Current Events > Wow, The Onion went hard with this one

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cousinvini 09/26/23 1:46:10 PM #1:	https://www.theonion.com/lauren-boebert-offers-to-personally-jerk-off-any-consti-1850865396 --- Come out and live with a community in a beautiful place out in the country <cite>cousinvini posted [p:976318024] in Wow, The O... [t:80577859]...</cite> <quote>https://www.theonion.com/lauren-boebert-offers-to-personally-jerk-off-any-consti-1850865396 </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
pikakaeru 09/26/23 1:47:08 PM #2:	heh lol --- Pikakaeru, use water gun! <cite>pikakaeru posted [p:976318040] in Wow, The O... [t:80577859]...</cite> <quote>heh lol </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
King_Rial 09/26/23 1:47:54 PM #3:	--- I use Google... A lot.... >______> <cite>King_Rial posted [p:976318048] in Wow, The O... [t:80577859]...</cite> <quote> </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
andel 09/26/23 1:55:42 PM #4:	WASHINGTONIn an effort to address voters hurt by recent actions that resulted in her being thrown out of a theatrical performance, Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) announced Friday that she would personally jerk off any constituents she offended. In the past week, Ive heard from many supporters who were concerned by my behavior in recently released footage, which is why Im offering to make things good between us by jacking you off, said Boebert, instructing supporters to contact her office with proof of Colorado residency and she would personally travel to their home to deliver an on-the-house tugjob. As a disclaimer, I will be wearing a latex glove and you need to wipe yourself off afterwards. Im not going to do that. Im serious about making amends, however, so feel free to rest your hand on my breasts, if necessary. Just know that this a one week only deal. So get in touch soon. At press time, Boebert also warned her constituents that she planned to vape the entire time. lmao --- I am thinking about just walking into the river now that Megaupload is gone and condoms are in porn.-Fubonis <cite>andel posted [p:976318176] in Wow, The O... [t:80577859]...</cite> <quote>WASHINGTONIn an effort to address voters hurt by recent actions that resulted in her being thrown out of a theatrical performance, Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) announced Friday that she would personally jerk off any constituents she offended. In the past week, Ive heard from many supporters who were concerned by my behavior in recently released footage, which is why Im offering to make things good between us by jacking you off, said Boebert, instructing supporters to contact her office with proof of Colorado residency and she would personally travel to their home to deliver an on-the-house tugjob. As a disclaimer, I will be wearing a latex glove and you need to wipe yourself off afterwards. Im not going to do that. Im serious about making amends, however, so feel free to rest your hand on my breasts, if necessary. Just know that this a one week only deal. So get in touch soon. At press time, Boebert also warned her constituents that she planned to vape the entire time.lmao </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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