Current Events > Tips on how to treat my gf's 15 year old daughter?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I have no fuckin clue what I'm doing other than just trying to be nice and stay out of any arguments, as well as make sure she's got a nice place to sleep made up at my house. I try not to let her be bored too, told her she can play any game she wants or read any comic I got or whatever

Any advice? The last man my gf was with was like a father figure to her but he abandoned her after the relationship ended despite saying he wouldn't

Just try to be cool and courteous. No need to overdo it. If you want to, you can take an interest in something she likes. Ask questions about it and gauge how enthusiastic she is about responding. Don't push if she doesn't seem talkative. If she'd rather keep things casual and distant, just go with that. Hopefully you're a decent guy and make her mom happy and she'll pick up on that. For a lot of kids that'll be enough.

GameGodOfAll posted...

Just try to be cool and courteous. No need to overdo it. If you want to, you can take an interest in something she likes. Ask questions about it and gauge how enthusiastic she is about responding. Don't push if she doesn't seem talkative. If she'd rather keep things casual and distant, just go with that. Hopefully you're a decent guy and make her mom happy and she'll pick up on that. For a lot of kids that'll be enough.

I treat her mom like a queen and she knows it. I'll take this advice though

She's sorta into anime, and I know some just by osmosis, as well as a few movies and shows I've watched. She's into the popular stuff tho like my hero academia. Idk anything bout that kinda anime lol

I would be more than glad to answer questions in depth if you're really curious

The abandonment thing is probably a huge factor in why she seems a little distant. And general shyness I guess. Her mom is shy af so she may have some of that going on

I am not shy. I'm very outgoing. And that can be kinda hard to read where lines are for me sometimes with shy people

gunplagirl posted...

I would be more than glad to answer questions in depth if you're really curious

I don't really have any particular questions. Probably because I'm wore out as fuck

Just be a good "Father Figure", but don't make any "Absolute Promises" that you can't gurantee to keep.

Only make "promises" to her that you can and will keep.

Be open, be honest, do your best to be a substitute dad.

Kamen_Rider_Blade posted...

Just be a good "Father Figure", but don't make any "Absolute Promises" that you can't gurantee to keep.

Only make "promises" to her that you can and will keep.

Be open, be honest, do your best to be a substitute dad.

I don't know if she wants that from me

no one wants a father figure who doesn't want to be a father

So far I've just been really nice and considerate of her (because I actually want to) and I've been wanting her to really get that I'm in love with her mom and I'm treating her right. and I guess I'm trying to tell her subliminally that I'll treat her right as well through that? Idk

I've made an awful lot of dad jokes that she liked. I went on a 10 minute tirade about mirror puns one time that she was pretty into

Also we played Mario golf tonight and I think she had fun

GuerrillaSoldier posted...

no one wants a father figure who doesn't want to be a father

I do

Want to be I mean lol. But only if she will let me

As someone with a teenage daughter, learn how to play guitar and fucking shred some tuneskis all day.

Smackems posted...

I don't know if she wants that from me

Did you ever ask her what she wants from you?

Other than to treat them well, (that's to be expected).

Ask for advice on reddit "two x chromosomes" sub.

Flauros posted...

As someone with a teenage daughter, learn how to play guitar and fucking shred some tuneskis all day.

Already done

Kamen_Rider_Blade posted...

Did you ever ask her what she wants from you?

Other than to treat them well, (that's to be expected).

No. That would probably be awkward

Tyranthraxus posted...

Ask for advice on reddit "two x chromosomes" sub.

I don't do reddit. This is the only "social media" I do

Tell her anime's fucking lame and she should grow out of it already.

Or you could take the namby pamby approach and naturally ask her about whatever she's watching or reading. Just try to be genuine and not come off like you're just trying to fake interest. A general open ended question like "Hey what's this show about?" feels transparent. If ya see something you'd actually want to know an answer to go for it.

Humor's good. Laughs are nice. Eye rolls and groans even better.

Would say for now though just treat her with respect and let her dictate the pace. It's all super circumstantial. Depends on the length of the relationship, the stage/seriousness of it, the personality of the kid, etc. It ain't black and white.

I'll add that she does not have a father in the picture at all. She's never known her biological father. That alongside the abandonment thing probably has her guard way up against me

I'm pretty good at the humor thing. I'm not gonna tell her anime is lame and to grow out of it though lol no. I've been letting her dictate the pace though. Guess I'll just keep doing that and letting her warm up to me

Have you tried buying her one those tiktoks? I heard kids love em.

GameGodOfAll posted...

Tell her anime's fucking lame and she should grow out of it already.

Ignore this advice, WORST advice you can do if you want to become a Good Substitute Dad.

Kamen_Rider_Blade posted...

Ignore this advice, WORST advice you can do if you want to become a Good Substitute Dad.

That part was a joke.

more or less...

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Have you tried buying her one those tiktoks? I heard kids love em.

Oh boy do they

GameGodOfAll posted...

That part was a joke.

more or less...

Like an anime fan on prom night

Start planning her sweet 16 with her

have snacks around, that's basically it

In general, I'd say that the best thing you can do is find out her hobbies and passions. Does she make anything or have talents? Encourage her without making it feel like you're pushing her. Find out what characters she is fond of and why, and try to discuss how the character had grown in their series or whatever and just let her talk herself out. Give her attention and try to include her in things by explicitly asking if she'd like to join, since you mentioned she's shy she is probably like a lot of other shy people where we don't know if we're invited or wanted unless explicitly told so.

Smackems posted...

She's sorta into anime, and I know some just by osmosis, as well as a few movies and shows I've watched. She's into the popular stuff tho like my hero academia. Idk anything bout that kinda anime lol

My Hero Academia is the current big "Shonen" franchise about Super Heroes in a High School Setting.

You're nothing more than you're GF's bf.

Relate to her like any 15 year old and answer the call to go above and beyond if it comes through. Be a good male role model and she'll see you as one. You got your own shoes and they don't need to fit anything, if she looks up to you and stuff- all the better. If she doesn't, then that's just how it is.

gunplagirl posted...

In general, I'd say that the best thing you can do is find out her hobbies and passions. Does she make anything or have talents? Encourage her without making it feel like you're pushing her. Find out what characters she is fond of and why, and try to discuss how the character had grown in their series or whatever and just let her talk herself out. Give her attention and try to include her in things by explicitly asking if she'd like to join, since you mentioned she's shy she is probably like a lot of other shy people where we don't know if we're invited or wanted unless explicitly told so.

Thank you. I'll mix this with the "only be mutually interested in something genuinely" advice ol dude gave. Thanks for that as well ol dude

Agonized_rufous posted...

You're nothing more than you're GF's bf.

Relate to her like any 15 year old and answer the call to go above and beyond if it comes through. Be a good male role model and she'll see you as one. You got your own shoes and they don't need to fit anything, if she looks up to you and stuff- all the better. If she doesn't, then that's just how it is.

Alright

Kamen_Rider_Blade posted...

My Hero Academia is the current big "Shonen" franchise about Super Heroes in a High School Setting.

Ew

I won't pretend to be interested in that. I'll just play persona 5 lol