Current Events > My coworkers smell so fucking bad

(+) Yeah! (+)

I don't know how it's possible, but some of my coworkers are constantly radiating this unbelievably disgusting odor 24/7 nonstop. It's not sweat. We are in an office environment, and there's no possible way it's perfume or cologne because nobody in their right mind would ever find this shit pleasant. Cow shit literally smells better.

They smell like a muddy swamp mixed with every detergent you can get from the grocery store combined with a slight hint of cyanide. How these people live with themselves is beyond me. Their noses are probably broken.

They can be 5 meters away from me and their stench will periodically hit me in the face, like an artillery salvo. They could be sitting far away from me and I will still periodically smell them even though they're not moving around. I don't know how this is physically possible, but it is. I'm guessing it's the ventilation system circulating the smell (my desk has a vent-thing directly on top in the ceiling).

When they walk past me, I hold my breath. Their stink will linger for minutes after they've passed and I would have to leave my desk and disappear for 5 minutes in another room before I can go back and resume my work.

I've stomached this for months now, thinking my nose would get fatigued and adjust, but it hasn't and I don't think it ever will, so I've moved myself to a corner without telling anybody, effectively downgrading my workstation with a large desk and 3 monitors to a tiny desk with just a laptop.

The middle management bitch have been coming up to me and asking "Oh, why are you sitting here now? Is there something wrong with your desk?" I tell them, "Just a change of scenery," but in my head, I KNOW they know why I switched spots, because this bitch is almost as smelly as my mud-swamp-detergent-with-a-pinch-of-cyanide colleagues. She wears a metric fuckload of perfume herself, most definitely to mask their smell with her own. It's an arms race of shit and perfume and I'm caught in the middle of it.

CE, do you think I would get in trouble if I told them they smelled FUCKING awful? Obviously I wouldn't phrase it that way if I do speak up, I don't think there's anyway to bring this up with anybody without getting me fired. What would you do in my situation?

nadesico posted...

The middle management bitch have been coming up to me and asking "Oh, why are you sitting here now? Is there something wrong with your desk?" I tell them, "Just a change of scenery,"

This is one of those scenarios where being honest would've been to your benefit.

Either let your coworkers know, or, if that's too confrontational, let HR department know.

lmao is this a copypasta?

Tagged as nabisco

Hornezz posted...

This is one of those scenarios where being honest would've been to your benefit.

Either let your coworkers know, or, if that's too confrontational, let HR department know.

I'm worried they'll brand me as a racist because the coworkers in question all belong to a certain ethnicity.

andel posted...

lmao is this a copypasta?

I wish.

nadesico posted...

I KNOW they know why I switched spots, because this bitch is almost as smelly as my mud-swamp-detergent-with-a-pinch-of-cyanide colleagues.

Did you have COVID before everyone around you started smelling disgusting? Changes in taste and smell are common and can be long-lasting with COVID. I can't really understand how several of your coworkers and an unrelated manager can all smell like fresh shit without anybody knowing. It just doesn't make sense.

Do you have poop stuck in your nostrils?

darkmaian23 posted...

Did you have COVID before everyone around you started smelling disgusting? Changes in taste and smell are common and can be long-lasting with COVID. I can't really understand how several of your coworkers and an unrelated manager can all smell like fresh shit without anybody knowing. It just doesn't make sense.

Never caught Covid. The middle manager herself doesn't smell like death, just excessive perfume, which is almost as unpleasant. Nearly half the office belongs to this smelly in-group so I don't think they can smell each other (or mind).

Monolith1676 posted...

Do you have poop stuck in your nostrils?

I wish. Poop smells better than these people.

If it's a group of people and no one else notices this about that group of people, then I'd have to say it's a "you" problem. Maybe get some aromatherapy stuff at your desk.

Yes, you would get in trouble if you tell your coworker they stink. Take it up to whoever your supervisor is. You also have to phrase this in a nice way because most people get offended by anything nowadays.

I find it odd a group of people share the same odor. One person yeah I can see it, but a whole group? Unless maybe they live together

Plot twist: the stinkpot is actually TC

TC is Kamala Harris

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/400-current-events/80361106

Talk to HR perhaps?

Nothings worse than people who dont wash themselves or their clothes properly.

nadesico posted...

I'm worried they'll brand me as a racist because the coworkers in question all belong to a certain ethnicity.

Are we all just missing this part where TC lifts their mask slightly and winks at us?

TMOG posted...

Are we all just missing this part where TC lifts their mask slightly and winks at us?

Oh shit