I'm a bit concerned about your attitude about it though. It seems there's a lot of "oh yeah we aren't going to break up over it, i'll just put her needs first if i have to, it's okay if i'm depressed for awhile" going through your head, which is a bit understandable considering you currently unhappy, but I don't see you engaging with all of the suggestions on how to improve your situation where you are.
Do you WANT to make this place a home? Or is the solution in your mind either to go home to Utah and be happy or stay here for your wife's happiness and you'll just have to put up with never fitting in?
Pretty much everybody in here has been saying "you need to get up and go put yourself out there and make some new friends. It will never happen if you don't make it happen."
Do you agree with this?
Yeah. I've probably been sabotaging a bit since I haven't made any effort to conform. I have a military buddy back in Utah that I talk to regularly, and he wants me to come back, so I've probably been using that as an excuse as well.
I can't really answer these questions yet.