Current Events > Should i tell my girlfriend i hang out with female friends sometimes?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Or just stay silent about this?

I work at a University (Finances-related staff job, nothing to do with teaching) and i happen to have a certain ammount of female friends who study there.

There are times when i come across one of them and we usually talk for a bit and sometimes we grab a Juice or an ice cream nearby if there is enough time. All my female friends know im in a relationship (4 years so far) and there is nothing else besides a common/nice friendship with them, some of them even have a boyfriend or partner themselves too.

My girl knows that i have these friends in Uni and she is ok with that, she is not a jealous person but im not sure if she may get the wrong idea if one day she suddenly finds out i used to hang out with College girl A or College girl B behind her back, even if we all we did was talking and having a juice or an ice cream.

The question might sound a bit stupid but i wanna make sure if this is something i should tell her no matter what or i could just stay silent about since its not that much of a big deal.

I'm not reading your first novel, but yes.

If she's not cool with it she needs to grow up.

If you aren't dicking them, what exactly is the issue with you having female friends?

Men with a gf who hang out with other women and vice versa will never not be sus.

You should be honest. I have a close female friend who I text a lot, go running with, and sometimes go to the bar with. She is actually one of my "groomsmen" at my upcoming wedding. But I tell my fiance about all of it.

Crimson_Corsair posted...

Men with a gf who hang out with other women and vice versa will never not be sus.

Shut up. This is one of the problems we have in our society.

yes, you should, for full transparency

having pretty platonic girl friends also keeps gfs on their toes

Crimson_Corsair posted...

Men with a gf who hang out with other women and vice versa will never not be sus.

this

you all would know this if you were ever in a long term relationship

xAzNPimP4LiFex posted...

this

you all would know this if you were ever in a long term relationship

I am in one. We just don't have a toxic relationship.

If they are really just friends then no but if you think your gf would have a problem with it then you should be honest about it. Shouldnt hide it

Crimson_Corsair posted...

Men with a gf who hang out with other women and vice versa will never not be sus.

that is a ridiculous statement and sounds like something a controlling person would say.

I4NRulez posted...

If they are really just friends then no but if you think your gf would have a problem with it then you should be honest about it. Shouldnt hide it

this. don't hide it, that just makes it look suspicious. don't bring it up in a sketch way either but no reason to hide this, normal people have friends of the opposite gender and it isn't and shouldn't be an issue

Its just not a good idea.

I kind of agree with someone who once said:

No matter how drunk i get ill never think its a good idea to smash my bros.....

andel posted...

that is a ridiculous statement and sounds like something a controlling person would say.

Yeah, i have friends who are women who i can see and there's nothing sexual or nefarious behind it.

If i told my gf i saw them today she would just be like "how are they doing?".

andel posted...

this. don't hide it, that just makes it look suspicious. don't bring it up in a sketch way either but no reason to hide this, normal people have friends of the opposite gender and it isn't and shouldn't be an issue

For me, it is as simple as bringing it up in our conversations about our day or what we are doing the next day.

Fiance: what'cha have going on tomorrow?

Me: Xxx and I are going for a run together in the morning

Fianc: Okay, tell her "hi" for me

There's nothing wrong with not telling her if it doesn't come up, but there's a difference between omitting the physical details of everybody who you're speaking to on a daily basis and actively hiding the fact that you're spending time with other women. If you're comfortable using he/him pronouns when describing the time you spend and the conversations you have with your male friends but when you're trying to do the same with your female friends and you suddenly need to switch it up to they/them pronouns then there's something wrong.

Lairen posted...

Its just not a good idea.

I kind of agree with someone who once said:

No matter how drunk i get ill never think its a good idea to smash my bros.....

I mean, maybe you should think of all of your friends as your friends first instead what genitalia you have so you won't try to fuck them when you're drunk.

Sure if you'd be fine with her doing the same thing. If not yea you should let her know.

You clearly don't want to bring it up, so here's a plan to help.

Hide it. Hide it as hard as you can. Then purposefully leave some clues around so that she can figure it out. It helps to be in control of the narrative. Leave some pictures of you and your gal pals in a photo booth on your dresser. Accidentally, text your gf that you can't wait to see her for lunch and then immediately respond with "wrong person". Then go into your phone and delete like 90% of a conversation out of your texts. Maybe rub up on your friend so you start smelling like her too.

Eventually she'll put together enough clues to see what a beautiful friendship you have and congratulate you appropriately.

I don't really understand the question or maybe just not the parameters of your relationship.

Like I don't tell my partner about every time I hang out with my female friends, but it's never conscious one way or the other. Do you live long distance or something? That's the only situation I can think of where it would "never come up" and feels like you're trying to hide something.

idk, I feel like if you just randomly mention it out of the blue that would seem more suspicious

Jiek_Fafn posted...

You clearly don't want to bring it up, so here's a plan to help.

Hide it. Hide it as hard as you can. Then purposefully leave some clues around so that she can figure it out. It helps to be in control of the narrative. Leave some pictures of you and your gal pals in a photo booth on your dresser. Accidentally, text your gf that you can't wait to see her for lunch and then immediately respond with "wrong person". Then go into your phone and delete like 90% of a conversation out of your texts. Maybe rub up on your friend so you start smelling like her too.

Eventually she'll put together enough clues to see what a beautiful friendship you have and congratulate you appropriately.

Gold Jerry, Gold!

I'm bi, so what am I supposed to do, not have any friends?

As others mentioned I'm also in a loooong term relationship, 15 years soon, just not toxic.

The reason, imo, that you all think it's sus is b/c y'all are cheaters and you can't imagine that other ppl arent as bad as u.

Genders fuckin fake get over urselves.