Board 8 > Board 8 Watches and Ranks Animated Movies 4 - The Results Topic

(+) Yeah! (+)

I will guess Strange World

I'm stunned Sita lasted that long.

THE HOUSE WINS! Everyone passed on the easy Sita money, and now I can start construction on a new casino.

Vegas Odds on #28:

+800 Yellow Submarine (1968)
+800 Early Man (2018)
+800 Sing 2 (2021)
+800 Vivo (2021)
+1000 The Hobbit (1977)
+1000 The Girl Without Hands (2016)
+1000 Birdboy: The Forgotten Children (2017)
+1000 Lightyear (2022)
+1000 Strange World (2022)
+1200 The House (2022)

+200 ANY UNLISTED MOVIE (+2000 if guessed correctly)

Vegas Leaderboard:
1) Johnbobb $700 (The Angry Birds Movie 700)
1) Evillordexdeath $700 (The Angry Birds Movie 700)

The House Won On:

• Sita Sings the Blues (+500)

Hmmm I'll actually jump onto The Hobbit

I'll take a gamble with DC League of Super Pets

Ah ah ah, not so fast. Put Girl no hands back off the chart, I want 2000

Wow I only had to wait one extra spot for the movie I had a hate boner for this time around to drop? This is already shaping up to be the best list I've been a part of!

Anyway, for some extra Sita hate, this was the movie that made me stop doing all the write ups. I had a word document that I forgot to save, my computer died, and in it was a two page long rambling rant about how much I hated this. I can't remember the greatest write-up I've ever done, so this is just a tribute (not really though I'm sure it was borderline incoherent).

Johnbobb and Invison already covered why this was so damn gross, but I literally muttered "no fucking way" when I Googled to find out who made this and pieced it all together.

This movie is like three different movies, and all the different parts are all bad. The least bad is what I would describe as "three people try to remember the Sita myth as best as they can". There is one joke, told repeatedly, through this entire part and that is "oops we don't remember this as well as we thought haha". Think Drunk History, but take out the drinking, take out the comedians and replace them with three people you overhear talking at Starbucks that aren't all that funny and you get this.

Also I might hate the blues now. I'm not positive I ever liked them all that much, but I think it was like the fifth song where I had to stop myself from yelling out "NOT ANOTHER GODDAMN SONG" and trying to uninstall Tubi from my PS5.

And, as Johnbobb so eloquently put it, fuck Nina Paley.

I'm gonna take the field because I have no idea what's next. Guess The Willoughbys for a specific movie even though I doubt that's right.

Suprak_the_Stud posted...

I can't remember the greatest write-up I've ever done

Terrifier. Definitely Terrifier. I loved that movie and still managed to laugh hard throughout your 10-paragraph-long beatdown.

Plasma: 29
Suprak: 30

The Plasma/Suprak bff alliance strikes again!

Mythiot posted...

Don't be embarrassed, the sequel is shockingly good. I honestly can't think of a more transformative jump in quality between franchise installments. Helps that they got Thurop Van Orman to direct it.

Yeah, I remember starting to half watch it and then actually sitting down and enjoying it and having a thought like "what has COVID quarantine done to my brain?!" Apparently I'm not alone though!

Wait, I thought of it. Angry Birds to Angry Birds 2 was almost like going from Suicide Squad to THE Suicide Squad.

From the sounds of things, it looks like I've just gotta check out Angry Birds 2, huh?

I went into AB1 with below-rock-bottom expectations and found it more enjoyable than several other movies I had watched around that time (I watched the movies in random order, so that's not a spoiler).

Shame that AB2 wasn't on this list, but I understand why Karo wanted to limit the number of sequels.

I would wager next list puts up more sequels.

28. Lightyear

Inviso: 12
Ermine: 20
Plasma: 20
Karo: 21
Red: 22
Evillord: 26
Johnbobb: 26
Mythiot: 27
Suprak: 27

Total: 201

Inviso: I still have eight movies left on this list, but it crazy to me that Lightyear is currently as high in my ranking as I have it. Its not that its badits just that the movie is kind of average, and doesnt really hit any of the high notes youd expect from Pixar. But then again, I feel like Pixar has kind of fallen into a bit of a rut in recent years, where theyre not pumping out as high-quality of films as they used to. Lightyear is an enjoyable film though. Im not the hugest fan of Buzz in the movie, because it takes a while for him to overcome the whole stubborn jackass who thinks hes the best ever and can do everything persona thats established in the opening. But once he kind of hits that obvious turning point, and especially once you get the twist villain, the movie gets stronger. Its just a shame how rapidly the climax of the film goes, because its a long journey to get there. At least Sox is adorable. Good catto. And the ragtag group of misfits Buzz teams up with serve their roles well in contrast to his wannabe badass attitude.

