Current Events > My mother just laughed at me after I had a panic attack.

(+) Yeah! (+)

She laughed and said "You say 'I'm sorry' too much". -_-

so you laughed at her hen she had a heart attack?

Did she realize you had a panic attack?

No one ever knew when I had panic attacks im front of them

Kimbos_Egg posted...

so you laughed at her hen she had a heart attack?

That's just mean-spirited.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Did she realize you had a panic attack?

No one ever knew when I had panic attacks im front of them

She's witnessed them before and has always responded to them as if I'm annoying her. I remember a few years back I had a particularly bad one and she ended up literally shooing me out of the way so she could get a wine glass from a cabinet I was in front of.

To be fair obstructing a cabinet is kind of annoying to some people isn't it?

CRON posted...

She's witnessed them before and has always responded to them as if I'm annoying her. I remember a few years back I had a particularly bad one and she ended up literally shooing me out of the way so she could get a wine glass from a cabinet I was in front of.

I feel like they're not as obvious to her as you're perceiving them to be. Because they're so intense to you that it's hard to believe someone else wouldn't notice them. But most people see people acting strange and just go "hmm.... odd" in their head and then go back to whatever they were thinking about before. We're very self absorbed creatures for the most part.

Are you sure that's not what's happening? I noticed you said "witnessed" instead of something like "known about".

Also, if this is not a good time for you to talk about this, that makes sense.

CRON posted...

She's witnessed them before and has always responded to them as if I'm annoying her. I remember a few years back I had a particularly bad one and she ended up literally shooing me out of the way so she could get a wine glass from a cabinet I was in front of.

Sounds like she's sick of your shit.

Did you apologize for apologizing so much?

Am I missing something? Why you guys being so rude to someone who just had a panic attack >_>

Lost_All_Senses posted...

I feel like they're not as obvious to her as you're perceiving them to be. Because they're so intense to you that it's hard to believe someone else wouldn't notice them. But most people see people acting strange and just go "hmm.... odd" in their head and then go back to whatever they were thinking about before. We're very self absorbed creatures for the most part.

Are you sure that's not what's happening? I noticed you said "witnessed" instead of something like "known about".

Also, if this is not a good time for you to talk about this, that makes sense.

I hate admitting this as it makes me sound pathetic, but they're fairly obvious. I stutter, my breathing gets faster and heavier, and my voice becomes pathetically whiny. I'm well aware that it's just my brain being weird and I can move on relatively quick, but it takes all the energy out of me and I get depressed for coming off as so weak, pathetic and not in control. I was having a relatively decent few days, but this ruined it.

She's made some hurtful comments in the past, like "cut the shit". My ex would do the same thing. I remember having a panic attack after almost getting into a car accident and she kept rolling her eyes saying "this is so fucking stupid". It makes me feel even worse. I can't afford therapy, I'm uninsured, and I've tried to apply for Medicaid multiple times but the process in my state is a major pain in the ass and never seems to work out.

thronedfire2 posted...

Did you apologize for apologizing so much?

I do, and I'm ashamed of it, as it makes me look weak.

I think the nicest way I can say this is... your mother isn't very nice if she's treating you like that while you're having a panic attack.

Panic attacks are no laughing matter, she needs to understand the severity of them.

CRON posted...

I hate admitting this as it makes me sound pathetic, but they're fairly obvious. I stutter, my breathing gets faster and heavier, and my voice becomes pathetically whiny. I'm well aware that it's just my brain being weird and I can move on relatively quick, but it takes all the energy out of me and I get depressed for coming off as so weak, pathetic and not in control. I was having a relatively decent few days, but this ruined it.

She's made some hurtful comments in the past, like "cut the shit". My ex would do the same thing. I remember having a panic attack after almost getting into a car accident and she kept rolling her eyes saying "this is so fucking stupid". It makes me feel even worse.

I do, and I'm ashamed of it, as it makes me look weak.

This doesn't take any sympathy I have away from your situation. But, until you tell others exactly what's happening in those moments, I can't really blame them for not guessing you're having a panic attack.

If some type of anxiety is also stopping you from telling them then that's quite the conundrum. I don't believe villainizing others over not reading the situation correct is gonna help your mental state either tho.

If someone didn't tell me they were having a panic attack, I might think they were just fuckin with me. Or, I might be able to identify it just from being so swlf aware of my own in the past. But not everyone is gonna be self aware.

Sorry you're going through this and this might not be the right time to defend the people you feel are working against you, but I also would feel like Im enabling what might be misunderstandings to just blindly jump to your side.

None of this is your fault, but if anything I say seems worth a think over, maybe apply it and see if you're reading the situation wrong.

Actually yeah, if you haven't outright told your mother you're having a panic attack, there's a chance she just may not know. Not everyone is trained to know what those look like.

