Current Events > Should i tell my GF that i go for a coffee with female friends sometimes?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Been on a 3-year relationship with this girl and everything has been great so far. We are both kind of social so we got a fair share of friends on each of our sides and we are both very communicative as well and that has been a key aspect in our relationship

I work at an University (Not teaching tho) and due to some reasons i have made quite a few female friends/acquaintances in these years, mostly between the age of 20 and 22 (Im 29, my girl's 23) and there are sometimes when i come across one of them on campus and we usually grab a coffee and have a quick 15-20 minute talk.

All the girls i know are aware i got a girl (some of them even got a guy) and we treat each other as normal friends, but the thing is i have never told my girl that i usually grab coffee with a girl or 2 that i know in here sometimes (She is aware i got plenty of female friends here and she is ok with that, but I have never told her i do the coffee/drink thing)

Should i be upfront with her or just stay silent on this one? Im perfectly fine with her, the thing about having plenty of female friends is mostly because i was a late Bloomer (I only started having good luck with women when i hit the age of 25) and its kind of cool to have quite a few female friends while you also got a girl, i gotta admit.

Im just not sure whether to tell her about this or not. There is nothing wrong but she may get upset that i never told her about this if she evers finds out by herself.

SlamVook posted...

Im just not sure whether to tell her about this or not. There is nothing wrong but she may get upset that i never told her about this if she evers finds out by herself.

just answered your own question chief

Don't tell her. She will respond by going to get coffee with chads and get some cream.

Dakimakura posted...

Don't tell her. She will respond by going to get coffee with chads and get some cream.

she likes her coffee black

so weird TC, idk what to do. ive never done that, why'd u get yourself into this situation?

for future reference: just be honest lol

Hmm Id say no, but really make sure she doesn't find out

don't say anything. if she finds out it's easy enough to explain it truthfully. if you tell her for no reason it'll probably seem suspicious

You could middle-ground it. Something like...

"Hey, I ran into such-and-such the other day, and she invited me to have a coffee and chat with her in the cafeteria. I didn't know if you'd be okay with that. How do you feel about that?"

Don't treat it like a confession or an apology, just be forward and casual. If she says she's not okay with it, just stop doing it. No harm done. It's probably not going to be a problem unless she 1.) Catches you in the act or hears about it later (on the condition that she isn't cool with it), or 2.) says she's not okay with it, and you keep doing it anyway.

Would you want her to tell you if she was grabbing coffee with other guys?

If yes, tell her
If you dont mind, keep it to yourself

if shes not okay that's a red flag and you have to have logical conversation until she understands that people can and do have opposite gendered friends.

it's coffee, at work.

it's not a weekend ski cabin casual friend trip.

Robot2600 posted...

if shes not okay that's a red flag and you have to have logical conversation until she understands that people can and do have opposite gendered friends.

There are certain frameworks that some people might view as "more serious" than others. This is exactly why you should ask about it ahead of time. Some people might not care, because "it's coffee, at work," and other people might view "getting coffee together" as being too much like a date.

People don't all think the same. It's folly to assume that everyone has the same standards and boundaries as you do. This is why communication is important in a relationship. Don't keep things secret; if you have a suspicion that something might not be okay, such to the point that you make a topic about it on gamefaqs.gamespot.com's Current Events board, you should probably clear it with the girlfriend before anything else happens.

Just say theyre friends

The fuck?

Robot2600 posted...

it's coffee, at work.

it's not a weekend ski cabin casual friend trip.