Current Events > When an old friend suggests meeting up, but they are just bullshitting

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When someone is making small talk with you, usually someone you haven't seen in years, and they bring up the possibility of meeting up again. But it's not genuine, it's just them trying to be friendly.

I went to a wedding over the weekend, and ran into these two brothers I used to know from high school. We were pretty good acquaintances but never really friends. We were basically friends by obligation because we were on the same sports team. Anyway, the three of us start making small talk, discussing our updates in life, and then the two brothers say "we definitely need to meet up, it's long overdue". My stupid ass agreed and got fed right into it.

One or two of you (out of the 10+ people reading this topic) might be thinking "maybe they were being genuine", but that is definitely not the case. We didn't exchange any contact information. Don't you think we would have done that? Anyway, while this annoys me, I don't blame the two brothers for doing this, it's just a friendly gesture when you're making small talk with someone you haven't seen in years. But I think the three of us know that we don't want to meet up with each other.

But the reason these bullshit invites really annoy me is because there are situations where I actually do want to meet up, but I can never tell if the other person is being genuine or not. So I have to play the guessing game and just assume one way or the other. This is why I wish these bullshit invites were not a normal conversation starter, because someone who is socially awkward may not be able to tell the difference.

There's an episode of The Office that makes fun this. Michael Scott is talking to some woman who is from out of town, and the woman half-heartedly invites Michael to her hometown. Little does she know, he already booked plane tickets to see her, and she was basically thinking "aw fuck". The woman was just being friendly and not really inviting him over, but Michael Scott didn't catch that social cue and assumed he was really being invited. I'm not a religious watcher of the show, so I don't remember who the character was or what episode this was, so someone can correct me if I'm wrong.

With that said, have you ever been fake invited to something? Were you able to tell it was just a bullshit invite?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I actually agree with this. All it takes is asking someone "do you want to do X activity on X day". Have a time, date and location, and see if that works.

i should mention, there have been times where me and someone else try to plan something out, but later on i think "were they legit, or was that bullshit talk?" then i have to play the guessing game. i hate having to do that shit.

Yes, the fraudulent planning. When you both know damn well you aren't going to hang out...

"Hey, we should get dinner some time!"

"Of course! Hit me up later and we'll work out the details. "

Narrator: They never worked out the details.

whoever brings up the "we should meet up it's long overdue" is the one who decides whether or not it's genuine, regardless of if you say "for sure!" or not (though who doesn't say "for sure" in something like that - what kind of monster says no - but that's a digression)

regardless of how enthusiastic the recipient is, it's still up to the party that brings up the notion of meeting up to then follow up.

so you're clear. if they don't follow up ever then it wasn't genuine. if they do, then it was genuine. either way, you've done nothing wrong and you played your social role to perfection in that situation.