Current Events > Hambo's Elden Ring chronicles (progressive spoilers)

(+) Yeah! (+)

Hambo posted...

Ohhh, okay. Guess I misread the tutorial pop-up just now. I thought it said Rune Arcs increase the power of the rune, not activate it in the first place

No, I'm pretty sure that's what it says because you were not the first one to believe that. I myself figured that the Great Runes would have a constant passive effect (like Godrick's would be +1 to all stats), but a Rune Arc would make it stronger.

This game has me paranoid about every turn lol. There are so many little stinkers hiding around corners in dungeons. Every time I see a dung beetle, I assume it's just bait to lead me into a swarm of enemies. I creep around the walls of every wide open room until I find what's waiting to jump out at me.

Also I keep trying to check under every elevator for hidden treasure. I blame OoT's Water Temple for that. Instead it seems like most elevator secrets are ones where you hafta jump off during the ride and pray that you land on the platform.

this is 100% the right attitude. you'll be fine my dude.

I get that the stored inputs are meant to punish you for panic mashing and they're supposed to encourage you to make each move deliberately. Like, I don't like it, but I get it. I might like it more if the game would stop fucking ignoring when I press the button once. I keep jumping like I'm gonna jump attack and then just land there pointlessly like an idiot. >:[

Ya know what? I'm just gonna say it: I don't like those snails. Fantasy snails are usually somewhere between cute and mysticool. These ones are snakes. Snakes are scary and bad and I hate these things.

You know Rays Lucaria was a really cool place, felt like a run down Hogwarts. Id be interested to see if modders could combine it with Hogwarts legacy.

Ahhhh! Here I am, minding my own business defiling a grave, when this absolutely hellish abomination with simply too many arms pops up out of some portal in the ground and murders me for no reason. I was so deep in the tomb, too. :[

Those guys are fun, and scary. Smh in the good ol days you could defile entire cemeteries/crypts before someone would bother you.

MJOLNRVII posted...

Those guys are fun, and scary. Smh in the good ol days you could defile entire cemeteries/crypts before someone would bother you.

Fr tho. Ever since the dead started rising, everything's really gone downhill. Also the same thing killed me again, dammit. It sucks cuz I already killed one near the start of the dungeon but this one five miles down is destroying me and forcing me to redo the whole thing.

MJOLNRVII posted...

Those guys are fun

I don't know you or your life, but I know for goddamn sure that this is the biggest lie you've ever told. Royal Revenants are the most ass enemy in the entire game.

pegusus123456 posted...

I don't know you or your life, but I know for goddamn sure that this is the biggest lie you've ever told. Royal Revenants are the most ass enemy in the entire game.

Thank you for this validation. I did not enjoy this thing's company at all. Also apparently it respawns without even resting or dying?

That dungeon was mean. The revenants, the imp mob, the big axe knight that you hafta lure halfway across the dungeon to the light that weakens the shadows. At first I just lured axe man out of the room, assuming he was guarding a lever that opened the door to the boss room like in most of the catacombs. Then on my way back to try to find the lever, another flippin revenant spawned and I just ran for my wimpy little life. Then I realized there was no lever and I was gonna hafta actually deal with axe man. I think if I'd died to him after getting him in the light, I woulda just smashed the ps4 and called it good.

But I made it! And now I can summon Dragon Knight Kristoff in an unexpected Frozen collab. Well, I could if I'd ever increased my FP. Whatever, I have his incinerated corpse and that's all that matters.

Oh, that dungeon. It doesn't respawn, that hallways just has ones that spawn in weird ways to fuck ith you.

If you like, there is a tip to utterly trivialize them. One of the merchants sells the info.

What if I want some conservative spoilers!?

pegusus123456 posted...

Oh, that dungeon. It doesn't respawn, that hallways just has ones that spawn in weird ways to fuck ith you.

If you like, there is a tip to utterly trivialize them. One of the merchants sells the info.

