I've pretty much just broken down on my drive to work. A lot of tears and fear. How are you supposed to know how to do all this? I try to be as logical as I can be about it all but like... if they say yes tomorrow by like Friday I can be living my life without her.

I'm not saying life isn't worth it or anything like that. I have a wonderful job, friends, family. I have it all. I WILL be OK I just don't know how to do this.

I'm scared.