Tenlaar posted... I haven't spoken to either of my parents in years now because of their drinking. You did not get any say in who your father is and you have no obligation whatsoever to maintain a relationship with him. If he genuinely makes your life worse then I would say that you have an obligation to yourself to cut him out, especially since from what I've seen you post you have made a lot of progress dealing with some difficult things.
It seems like your parents lashing out at you has conditioned you to feel like the cause of their problems rather than a victim of them. That's dangerous thinking and something you should really try to watch for in yourself and correct when it's happening. You are not responsible for your parents' lives.
Thank you, I think youre right. I still blame myself for my moms death, but its gotten easier as Ive gotten older. Ill try to watch those thought patterns
Kisai posted... No it doesn't. It wasn't your fault that he started drinking, it wasn't your fault that he abused you, and it won't be your fault if he kills himself. It'll be his fault. His actions led him to this situation. If he didn't care about any of you guys back then, why would that change now? He's still acting selfishly. I don't see any, "How are my children doing, are you guys going okay? Are you safe?" it's, "Give me attention or I'll kill myself." If he doesn't care about you, you don't have to care about him.
Pretty much this. If he had said anything concerning us maybe Id be more willing to talk to him. Instead, all hes communicated over the last few months is how its not fair we dont talk to him. About how were really hurting him, etc.
Foppe posted... But whatever you do, it is not your fault. He is not your responsibility and you are not selfish.
Thank you
Tyranthraxus posted... It's not your fault. It's emotional blackmail and gaslighting to make you think it's your fault but it isn't. He's lying to you straight up. Don't fall for it.
Master_Bass posted... It's a common manipulation tactic. If you're really worried about him going through with it get him committed. That'll get him the help he needs, or teach him not to make such threats.
Jabodie posted... Tbh the fact that he said this is just another reason you shouldn't talk to him.
Turbam posted... He's trying to guilt trip you
Let the fucker be miserable, it's his own damn fault.
This is what it feels like tbh. The first thing my mind jumped to after reading that text was that hes just saying it to get our attention. He has a history of gaslighting. Maybe its the story of the boy who cried wolf, but its too late
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no