I definitely killed one, then upon coming back to the same room, another one appeared. Are there just two that spawn there but not simultaneously? And I guess I should check out more of the merchants' tips. I'm probably missing a bunch of neat hints.

Hambo posted...

I definitely killed one, then upon coming back to the same room, another one appeared. Are there just two that spawn there but not simultaneously?

I think so, yes. If not, that's the only one in the entire game that respawns like that.

And yeah, the merchant tips are really helpful, particularly if you're playing with messages turned off.

Supersex420 posted...

What if I want some conservative spoilers!?

Absolutely not. These spoilers are strictly progressive. Their politics are eight hundred years ahead of their time. Their hair is bluer than you can possibly imagine.

pegusus123456 posted...

I don't know you or your life, but I know for goddamn sure that this is the biggest lie you've ever told. Royal Revenants are the most ass enemy in the entire game.

Lmao. I agree with your post for the most part, but they're very memorable enemies for me. At least in terms of "regular" enemies. I still daydream of their teleportation and all around craziness.

Hambo posted...

Absolutely not. These spoilers are strictly progressive. Their politics are eight hundred years ahead of their time. Their hair is bluer than you can possibly imagine.

Unacceptable. Elden Ring should be cooked and ready when I get home from my conservative job.

Yoooo! I got to see Wolf Husband again! He's uh...he's doing fine. Totally normal situation honestly. Not like cursed or trapped in any sort of pocket dimension.

I've made it to the big city. If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere. First stop was the mine cuz I want more of them gosh darned smithing stones and the bell bearings for them. It was full of fake walls and at one point I ran out of walls to smash and thought my only hope was to figure out how to interact with those glowy statues scattered around the world. Fortunately I eventually noticed there was a hole to drop down in one room and I made it through. I didn't get the bell bearing I wanted, but I got one of them, so good enough.

The really good smithing bell bearings aren't until, like near the end of the game. I'm sorry.

wanderingshade posted...

The really good smithing bell bearings aren't until, like near the end of the game. I'm sorry.

But I want them nooooowww. Oh well. I'm bonking things pretty good already. I guess I'm just the type of guy who's always greedy for the next upgrade. Like you're telling me this hammer could be bonking harder and it isn't? Unacceptable.

At last! I have the strength to carry this giant ass hammer.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/8/3/1/AADHstAAEKzf.jpg
I just can't wear any good armor at the same time. Time to level endurance. :|

And no I'm not going to learn to properly export images from the ps4. I'm not downloading their stupid app.

You have unlocked [Prelate's Charge]

wanderingshade posted...

You have unlocked [Prelate's Charge]

Hell yeah! It's like using a roller in Splatoon, except it's fiery and hellish.

Hambo posted...

Hell yeah! It's like using a roller in Splatoon, except it's fiery and hellish.

Prelates Charge, Great Stars, Bloodflame Blade ahh

I just spent like two hours cycling the Impassable Bridge trying to get the Redmane Knight Armor. The Godrick Knight Armor was my go-to for physical defense, but the orange and green pattern is ugly as sin. I got like three of the dude's shield and two pairs each of his gloves and boots before he finally coughed up the shirt. A neat little bonus is that now Zango McGee is all decked out in red and whitish, just like his namesake Zangoose. :3
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/8/6/AADHstAAEK16.jpg

Windmill grannies are not my favorite grannies. Probably not even in the top ten to be honest.

Hambo posted...

Windmill grannies are not my favorite grannies. Probably not even in the top ten to be honest.

They just want your skin

i farmed them for like an hour yesterday for their cute little flower crown.

pegusus123456 posted...

They just want your skin

Yeah but like...they could ask? Instead they just act all cool and inviting and then as soon as their pet dog or flaming skeleton decides it doesn't like your vibe, they suddenly pounce and act all entitled to your hide. Like, dude, I'm still fucking using it. Jeez.

Fluttershy posted...

i farmed them for like an hour yesterday for their cute little flower crown.

