Current Events > The Onion stands with Israel because it seems like you get in less trouble

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Intro2Logic
10/13/23 12:45:50 PM
#1:


https://www.theonion.com/the-onion-stands-with-israel-because-it-seems-like-yo-1850922505

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Compsognathus
10/13/23 1:06:10 PM
#2:


A+ article.

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TheGoldenEel
10/13/23 1:20:39 PM
#3:


vintage onion

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C_Pain
10/13/23 1:23:41 PM
#4:


lmao that's a good one

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How quaint.
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Tyranthraxus
10/13/23 1:25:56 PM
#5:


We also wont be addressing Palestinians living in refugee camps without access to clean water, electricity, or housing. Others may ask, Isnt it your responsibility to provide context, particularly on thorny issues such as this one? To that, we merely say: No, shut up. Youre being annoying.

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Northlane
10/13/23 1:26:58 PM
#6:


Our stance becomes increasingly compelling when one considers some alternative scenarios. For instance, The Onion could theoretically say that it stands in solidarity with the bombing victims in Gaza. What would happen then? People would get mad at us. They could threaten our careers. How about if we said we believe the loss of innocent life is wrong no matter what the nationality? That would also result in people getting mad at us. Sometimes these would be different people getting mad, but that doesnt really change things on our end. And most significantly, it could hurt our quarterly revenue, which is the worst tragedy imaginable.

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hockeybub89
10/13/23 1:31:05 PM
#7:


People will look at this unironically and go "The Onion is defending Hamas!!!!"

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theAteam
10/13/23 1:31:51 PM
#8:


hockeybub89 posted...
People will look at this unironically and go "The Onion is defending Hamas!!!!"

Thats referred to as eating The Onion

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Tyranthraxus
10/13/23 1:32:34 PM
#9:


hockeybub89 posted...
People will look at this unironically and go "The Onion is defending Hamas!!!!"
They acknowledge that the current stance still causes trouble just less of it and from less important people lol.

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justaguy3492
10/13/23 1:33:19 PM
#10:


https://youtu.be/a0Pw_TxBe7w?si=rwFR0ZfIycwQnJhT

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Nok_Su_Kow
10/13/23 1:45:17 PM
#11:


Republicans love this horrible distraction from how awful they have been. So much so that Laura Ingraham said that all charges against Donald Trump should be dropped because "now we know who the real enemy is".
Like shit, it's all bad but damn some people are turning some opportunities from this. And whenever anyone talks about about how we got to this point to begin with, they're shut down and called a terrorist sympathizer.
And then you got Trump himself saying how dumb and egotistical BiBi is and how savvy the terrorists are and his supporters just eat it up. All of it is madness. Thats even before getting into how republicans are making the world less safe by blocking military positions and aid to our allies.
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cousinvini
10/13/23 1:46:36 PM
#12:


lmao at Ted Kaczynski's signature

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archizzy
10/13/23 1:52:45 PM
#13:


cousinvini posted...
lmao at Ted Kaczynski's signature

Nothing like sliding in the Unabombers name without a bunch of people even noticing.


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DuuuDe14
10/13/23 2:00:41 PM
#14:


justaguy3492 posted...
https://youtu.be/a0Pw_TxBe7w?si=rwFR0ZfIycwQnJhT

"Your silence is noted."

Gets me everytime.

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Revisited
10/13/23 2:10:47 PM
#15:


Compsognathus posted...
A+ article.
Yet I get modded for making a similar post on here, with only minor differences eg genocide/war crimes advocacy? What is this hypocrisy?
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A_Good_Boy
10/13/23 2:12:23 PM
#16:


Revisited posted...
Yet I get modded for making a similar post on here, with only minor differences eg genocide/war crimes advocacy? What is this hypocrisy?
Well you see, if you say it it's offensive but if you post an article saying the same exact thing then suddenly it's no longer offensive.

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Revisited
10/13/23 2:16:26 PM
#17:


justaguy3492 posted...
https://youtu.be/a0Pw_TxBe7w?si=rwFR0ZfIycwQnJhT
Agreed with this guy, I'm totally the victim here!!!

I love the old dude in the video lol. I'm so glad this overshadowed the other tragedy because those other memes were doing nothing for me.
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Funkydog
10/13/23 2:19:02 PM
#18:


The onion strikes gold yet again.

The cowards.

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Squall28
10/13/23 2:20:27 PM
#19:


They got balls for publishing that.

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ScazarMeltex
10/13/23 2:21:22 PM
#20:


Whoever wrote that shit needs a Pulitzer.

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Alucard188
10/13/23 2:21:34 PM
#21:


Revisited posted...
Yet I get modded for making a similar post on here, with only minor differences eg genocide/war crimes advocacy? What is this hypocrisy?

The level of comedic integrity to post a satirical piece about the global zeitgeist of Israel and Palestine, outlining all the nuanced issues on both sides of the argument, and simply declaring to take one side because it's self serving, is likely beyond your ability to do.