Ermine: This film is so incredibly lucky it had Sox the Cat in it because he is the only thing saving it from a bottom 5 placement. This unfunny, serious piece of garbage is what Andy grew up with and made Buzz Lightyear toys so popular? Give me a fucking break. This is just the next slap in the face to the Toy Story franchise and I'm sure Toy Story 5 will be another slap.
Every character, sans for Sox, is terrible and I hate them all. The story and PLOT TWIST is awful and I don't even want to bother thinking about it. What were they thinking?!

Plasma: No 90s kid would want a Buzz Lightyear action figure after watching this movie.
There are some interesting ideas here, like the rapid passage of time and Buzzs stubbornness causing him to fast-forward through his friends lives, but the execution here is dismal. I mustve checked the clock at least two-dozen times while watching this movie. It blows my mind that Pixar couldnt come up with a more charming cast of characters or a better sci-fi gag than sandwiches with bread in the middle. This whole movie felt like a generic cash-in.

Karo: As the greed of Disney executives goes to infinity and beyond, we get this spinoff movie of the Toy Story franchise starring Buzz Lightyear. No, not the Buzz that everyone knows and loves and who would actually give a damn about, but rather the in-universe inspiration for the toy.
I mean, is there literally anyone who watches Toy Story and says 'aw gee whiz, I wonder what the movie that Buzz Lightyear was a toy of is like and can I watch it?' Well, as the film's opening text states, 'this is that movie', so lets find out, shall we?
Missing in action is the trademark Pixar imagination and in its place is a standard sci-fi film with dreary and generic visual design. Even in Pixar's old movies when their animation was shit everything still felt vibrant and alive, here it barely feels like an animated movie.
There are certainly some bright spots, the story is solid, and the little robot cat thing steals every scene he is in.
I mean, I prefer this to trying to force a Toy Story 5 out of the ol' creative rectum, but apparently they are doing that anyway so what is even the fucking point of this.

Red: Toy Story was a franchise with a perfectly fine send off, after the third one. Then we got a 4th one, it also got a less good but also perfectly fine send off. Pixar has been trying to kill this series and yet still they insist on making more(And more after this one). No one wanted the live action film within a film of a way more cartoony more real life universe. I don't even know how to describe this, but no one asked for. This isn't even a particularly great children's story that would spawn a following among fictional kids. Conceptually this thing is already a mess. It would have been better as some sort of standalone concept instead of making it toy story. Hell if this were a film within a Toy Story universe, that Toy Story universe would end up with Sox merchandise plastered all over it. But no, we didn't think this shit through, we just wanted to try to profit off another Toy Story movie, except it wasn't a Toy Story movie. Amidst the mess of a franchise we have here is a slightly more heartfelt story with the messiness of solo one-way time travel. Again, maybe more interesting as a solo concept. But this is a franchise that Disney and Pixar just refuse to let die and they need to stop. Except they aren't because since we didn't like their attempt to be creative with reviving the series it just means what people actually wanted was Toy Story 5, right? Because Pixar definitely has never found success making original films.

Evillord: Man, what happened to Pixar? It's so insane to think this movie comes from the same studio as Ratatouille or The Incredibles. Hell even Luca feels like it's on a completely different level to this. The whole movie would be over in like 15 minutes if Buzz just learned the obvious lesson about trust the first time something that's ham-fistedly intended to teach it happens. I guess you can't say the plot twist is meaningless, it's a pretty in your face reiteration of the movie's lesson, but it's just kind of...lame. I appreciated the retro-futurism of Buzz having an AI loaded on a SNES cartridge, since this film is "supposed" to have been made in 1995, and there are a couple of half-decent space scenes with muted audio, but neither is used nearly often enough to create a consistently interesting sci-fi film. The opening section where Buzz is going through time dilation due to FTL travel and the rest of the world ages four years for every day he lives is the best part, it at least makes some use of a specific idea (though my friend who has seen Interstellar says they ripped it off from that movie). Once these parts are over it's just a clich team bonding film with the insufferable Marvel-esque Disney writing aesthetic where every line has to be a quip, though at least it's not nearly as bad as Strange Planet in this regard. That cat was kind of creepy and had a lot of sussy features.

Johnbobb: It was okay and entirely unnecessary. I have very little to say about it. It exists.

