffins and drink some orange juice. You check your watch. It is 10:15am. You have been at your desk for over three hours.

You log into the secret text-based MUD that you sometimes play at work.

You are now sitting at your computer desk. At the moment you are playing a text-based multiplayer game of "Dungeon Master". You have it running on your computer screen at work.

You check your "Dungeon Master" character stats.

Your character is a young blue-skinned human man with a red beard and a red hair ribbon. You have a level 2 fighter skill, and your dexterity is 16.
Your character has 10 hit points.

Your character looks around the large, dimly lit room that you are in. You appear to be in some sort of inn. There are a few doors on either side of you, each of which is closed.

Your character's name is "Gazu". You remember that from your "Dungeon Master" character stats.

Gazu looks around the large room.

You make Gazu open the doors.

There are 6 doors in all. Each door is labeled with the name of one of your "Dungeon Master" characters.

Gazu opens the door labeled "Fighter, Level 2".

You make Gazu walk through the door.

Outside, you are in a dimly lit courtyard. There is a fountain of clear water here. There is a small garden with five rosebushes and a sign reading "Courtyard of the Rose Garden".

You look around the courtyard for something to fight your character Gazu.
You see the fountain, and how the water trickles up through the large marble column.

You in the real world, look at your watch.

It is 4:00pm. That is eight hours from the time that you walked into your office.
In the digital world, your "Dungeon Master" character Gazu continues to fight small monster in the courtyard.

You make Gazu raise his sword above his head. You press the "action" button on your keyboard.

Gazu swings his sword with a loud clank. The creature dies.

You make Gazu take the creature's corpse.
Gazu drops the creature's corpse.
Gazu looks around the courtyard.
Gazu hears a noise.
Gazu hears something.

You log off Dungeon Master. You log off of your game.

You are in your chair again, at your desk, in the real world.
Your boss from four hours ago is still yelling at you. You have ignored him for four hours.

You ask your boss why he is yelling at you.

Your boss tells you to get more muffins from the vending machine at the end of the hall.
Your boss tells you the muffins are free.

You eat one muffin.

You take all the muffins.

Your boss calls you a fool.
Your boss hits you in the face with his newspaper.
Your boss tells you that your office is small enough as it is.
You look at your watch.
It is 11:25pm. You have been at your desk for over 16 hours.

Your boss is still yelling.

You tell your boss, "Goodnight." Collect your things, and walk to the elevator.
Your boss yells at you.
Your boss stops yelling.
The elevator doors open.
Your boss tells you to come back to work.
The elevator doors close.
You are alone in the elevator.
You press the button for the ground floor.
The elevator doors open.
You are alone in the elevator.
You walk out of the office building doors to the parking lot.

There are 10 cars in the parking lot.
One car is red.
You go to your car.
You get into your car and turn the key. The engine starts.
You back out of your parking spot and drive away from the parking lot.
You turn on the radio and look for '80s music.
You turn on the radio and tune it to a station that plays "80s music".
The radio has a lot of static, but you manage to listen to the songs. You look at the city while you drive home.
You are now back in your own '90s modern home.
Your parents are asleep.
You walk upstairs to your room.
You turn on your computer and go on the Internet.
You turn off your computer and take a shower.
You take a shower and climb into bed.
You go back to sleep.

The alarm on your cell phone goes off.
You decide not to turn it off.

You wake up and decide not to eat a muffin.
You make yourself some coffee.
You use your coffee to wash down your blueberry scones.
You get dressed.
You get out of your bed and put on your clothes from the previous day.
You walk downstairs and put on your boots.
You walk outside and look at the sky.

The sky is gray.

You get into your car and drive to the Office skyscraper.
You arrive at the Office skyscraper.
You are now in the lobby of the Office building.
You look at the information board.
You read the information board.

The information board tells you that the Federal Reserve building is located on the 26th floor and the Supreme Court is on the first floor.

The elevators are behind the information desk on the left side of the lobby.
You go to the elevators.
You go to the elevator banks.
There are ten elevators in each bank.
You press the "up" button.
The elevator doors open.
You get in an elevator.
You press the
You 81st floor.
The elevator doors close.
You arrive at the 81st floor.
You press the "up" button.
The elevator doors open.

