Current Events > Employment lingo is getting too funny now...

(+) Yeah! (+)

Was just looking at jobs online. Target calls cashiers...guest advocates ? Lol

that sounds like a lot of responsibility lol

Do corporations really think people fall for corporate speak like this?

People actually fall for corporate speak like this? >_>

God corporate newspeak is one of those things that just instantly gets under my skin.

I still remember interviewing someone for a graphic design position like 10 years ago and he had sandwich artist on his resume from working at Subway

DKBananaSlamma posted...

Do corporations really think people fall for corporate speak like this?

People actually fall for corporate speak like this? >_>

idk, the ppl i know that work those jobs prefer it bc then they dont have to tell people theyre a cashier or write it on their resumes.

lol a year or two ago my secretary changed her title to "executive administrative assistant" of her own volition and no one really gave a shit. i forget and thats a mouthful so ill slip and call her secretary (as in, im on a call with a client and say something like "yeah if you could forward that to my secretary...") and she shoots me death glares lol

DipDipDiver posted...

I still remember interviewing someone for a graphic design position like 10 years ago and he had sandwich artist on his resume from working at Subway

I don't see what the issue is with putting your actual job title with the company on a resume.

We all agree it's fucking stupid but at least it's accurate.

Oubliettes posted...

idk, the ppl i know that work those jobs prefer it bc then they dont have to tell people theyre a cashier or write it on their resumes.

lol a year or two ago my secretary changed her title to "executive administrative assistant" of her own volition and no one really gave a shit. i forget and thats a mouthful so ill slip and call her secretary (as in, im on a call with a client and say something like "yeah if you could forward that to my secretary...") and she shoots me death glares lol

This is actually a thing in the corporate world now fwiw.

Hell you can even take programs at post-secondary institutions that actually *teach* you how to be an "Administrative Assistant" and you get a Certificate for it!

My company recently changed "buyer" to "supply planner". Come on now.

Grounds keepers are just QC's!

bluezero posted...

My company recently changed "buyer" to "supply planner". Come on now.

I've been in sales for over a decade now and my titles have been:

Inside Sales Representative
Customer Service Consultant
Customer Service Specialist
Sales Specialist
Advanced Customer Representative
Sales Manager
Regional Sales Representative
Regional Consultant
Southeast Sales Specialist

They're literally the same job requirements lol

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Yeah, this one got me good. Last time I was looking for a design job I searched 'artist' on a whim, got momentarily excited when a dozen listings popped up, and then laughed bitterly when every one of them was for 'sandwich artists' at fucking Subway.

Client liaisons representative

Can't wait to have a dangerous liaison with a hot customer

"A master of the custodial arts....or a janitor if you wanna be a dick about it"

DKBananaSlamma posted...

Do corporations really think people fall for corporate speak like this?

People actually fall for corporate speak like this? >_>

Theres nothing to fall for, theres just people like you who think Target is trying to trick them into something. Antisocial behavior.

Target always has weird titles for stuff. Like the "GSTL" aka Guest Services Team Leader.

Gobstoppers12 posted...

Target always has weird titles for stuff. Like the "GSTL" aka Guest Services Team Leader.

Yeah, Whole Foods is super into the "team" dynamic. Our meetings are "team huddles". And the trainings tend to be so high on the company's farts I desperately want to believe they're parody.

Like, the recent one was harping about how our stores are important "community spaces" and I just about burst out laughing in the conference room. which is across from the team leader office.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Like, the recent one was harping about how our stores are important "community spaces" and I just about burst out laughing in the conference room. which is across from the team leader office.

My favorite thing is the weird rule they have about the word "customer."

They actually reprimanded someone for saying it too many times when I worked there. They're not customers, they're "guests," but more accurately, they're guests who spend money. If only there were a word for that...

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What does this even mean? No, really. What does this mean?

This is old news for Target, when I worked there over 5 years ago you were only allowed to call customer's guests over the radio.

LotsOfHorror posted...

This is old news for Target, when I worked there over 5 years ago you were only allowed to call customer's guests over the radio.

Same, but I worked there 14 years ago. When I was hired they were unironically showing that anti union training video that's been making the rounds recently.

I care about the title more than the money imoz. Who needs rent or food, I'm a sales executive, not just a salesman.

Executive assistant over sec

Plus some times it is a better word overall, flight attendant instead of stewardess

I'm a "Staff Natural Resources Scientist" which is suuuuuuper different than the "Natural Resources Specialist" that I was before my title update.

*dissmisve wank*

It has always been that way. In fact I dont understand any of it, and that's what makes other people have an easier time.

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.....and? Where do those two things have anything at all to do with each other? This is a little silly, bud.

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

.....and? Where do those two things have anything at all to do with each other? This is a little silly, bud.

What he is saying is, Giving someone a title should come with a bump in pay.
If you are a 'guest advocate' you are presumably the face of the store and should be paid more than minimum wage...or virtually Minimum wage, which are about the same thing.
~Not to mention, Guest Advocate really doesn't make any sense. But that's another issue.

Anyway, let us not forget when Walmart had Heroes...some who even wore capes.

cash app and square support staff members are called customer success advocates

Willing to bet any kind of lingo pedantry that companies do is because of some legal or statistical loophole that they can then claim.

I was a sandwich artist once. No regrets. Kept it on my resume through law school and now have a cushy job. It wasn't a hindrance.

Grocery store baggers being called courtesy clerks has always been an eye roller for me

Facilities management technician

BlueBoy675 posted...

Grocery store baggers being called courtesy clerks has always been an eye roller for me

You hardly see this anymore. I usually only see it as a job for an adult with a disability. By see I mean witness/observe. And even then it's rare.

"As long as he's not comfortable anything will do"

It makes it easier for companies to give workers more crap to do with the ambiguous titles. You can have a cashier stock shelves or clean up messes if you give them a job title that doesn't mean anything

Oubliettes posted...

idk, the ppl i know that work those jobs prefer it bc then they dont have to tell people theyre a cashier or write it on their resumes.

lol a year or two ago my secretary changed her title to "executive administrative assistant" of her own volition and no one really gave a shit. i forget and thats a mouthful so ill slip and call her secretary (as in, im on a call with a client and say something like "yeah if you could forward that to my secretary...") and she shoots me death glares lol

i too was once an executive administrative assistant

Didn't some clothing stores call their regular employees "models" so they could discriminate based on appearance

Octans posted...

Willing to bet any kind of lingo pedantry that companies do is because of some legal or statistical loophole that they can then claim.

My mom's school did that with janitors because old janitors got benefits. The new "custodial technicians" or something do not.

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Yeah, when I worked up in a front end (as a "cashier assistant" LOL) that was one of my duties. Of course, my primary duty was collecting baskets and shopping carts, and I was also responsible for stocking the bags, and I was generally by myself for most of my shift, so on busy days I would spend like half my shift getting carts out in the parking lot and the other half frantically trying to make sure the cash registers actually had bags. I generally only spent significant time bagging if it was slow i.e. when I had nothing better to do than hang out with the cashiers.

My Whole Foods also provides complimentary ice, which is just the Seafood Department's non-potable ice shoveled into specially-acquired produce bags, and of course that was also my responsibility. During the summer, this was a major time sink (on a busy day we could easily go through over a hundred of these makeshift bags, and the cooler can only hold about 20-25 at a time), and, of course, customers treated the ice as their God-given right despite our store being the only grocery store that does it (not even other Whole Foods are this stupid).