Mythiot: *no writeup submitted*

Suprak: *no writeup submitted*

Outlier:

Inviso: 27
Ermine: 25
Plasma: 24
Evillord: 22
Red: 16
Karo: 11
Johnbobb: 10
Mythiot: 9
Suprak: 6

Huh, somehow I thought that would be higher. Still bottom 10. But definitely didn't expect Bottom 3

Uhhhh I'll stay on the Hobbit

While I wish it wasn't bottom three, I'm not gonna leap up and defend Lightyear. This was a weak list overall to get it to 12th for me, not because it was some form of high cinema. Definitely makes me think Strange World is gonna wind up lower than I expected though.

Wow I did not expect that haha

Lightyear ended up on the higher end of its potential range for me so i'm not complaining.

Girl without Hands again because seriously people.

Ooh, another one I actually watched. Of the 15 I saw I ranked...

13. Lightyear
Heading to work now, writeup later

Yeah Lightyear was definitely one of the movies of all time. I realized after I submitted my writeups that it was odd I bitched about the plot twist after ranking Lego 2 so high last project, but I guess the difference is in the execution. I thought Lego 2 continued to examine the premises of the first one while Lightyear had no point and no charm.

I guess I shouldn't have second guessed myself so I'll keep Strange World as my Vegas pick

PrinceKaro posted...

No 90s kid would want a Buzz Lightyear action figure after watching this movie.

In all seriousness, even if this movie didn't bomb in its crappy in-universe, Buzz Lightyear is never taking off as a kids toy. That character is just never turning into the toy.

The weird meta-universe that they used to try to justify this movies existence makes no logical sense.

Lightyear dropping now makes me think Strange World is a good pick too yeah.

I'm actually going to go against the grain and say that, since Lightyear and Angry Birds both featured largely negative protagonists and got docked points for them, I'm going to go for an off-the-list movie as my Vegas prediction: Ne Zha.

HOUSE WINS AGAIN! I have a feeling that many casinos will be built in the coming weeks...

Vegas Odds on #27:

+700 Sing 2 (2021)
+850 Yellow Submarine (1968)
+850 Early Man (2018)
+850 Vivo (2021)
+1000 The Hobbit (1977)
+1000 The Girl Without Hands (2016)
+1000 Strange World (2022)
+1250 Birdboy: The Forgotten Children (2017)
+1250 The Willoughbys (2020)
+1250 The House (2022)

+200 ANY UNLISTED MOVIE (+2000 if guessed correctly)

Vegas Leaderboard:
1) Johnbobb $700 (The Angry Birds Movie 700)
1) Evillordexdeath $700 (The Angry Birds Movie 700)

The House Won On:

• Sita Sings the Blues (+500)
• Lightyear (+1000)

Where are my 200 points for the any unlisted movies, huh? Don't I get points just for guessing it?!

Nhe Za might be a good guess with a small chance of Strange World.

Zigzagoon posted...

Where are my 200 points for the any unlisted movies, huh? Don't I get points just for guessing it?!

Lightyear was listed at +1000

27. The Hobbit

Ermine: 15
Evillord: 16
Mythiot: 20
Suprak: 21
Inviso: 23
Karo: 24
Johnbobb: 24
Plasma: 24
Red: 27

Total: 194

Ermine: Wow the pacing of this is breakneck speed. We barely get time to enjoy or laugh at any single moment because within seconds we're fast-forwarded off to another one.
I did enjoy Gollum's design in this though, I liked that he looked more creatureish in this.
I dunno, I don't have too much to say about this one. It's fine. Has some funny and charming moments.

Evillord: This is the opposite end of the spectrum to Peter Jackson's adaptation. Instead of a bloated trilogy it's definitely a detrimentally stripped down version that almost feels like a synopsis of Tolkien's book rather than an adaptation. There is no introduction to Bilbo's life before his adventure or to any of the dwarves - they're out of the Shire within something like two minutes. Fantasy stories are almost entirely about the little details and escapades this film omits, so it barely feels like an adventure anymore when it's pared down this much. The best parts are the few scenes - Bilbo's encounters with Gollum (whose frog-like design in this version is a nice change of pace considering how the CGI Andy Serkis version of the character has dominated all visual depictions of him for the last two decades), and Smaug - that are actually given enough time to build and release tension. It mostly survives on the charm its old-fashioned animation and the fact it directly adapts the main source material bring to the table in an age where American animation is almost entirely poor-man's Pixar CGI and the LotR universe has been milked almost as ruthlessly as Star Wars.