YOU CAN GET THEIR CUTE LITTLE FLOWER CROWNS?! Torrent, we're going back to windmill hell. It's granny hunting season.

If you're at the spot with the flaming skeletons, there's a better farming spot than that if you're interested in knowing.

pegusus123456 posted...

If you're at the spot with the flaming skeletons, there's a better farming spot than that if you're interested in knowing.

Is it the larger windmill village? I visited the two separate windmills and then the village with the boss at the top. Seems like there are more horrible grannies there.

Yeah, that's the one I was talking about. More grannies per square inch.

pegusus123456 posted...

Yeah, that's the one I was talking about. More grannies per square inch.

XD For peak efficiency you really wanna maximize the granny density.

Also is the flower crown in question the Festive Hood? Cuz I got one of those in my first trip in, but the hood being attached makes it less cute.

Oh, yes, you or Boc can alter it.

There are two of them though, the blue one can't be altered.

it really comes out more as a severely hippie headband, but it's still very cute.

Good to know. I never woulda guessed to alter it. I've only seen alterations available on chest pieces so far. Though I guess I do have another headband labeled "altered" so I ought to have pieced together that it's possible. Anyway, I still need to find a not blue one, so the granny slaughter will hafta continue tomorrow.

I've done it! I've caved in enough granny skulls to earn myself a cute lil floral headband! This is the best thing that's ever happened to me in this game. I'm also slowly getting closer to the Erdtree. This city could really use some road signs. Maybe some public transportation.

Hambo posted...

This city could really use some road signs. Maybe some public transportation.

That's your own fault for not beating the gargoyles, that's how you unlock the Lands Between bus route.

pegusus123456 posted...

That's your own fault for not beating the gargoyles, that's how you unlock the Lands Between bus route.

Godrick damn it! I knew they musta been guarding some sweet loot. If I'd known it was a bus pass, I woulda kept at it.

I think I'm at the base of the tree now. But then, it's so flippin big that I've been thinking that for a while now. Wherever I am, I just got diced by Margit 2: Bloody Boogaloo. Perhaps saving the summon for the second half would help. If I can get to that point without my little guys.

Aaaagghh the only times he leaves an opening to hit him, he sometimes just extends his fuckin combo. I've gotten super close like twice now.

Got his ass. Melina is a queen. Also summoning ditto helped. Dude could actually take a hit.

Now it feels like anywhere else I go has enemies that'll one shot me out of nowhere. Which is probably a good sign to go somewhere else, but before long I'm gonna run out of somewheres else.

I dunno, the game just kinda scales weird because it feels like Fromsoftware was like "Whatever, as long as it isn't too easy".

Valiant Gargoyles are fucking dead. Eat shit, assholes.

After I finally choked the life out of those goddamn gargoyles, I accidentally happened upon Deeproot. Predictably, I was immediately killed by one of the extra-jumbo giant ants. I turned the other way and managed to smash the regular giant ants long enough to reach that boss with all the summoned spirits/people. Good ol' Rogier did me in, but me and my shield squad got him back good after that. Winning the fight opened a portal to...oh, the capital city again.

I figured as long as I was back, I might as well try making a little bit of progress. It took me SO long to figure out how to exit the city to get to the forbidden lands or whatever. And that last stretch guarded by the leonines and then all those knights was longer than I prefer to go without a checkpoint. :/

Oh, it's kind of a shame that you fought Fia's Champions offline. If you're offline, they're the same ones each time. If you're online, the game pulls the loadouts from players that have hugged Fia.

Btw, you may want to double check that portal.

Ooh that's a cute gimmick. And perhaps I will double check that portal. For science.

I checked the portal again and it brought me to Leyndell again. There didn't seem to be anything sus about it other than the giant mermaid corpse there.

Also I think I let Alexander die. I didnt have anything that could make him slippery and now he's gone. That or he got out on his own. I choose to believe that. He's a smart, brave little guy, regardless of what he thinks.