Current Events > My least favourite phrase to hear in software development

(+) Yeah! (+)

Any iteration of "we just want this process to be as simple and as streamlined as possible."

No, no you really don't. You want this process to have lots of really unique, totally bespoke requirements. You want this process to be able to handle every unlikely exception you can think of. You want this process to do exactly what is in your brain but you can't neatly define or rationalise. You want this process to turn on a dime whenever you change your mind.

You want Apple UX and you want to pay outsourced-to-man-in-india-with-very-poor-english prices for it.

Mine is its not working

Okay, can you describe the issue

I get this error (puts up screenshot of a page with no context)

Okay, so what is the issue?

this isnt right

Right, but what is wrong about it?

Idk but fix it

samsungsalt posted...

Mine is its not working

Okay, can you describe the issue

I get this error (puts up screenshot of a page with no context)

Okay, so what is the issue?

this isnt right

Right, but what is wrong about it?

Idk but fix it

This is where you find out that the error they were getting is clearly displayed on screen and they've just been mindlessly pressing close every time. It says "your password is incorrect"

"Make it pop"

"we need this in production by January 1"

"That literally doesn't exist and it's November"

"But we already sold it to the customer"

Tyranthraxus posted...

"we need this in production by January 1"

"That literally doesn't exist and it's November"

"But we already sold it to the customer"

Its close cousin must be this one:

"That feature I only learned existed 30 seconds ago that greatly simplifies the thing I've been doing completely manually for 5 years is not good enough, it needs to be a lot better"