Mythiot: *no writeup submitted*

Suprak: *no writeup submitted*

Inviso: I�d certainly HEARD of this movie before, largely in comparison to the bloated Peter Jackson Hobbit trilogy. This has defenders as the superior film, but I�m sorry, I just can�t agree. Don�t get me wrong�the live-action film really didn�t need to be THREE films long, and it got to the point where the overuse of CGI felt completely pointless and stupid�but at least it had enough time to be a MOVIE. Too much time, sure, but enough time all the same. This movie tries to cram an entire book�s worth of plot into a runtime less than an hour and a half. As a result, you wind up with just a series of action scenes that are rather disconnected and incohesive. The overall plot still exists, but it�s not necessarily served but what�s on the screen most of the time. Don�t get me wrong�those scenes COULD be kept in�if they served the plot and furthered the character development. But instead, you just have characters making choices, and then completely changing their choices with little rationale. It�s still a story though, and at least the plot moves from a beginning to an end, so that�s a positive?

Karo: The old hokey animated version of Tolkien's beloved tale of the ggggggreatest advennnntrrrre thhhat liiiies ahhhead that is famously parodied in one of the best episodes of South Park.
From a story standpoint this is a remarkably faithful adaptation, all things considered. Certainly moreso than Peter Jackson's bloated overblown travesty. The characters even sing all of Tolkien's poetry from the book throughout the film which is cute I guess.
It is kind of what you'd expect from a 1970s made-for-tv movie, the animation is extremely poor and there are commercial break transitions everywhere. The character designs are very weird and unpleasant, with everyone being a distorted mound of wrinkled and folded flesh that would feel more at home in a Lovecraft story rather than a Tolkien one.
Still, there is a whimsical charm to its cheapness, harkening back to a simpler time before the series got polluted by mainstream pop culture acceptance where if someone knew what a hobbit was you knew they were cool.

Johnbobb: for the entire runtime I could not get over how much more detailed bilbo's hands were than his face

Plasma: I read the book several years ago, and this movie seemed like a faithful adaptation. Too bad I found the book to be a suspenseless slog.

Red: There are some interesting tidbits here and there but for the most part this movie is old and quite rough to watch. The music feels very "old television special" in the worst of ways and few of the characters ever advance beyond annoying, rarely ever memorable. The best I could say of this is that I managed to watch it without falling asleep, something I could not say of the more recent modern Hobbit film, which I could argue as more of a borefest than this thing, which was definitely pretty boring.

Outlier:

Ermine: 37
Evillord: 33
Inviso: 31
Plasma: 27
Red: 16
Mythiot: 16
Karo: 14
Johnbobb: 13
Suprak: 12

Oh spot on alone as lowest ranker.

Wow this ranking does not much make me want to watch The Hobbit

Im not supposed to be outlier on this list guys

Girl without Hands again

PAYOUT TIME!! Johnbobb continues his NATM revenge tour with a big win and a cool $1000.

Vegas Odds on #26:

+600 Strange World (2022)
+750 Yellow Submarine (1968)
+750 Sing 2 (2021)
+750 Vivo (2021)
+1000 The Girl Without Hands (2016)
+1000 Birdboy: The Forgotten Children (2017)
+1000 Early Man (2018)
+1250 The Willoughbys (2020)
+1250 The House (2022)
+1250 Wendell and Wild (2022)

+200 ANY UNLISTED MOVIE (+2000 if guessed correctly)

Vegas Leaderboard:
1) Johnbobb $1700 (The Angry Birds Movie 700, The Hobbit 1000)
2) Evillordexdeath $700 (The Angry Birds Movie 700)

The House Won On:

• Sita Sings the Blues (+500)
• Lightyear (+1000)

Sticking with Ne Zha as my Vegas pick.

Yellow submarine

https://youtu.be/OjDxH_W3Mlk

Jb stop going with the easy picks. Be risky man

Fun fact: the Hobbit was the final movie on the list that didn't get a top 10 from someone.

Zigzagoon posted...

Jb stop going with the easy picks. Be risky man

I want Points!

Predicting girl without hands hits 20th at least

Sticking with Strange World

Funny how almost everyone brought up the Jackson Hobbit trilogy to call it bloated. I thought Hobbit would do a little better by being inoffensive.

Johnbobb posted...

I want Points!

Predicting girl without hands hits 20th at least

people should stop liking terrible movies!

Zigzagoon posted...

people should stop liking terrible movies!

got some bad news for you

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/5/7/AAS3NhAAEsph.png

Yeah, people give artsy movies passing grades because omg its different.

Different doesn't mean it's good.

There's an artsy movie on this list that is awesome so maybe the movie should have tried to be good, instead of, y'know, shit.

I just hate that people just give these things a pass because zomg different, adult and artsy!

zomg i can see their dicks and breasts! 10/10

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/6/6/AAblU3AAEspq.jpg

:thinking:

look they're not always right

but in most cases I'll at least give some credit for trying to do something unique or original

85% audience score with 2500+ reviews for Sita is wild though, I figured it'd at least be polarizing