...And these panic attacks? They aren't your fault. You're not weak for having them.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

This doesn't take any sympathy I have away from your situation. But, until you tell others exactly what's happening in those moments, I can't really blame them for not guessing you're having a panic attack.

If some type of anxiety is also stopping you from telling them then that's quite the conundrum. I don't believe villainizing others over not reading the situation correct is gonna help your mental state either tho.

If someone didn't tell me they were having a panic attack, I might think they were just fuckin with me. Or, I might be able to identify it just from being so swlf aware of my own in the past. But not everyone is gonna be self aware.

Sorry you're going through this and this might not be the right time to defend the people you feel are working against you, but I also would feel like Im enabling what might be misunderstandings to just blindly jump to your side.

None of this is your fault, but if anything I say seems worth a think over, maybe apply it and see if you're reading the situation wrong.

I've very carefully and calmly explained how I feel and what my anxieties and fears focus on, multiple times. I've done this in calm situations where I wasn't feeling anxious, but just wanted to explain it. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells when talking about it objectively and rationally, because when I use terms that (at least I) associate with emotions, my mother will usually roll her eyes.

My mother usually doesn't say anything and it feels like I'm talking to a concrete wall. The only advice she's ever given me was a semi-joking "you need to meditate and do yoga". I vividly remember being in the 6th grade and having an admittedly over-the-top rant about how I felt like I'd never go to college and amount to anything, and she didn't say a single word in response.

As for my ex, she was unfortunately very mentally ill, so I can't necessarily blame her for behaving the way she does, as her particular diagnoses aren't congruent with empathy and sympathy.

Umbreon posted...

...And these panic attacks? They aren't your fault. You're not weak for having them.

True. I didn't cover that part.

I like to think of myself as a relatively confident and put together person and I was getting them at such random fuckin times. There was a phase where Id be standing by my door to walk out to the car to do an activity I enjoy with friends I should be comfortable around and Id be trying to calm myself down while feeling a panic attack coming. Then Id just get in the car and try to engage as little as possible while trylng to think my way out of it. Not a fun time. But Id get over it and enjoy the activity.

Mice

CRON posted...

I've very carefully and calmly explained how I feel and what my anxieties and fears focus on, multiple times. I've done this in calm situations where I wasn't feeling anxious, but just wanted to explain it. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells when talking about it objectively and rationally, because when I use terms that (at least I) associate with emotions, my mother will usually roll her eyes.

My mother usually doesn't say anything and it feels like I'm talking to a concrete wall. The only advice she's ever given me was a semi-joking "you need to meditate and do yoga". I vividly remember being in the 6th grade and having an admittedly over-the-top rant about how I felt like I'd never go to college and amount to anything, and she didn't say a single word in response.

As for my ex, she was unfortunately very mentally ill, so I can't necessarily blame her for behaving the way she does, as her particular diagnoses aren't congruent with empathy and sympathy.

Damn. Seems like your mom really doesn't get it. At this point, it's not the answer you'll wanna hear, but you gotta lower your expectations from her and realize she's probably not gonna change any time soon. Gotta accept she won't get it and not expect her too. I remember you saying she was depressed too in another topic, I believe. She doesn't seem equipped to be your support

I still remember my great-grandma laughing at me when I was like 7 or 8 and a bee stung me

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Damn. Seems like your mom really doesn't get it. At this point, it's not the answer you'll wanna hear, but you gotta lower your expectations from her and realize she's probably not gonna change any time soon. Gotta accept she won't get it and not expect her too. I remember you saying she was depressed too in another topic, I believe. She doesn't seem equipped to be your support

She isn't. I feel bad about excessively talking negatively about her, but I just never felt like I really belonged in the family. It always felt like I was just kind of floating around in the periphery of everyone. There was always some kind of drama going on while I was more or less ignored, at least as far as emotional acknowledgment.

Unfortunately I have no support. I don't have any friends and at this point don't feel like I want any due to past bullying and trust issues. My last relationship destroyed my confidence and I'd be too embarrassed to be someone's friend, as they'd eventually become aware of my issues and lack of having amounted to anything. My only other living relative is a sibling of mine who has been unimaginably cruel and evil to me, throughout my entire life.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

What? Dude's mother mocks him, shoos him away, and flat face ignores his explanations of his issues.

That's the definition of being done with someone's shit.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Those two things aren't mutually exclusive. Only one of them is fun to say.

If she ever had one, she would not be laughing.

omega cookie posted...

Sounds like she's sick of your shit.

The rest of the world is sick of yours.

I have been reading the posts impartially and when you see them all together including TC's, it looks as though L_A_S posts are the most insightful.

CRON posted...

She's witnessed them before and has always responded to them as if I'm annoying her. I remember a few years back I had a particularly bad one and she ended up literally shooing me out of the way so she could get a wine glass from a cabinet I was in front of.

so your life is basically rick and morty without the sci fi?