Current Events > who would win in a fight between Putin and Dog the Bounty Hunter?

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/9/9/AAB02ZAAESgv.jpg
more: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2023/3/17/icc-issues-arrest-warrant-for-russias-putin-over-ukraine-crimes

Both are 70 years old. Dog is 5 ft 7 in (170 cm) Putin is 5 ft 6.5 (169 cm). A reminder that Putin is a black belt in Judo while Dog is adept at multiple forms of street combat and tactical skills.

Dog claims to be "retired" but I'm sure he will do this one last job for his country.

Round 1 (courtesy of ChatGPT)

Putin and Dog approach each other in the center of the ring. Putin assumes a defensive stance, while Dog takes a more aggressive stance.

Dog throws a quick jab at Putin, who sidesteps the attack and responds with a leg sweep. Dog manages to jump over the sweep and counters with a spinning kick.

Putin dodges the spinning kick and moves in closer to Dog, attempting to grapple. Dog responds by unleashing a barrage of punches and kicks, but Putin manages to block or evade most of them.

As Dog gets more aggressive, Putin finds an opening and executes a hip throw, slamming Dog to the ground. Putin quickly pins Dog, and the referee is just about to call for a submission when the timer bell rings! Putin wins the first round on points.

Dog has one of those bear sized pepper spray cans! He could probably spray all of Russia with that thing and easily get to puttin!

Round 2

As the second round begins, Dog reaches into their pocket and pulls out a can of pepper spray.
Dog charges forward with the pepper spray in one hand and a series of punches in the other. Putin tries to dodge the attacks, but the spray makes it difficult to see.
Dog lands a few hits, but Putin manages to grab the can of pepper spray and toss it away.
Despite the distraction, Putin uses their grappling skills to bring Dog down to the mat and tries to go for a submission hold, but Dog manages to break free and get back up.
The round ends with both fighters looking exhausted, but the judges score it in favor of Putin for their grappling skills and control.

It depends on if Dog manages to cast his prayer circle in time. With Beth out of the mix, the incantation might end up being incomplete.

Are there any windows or staircases nearby?

Round 3

Dog, feeling the pressure to win, comes out swinging aggressively.

However, Putin uses his superior footwork to dodge and counter Dog's attacks, landing several powerful strikes of his own.

Dog becomes visibly fatigued, and Putin takes advantage by performing another takedown and securing a dominant position on the ground.

Putin slings Dog over his shoulder and carries him up a flight of stairs only to throw him out a window! Dog is gasping for air and struggling to get up as Putin stalks towards him.

Then Dog spies his lost can of pepper spray and with every ounce of grit swings it around to spray a plume directly into the gaze of Putin. Disorientated Putin is unable to locate Dog who uses the time to cast a prayer circle. From the prayer circle emerges the spirits of his Ohana ancestors and they eviscerate Putin ending the match in a bloody fatality!

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/5/2/AAB02ZAAEShk.jpg

Putin. Dude was in the KBG. He probably could write the book "100 ways I can kill you easily"

Suddenly an General-Leytenant from the KBG (not to be confused with the KGB or Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti who officially ceased to exist on December 26, 1991) drives in on a BTR-MDM Rakushka assault carrier and strides forward.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/6/1/AAB02ZAAESht.jpg

The officer makes a motion and a swarm of drones emerge from the carrier which begin sweeping and vacuuming up the remains of Putin. Before anyone can protest the drones and officer hastily reboard the BTR-MDM and drive away. The officer can be heard yelling that "this isn't over!!!"

.. or is it.

Dog probably already eats polonium for breakfast, so Putin's go-to won't work this time.

Putin doesn't care about ratings, and would stick to off cam, so Dog would only be able to spam leak plays

Dog has the Lord on his side, and that's a tag team that can't be beat