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FolkenRawr
10/13/23 2:24:46 PM
#22:


Alucard188 posted...
The level of comedic integrity to post a satirical piece about the global zeitgeist of Israel and Palestine, outlining all the nuanced issues on both sides of the argument, and simply declaring to take one side because it's self serving, is likely beyond your ability to do.

... Sheesh

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MarcoRubio
10/13/23 2:50:03 PM
#23:


Lol damn Alucard have mercy

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Prestoff
10/13/23 2:51:08 PM
#24:


Okay that's fucking hilarious...but also sad how true it is.

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Funkydog
10/13/23 3:18:47 PM
#25:


Alucard188 posted...
The level of comedic integrity to post a satirical piece about the global zeitgeist of Israel and Palestine, outlining all the nuanced issues on both sides of the argument, and simply declaring to take one side because it's self serving, is likely beyond your ability to do.
Sballen may as well close his account for him after that.

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Axiom
10/13/23 3:19:42 PM
#26:


Alucard188 posted...
The level of comedic integrity to post a satirical piece about the global zeitgeist of Israel and Palestine, outlining all the nuanced issues on both sides of the argument, and simply declaring to take one side because it's self serving, is likely beyond your ability to do.
@Revisited Are you alive
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ThyCorndog
10/13/23 3:22:34 PM
#27:


Intro2Logic posted...
https://www.theonion.com/the-onion-stands-with-israel-because-it-seems-like-yo-1850922505
Amazing

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NightRender
10/13/23 4:19:53 PM
#28:


justaguy3492 posted...
https://youtu.be/a0Pw_TxBe7w?si=rwFR0ZfIycwQnJhT

That video was running a little long, but the Palestein joke was

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Tyranthraxus
10/13/23 4:21:03 PM
#29:


NightRender posted...
That video was running a little long, but the Palestein joke was
There actually were Palestinian Jews during the Ottoman Empire. I don't know if any are left today.

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It says right here in Matthew 16:4 "Jesus doth not need a giant Mecha."
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indica
10/13/23 4:30:50 PM
#30:


Tyranthraxus posted...
There actually were Palestinian Jews during the Ottoman Empire. I don't know if any are left today.
They'd probably be dead by now

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ThyCorndog
10/13/23 6:41:40 PM
#31:


https://www.theonion.com/dying-gazans-criticized-for-not-using-last-words-to-con-1850925657

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hockeybub89
10/13/23 11:17:28 PM
#32:


Squall28 posted...
They got balls for publishing that.
The Onion has always had big balls. Literal joke news goes harder than mainstream media

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Ricemills
10/15/23 4:33:57 PM
#33:


Revisited posted...
Yet I get modded for making a similar post on here, with only minor differences eg genocide/war crimes advocacy? What is this hypocrisy?

Did you present it as comedy?
A lot of controversial things are more acceptable when wrapped in comedy. Especially in a form of satires.

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Trumble
10/15/23 4:44:28 PM
#34:


The problem is that mods are completely blind to satire unless it's basically spelled out for them or hosted on a well-known satire site like Onion or Babylon Bee.

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Irony
10/15/23 4:48:10 PM
#35:


Revisited posted...
Yet I get modded for making a similar post on here, with only minor differences eg genocide/war crimes advocacy? What is this hypocrisy?
Because joking about being on the side of genocide isn't worse than being against genocide or something

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AloneIBreak
10/15/23 4:53:36 PM
#36:


Quality Onion post.

ThyCorndog posted...
https://www.theonion.com/dying-gazans-criticized-for-not-using-last-words-to-con-1850925657

For example, instead of issuing a full-throated denunciation of the violent attacks by Hamas that have left over 1,300 Israelis dead, one dying woman holding her 6-year-old son who had just been killed in a bombing is said to have doubled down by telling her child she loved him.

Damn, the Onion is going hard and I love it.

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Hospy
10/15/23 5:37:48 PM
#37:


Some activist group went after the Onion for this one

https://www.theonion.com/idf-soldier-recounts-harrowing-heroic-war-story-of-kil-1826048745
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Kitt
10/15/23 5:46:32 PM
#38:


Beyond Based

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Trumble
10/15/23 5:48:17 PM
#39:


I wanted to make a satire article about Israel apologizing for accidentally hitting a legitimate military target, but I'm not gonna set up an entire ass site just to do it and you know mods would claim I meant it seriously if I posted here.

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Irony
10/15/23 5:49:04 PM
#40:


Trumble posted...
I wanted to make a satire article about Israel apologizing for accidentally hitting a legitimate military target, but I'm not gonna set up an entire ass site just to do it and you know mods would claim I meant it seriously if I posted here.
Send the idea to The Onion

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Trumble
10/15/23 5:51:03 PM
#41:


Irony posted...
Send the idea to The Onion
Doubt they'd even read it but worst that can happen is they indeed don't. Sent.

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Notti
10/18/23 5:07:47 AM
#42:


justaguy3492 posted...
https://youtu.be/a0Pw_TxBe7w?si=rwFR0ZfIycwQnJhT


I didn't even know she went back to porn.

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