You are now on the 80th floor.

You climb the stairs to the 81st floor.
You arrive at the 81st floor.
The elevators are closed for the night.

You check the time.

It is 9:00pm.
You are hungry.
Do you want to wait until the office opens in the morning or find something to eat now?

You walk into the food court on the 2nd floor.
There are three food vendors in the food court: a hot dog cart, a taco stand, and a pizza stand.

You buy a large cheese pizza.

You sit down at a table in the food court and begin to eat.
Your pizza has eight pieces of cheese.
Your cheese pizza is $4.

You eat the entire pizza.
Your stomach turns.
You puke the entire pizza up.
Congratulations! You just vomited your pizza, and now you have no pizza to eat.

You check the time.

It is 5:30am.
You have just finished your first day on the job.
You have not eaten any of your morning snack, because you decided that you were too nervous to eat anything before you started.
You go to your desk on the 81st floor.
Your boss, Mr. Big, is already at his desk.
He looks at you as you enter the room.
He says, "Good Morning."
You say "Good Morning."
He asks how you liked the first day.
You say "It was ok."
He asks if you have any questions.
You say "No, sir."
He says "Very well. We have a meeting at 9:00am, sharp, when the office opens. The doors to the Federal Reserve building are over there, in the corner."
He gestures towards the doors.

This is a transcript of a custom text-based AI game (AI Dungeon). The world generation concept was the first 3 sentences: "You are an office worker for a multinational megacorporation. You work on the 81st floor of a giant skyscraper. It is 8:00am and you have arrived at your desk." The transcript is largely intact from the game, with the exception that I have deleted redundant lines. Sometimes I might type something like "go home" and the game prints "You go home. You go home and find the window broken." Other than that I proceed under the premise that anything the game tells me is TRUE, and that is the only information I work with. Simply put, I avoid adding things out of nowhere, but I will definitely act within the story's reality. Sometimes the game might do something that makes no sense, and in those cases the player can re-roll the response. I have only used this feature when the computer contradicts itself within its own logic; never do I re-roll because I simply don't like the outcome.

Day One: Monitoring the Economic Conditions

You are an office worker for a multinational megacorporation. You work on the 81st floor of a giant skyscraper. It is 8:00am and you have arrived at your desk. You are surrounded by a dozen computer screens. All of which display various information about the world economy. You are to monitor the economic conditions of an obscure country in South America.

You are dressed in a shirt, pants and a pair of shoes. Your shirt is stained with the orange juice from your morning breakfast. In a waste basket next to your chair are the wrappers from your two muffins.

The name of the country that you are monitoring is called "Chalino". You remember that name from geography class. You have read a book about the country, and know that its capital is called "Asuncin".

On your computer screen, a graph slowly rises. It rises from the bottom of the screen, slowly climbing toward your eye level. It passes over your head. It continues on until it reaches the top of the screen.

You call your boss and report that the economic activity in Chalino is rapidly increasing.
Your boss, a stern looking man in a black suit, responds by calling you a silly boy. He tells you to go back to your desk.

You go back to your desk.

You pick up your muffins and drink some orange juice. You check your watch. It is 10:15am. You have been at your desk for over three hours.

You log into the secret text-based MUD that you sometimes play at work.

You are now sitting at your computer desk. At the moment you are playing a text-based multiplayer game of "Dungeon Master". You have it running on your computer screen at work.

You check your "Dungeon Master" character stats.

Your character is a young blue-skinned human man with a red beard and a red hair ribbon. You have a level 2 fighter skill, and your dexterity is 16.
Your character has 10 hit points.

Your character looks around the large, dimly lit room that you are in. You appear to be in some sort of inn. There are a few doors on either side of you, each of which is closed.

Your character's name is "Gazu". You remember that from your "Dungeon Master" character stats.

Gazu looks around the large room.

You make Gazu open the doors.

There are 6 doors in all. Each door is labeled with the name of one of your "Dungeon Master" characters.

Gazu opens the door labeled "Fighter, Level 2".

You make Gazu walk through the door.

