Current Events > What keeps you going every day?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I am losing my sanity if I haven't done so already. My life is one giant prison Not a single inch of me wants to be here. I don't think I even get more than two minutes of lucidity per week.

Everything seems so far out of reach and impossible to grasp. What keeps you going? Why should I still bother? I can't escape my living situation any time soon. It's over. =/

Quite simply: because I have to.

I mean, I genuinely enjoy my life aside from when Im at work (the one hurdle I cant seem to conquer lol I never imagined that finding the kind of job that didnt make me so unhappy would be the most difficult thing).

So I gotta suck it up and deal with work BS every day to be able to do the things I enjoy.

That I am not dead yet. Other than that my family, for some reason they say they still want me around.

Genuinely enjoy my life, so, that helps, but whenever a trace of sadness starts to seep in, I just read melodramatic bullshit on gamefaqs. More misery in these topics than your average soap opera

At the moment, life is good for me, but it hasnt always been. Ive had times where Ive seriously contemplated ending things, but the thought that always stopped me was the idea that all the time that Im alive, theres a chance that things can get better. Life is potential, I guess, even if it feels shitty at the time.

Spite

This might sound silly, but its the little things for me.

I recently lost just about everything. My wife, my best friend and partner of ten years, died. I lost our home, and most of our possessions. I had to give up the pet she got me because I had no money and cant have pets where I moved. I lost my health the stress of losing my wife sent me to the ER, and two surgeons have told me that my health issue isnt even a diagnosable thing; my body is just trying to obliterate me, lmao. Anyway, Im getting surgery soon to deal with part of the issue, but its not curable and Ill likely have to get surgery on a yearly basis, as well as an excruciatingly painful additional procedure every so often. Just to keep me alive.

But I want to be alive. For some reason.

I was talking to my mom recently about how much I liked trees; fir trees in particular. The way they smell. Feel. How familiar they are. I cant imagine just... not being able to smell those again. And water I love drinking water so much, haha. Cold water on hot days. Taking warm baths. The smell of cut grass.

I can super relate to not wanting to live and not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. Its really, really hard. I dont know how the human brain does it, but sometimes we find something to cling onto and we just... go on.

Music, and moonlight, and love, and romance.

My goals is the only thing that keeps me going. I want to prove to myself that I can achieve them.

An extreme dosage of apathy about my own well being. I have no ambitions and most of my desires are fairly basic that are more or less fulfilled.

my pets

Fear of death

Unrealistic optimism