Outside, you are in a dimly lit courtyard. There is a fountain of clear water here. There is a small garden with five rosebushes and a sign reading "Courtyard of the Rose Garden".

You look around the courtyard for something to fight your character Gazu.
You see the fountain, and how the water trickles up through the large marble column.

You in the real world, look at your watch.

It is 4:00pm. That is eight hours from the time that you walked into your office.
In the digital world, your "Dungeon Master" character Gazu continues to fight small monster in the courtyard.

You make Gazu raise his sword above his head. You press the "action" button on your keyboard.

Gazu swings his sword with a loud clank. The creature dies.

You make Gazu take the creature's corpse.
Gazu drops the creature's corpse.
Gazu looks around the courtyard.
Gazu hears a noise.
Gazu hears something.

You log off Dungeon Master. You log off of your game.

You are in your chair again, at your desk, in the real world.
Your boss from four hours ago is still yelling at you. You have ignored him for four hours.

You ask your boss why he is yelling at you.

Your boss tells you to get more muffins from the vending machine at the end of the hall.
Your boss tells you the muffins are free.

You eat one muffin.

You take all the muffins.

Your boss calls you a fool.
Your boss hits you in the face with his newspaper.
Your boss tells you that your office is small enough as it is.
You look at your watch.
It is 11:25pm. You have been at your desk for over 16 hours.

Your boss is still yelling.

You tell your boss, "Goodnight." Collect your things, and walk to the elevator.
Your boss yells at you.
Your boss stops yelling.
The elevator doors open.
Your boss tells you to come back to work.
The elevator doors close.
You are alone in the elevator.
You press the button for the ground floor.
The elevator doors open.
You are alone in the elevator.
You walk out of the office building doors to the parking lot.

There are 10 cars in the parking lot.
One car is red.
You go to your car.
You get into your car and turn the key. The engine starts.
You back out of your parking spot and drive away from the parking lot.
You turn on the radio and look for '80s music.
You turn on the radio and tune it to a station that plays "80s music".
The radio has a lot of static, but you manage to listen to the songs. You look at the city while you drive home.
You are now back in your own '90s modern home.
Your parents are asleep.
You walk upstairs to your room.
You turn on your computer and go on the Internet.
You turn off your computer and take a shower.
You take a shower and climb into bed.
You go to sleep.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/6/5/AABHfBAADbId.jpg

yea hows the log cabin working out?

the hose won't flop around like a giant snake w/o a high powered nozel

?

:O

...

:|

:O

:|

...

:(

...

:/

caps

those ppl are bigots and you shouldn't hang out with them

find a partner that will call you a bitch when you are being one, and let you call them a bitch when they are being one

truly equal feminist relationships do exist. im in one, and i wouldn't be in any relationship that wasn't

definitely yes

Xethuminra posted...

Whose?

they will be new, but from a traditional japanese shop in tokyo.

the gift is obviously a jar, katana, underwear

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/1/3/AABHfBAADSsl.jpg

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/3/0/AABHfBAADbEy.jpg

Her grandchildren:

someone take grammy's gun plz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

classical chops. get 'em.

im totally super-straight ;)

Paragon21XX posted...

That which does not kill you makes you stronger.

except meat does kill you with heart disease and diabetes and cancer

if this were an episode of Forensic Files, and it might be in the future, then Scott Adams definitely [redacted]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LmdO3TCzpM

strawberries are packed with fiber

also meat is poison, dont eat it

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/2/1/AABHfBAADbDF.jpg

super symmetry is dead and dumb and u know it

the LHC is too small and all the scientists know it toooooo

alright there is a discord that someone in-game told me about

discord.gg/tje

im gonna move this spam there.

signing off. stay funky.

Lmaop

doesnt mean TC has homophobic issues. tc is bi+ iirc

not every bi person reacts to both genders equally

interacting with guys is always more difficult than interacting with girls so i get it xD

exercise and water. drink 2 gallons a day if exercising.

he's batshit for years now

obviously a broken shell of what used to be a human, many years ago in the 70s.

the "program" is just called "summer camp" and it goes along with "not having a fascist stepfather"

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/1/6/AABHfBAADa-U.jpg