Current Events > C/D: You've never had any friends in real life.

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I'm aware this is pot-and-kettle territory but things won't get better if you make the same topic over and over again.

CRON posted...

I'm aware this is pot-and-kettle territory but things won't get better if you make the same topic over and over again.

They aren't going to get any better if I DON'T make them, and if I don't make them, I don't even have a shred of a chance of getting any attention.

So, i'm better off making them.

I have too many friends and I cant hang out with all of them enough

DespondentDeity posted...

I have too many friends and I cant hang out with all of them enough

Brag post

I don't think you're a bad person TC, but I'm very close to putting you on ignore.

You have like half a dozen active topics of this "woe is me, my life sucks" bullshit.

Either do something about your life or shut the fuck up.

a-c-a-b posted...

I don't think you're a bad person TC, but I'm very close to putting you on ignore.

You have like half a dozen active topics of this "woe is me, my life sucks" bullshit.

Either do something about your life or shut the fuck up.

Do it. I'm not going to stop.

I got a few friends. But we been growing apart. Imma put away all my distractions and rebuild them this summer.

Get some help already

GrandConjuraton posted...

Do it. I'm not going to stop.

But why do you make them?

Have you tried going outside and developing a personality?

Even Canti did. Youre gonna let Canti out society you?

Llaeto7 posted...

But why do you make them?

They probably don't have anyone to listen to them, and want to vent.

Waaah

Llaeto7 posted...

But why do you make them?

Because I need the attention i'm not getting anywhere else? I don't have constructive outlets of getting attention, and if it means I have to do what i've been doing to get even a little, I have to keep doing it. I'm desperate.

Ozarhok posted...

Get some help already

Been in therapy for five years, have seen three different therapists. Have been on a variety of different antidepressants across those years, too.

D.

Flauros posted...

Have you tried going outside and developing a personality?

Even Canti did. Youre gonna let Canti out society you?

Who is canti?

Also, I have a personality. A lot of people don't like it, but I do have one.

Could you give us something more exciting than merely the opportunity to type one of two letters at least.
How about a joke, maybe a veiled threat or perhaps a writing prompt? I for one would appreciate if these topics also contained reminiscences of when TF2 was good.

Never? How does that even happen unless you've had a tragic upgringing.

D, I've always been pretty popular but as I get older I feel I don't want that anymore (not that I wanted it in the first place, it just happened), I'm content to just be with my SO or family

ViewtifulJoe posted...

Could you give us something more exciting than merely the opportunity to type one of two letters at least.
How about a joke, maybe a veiled threat or perhaps a writing prompt? I for one would appreciate if these topics also contained reminiscences of when TF2 was good.

A veiled threat? x.x

My humor is more situational... also, none of those makes opportunities to potentially garner me any attention on a personal level, unfortunately.

C, but I like it that way. I am a very independent person, I enjoy everything more alone. Only people I care what they think about me and/or having a relationship with them is chicks that I find attractive. Once I can get one of those I'll be in business.

I've had friends but they were just casual friends, not life long friendship sort of deals. I don't easily connect with people. Hell, I was 41 before I actually fell in love and 4 short years later that is ending. But I'm ok being alone. I don't need friends.

Moving to a new city every few years probably had something to do with my connection issues. I'd probably resent my parents for that if it were something that actually caused me distress. But it definitely helps me move on quickly. Like when my GF asked me to move out, I was absolutely devastated. It's been 2.5 weeks now and I think I'm just about over it. I don't think I'll allow someone to get that close to me again though. Because that shit hurt more than I think I could deal with again.

faizan_faizan posted...

Never? How does that even happen unless you've had a tragic upgringing.

A combination of factors, in my case.

1. A very sheltered upbringing. My parents never let me be social when I was younger (and actually had the chance); they themselves are very asocial, and so they never saw a need to actually let me do things like go to other people's houses or parties. Eventually, people lost interest and stopped asking me to do things with them. I spent all of my time in my house while I wasn't at school.
2. A very poor upbringing. Being sheltered was all the worse because I spent a lot of time living in fear of my father, who had severe anger issues and liked to take them out on us.
3. Being the victim of a lot of bullying while I was younger. I was so offputting that pretty much everyone hated me, with the majority of people joining in... even teachers. I actually had one teacher who would go get another teacher during the middle of class to come mock me in front of the class, if that tells you anything.
4. Personal ignorance. Looking back, I see a FEW opportunities where things could have potentially changed for the better, but I had my head so far up my ass that I squandered them. I lived in a delusion that people DIDN'T hate me and that I actually had a chance, and so I shunned people who weren't viewed favorably and actually made some sort of effort to be around me.
5. Being too different from other people. I live in an extremely rural area, and bigotry/racism runs rampant here. I never felt like I had the freedom to even attempt to be myself, and a lot of people just weren't that pleasant themselves... that's not even counting that I fell to far from the norm in other ways, too, like having next to no discernible interests that lined up with other people.
6. Depression and social anxiety having complete control of my life during my final school years. After going through everything else in my life, I just completely gave up during my junior/senior high school years and made almost no attempts to associate with people or make friends. I knew it was a lost cause.

@faizan_faizan

GrandConjuraton posted...

A combination of factors, in my case.

1. A very sheltered upbringing. My parents never let me be social when I was younger (and actually had the chance); they themselves are very asocial, and so they never saw a need to actually let me do things like go to other people's houses or parties. Eventually, people lost interest and stopped asking me to do things with them. I spent all of my time in my house while I wasn't at school.
2. A very poor upbringing. Being sheltered was all the worse because I spent a lot of time living in fear of my father, who had severe anger issues and liked to take them out on us.
3. Being the victim of a lot of bullying while I was younger. I was so offputting that pretty much everyone hated me, with the majority of people joining in... even teachers. I actually had one teacher who would go get another teacher during the middle of class to come mock me in front of the class, if that tells you anything.
4. Personal ignorance. Looking back, I see a FEW opportunities where things could have potentially changed for the better, but I had my head so far up my ass that I squandered them. I lived in a delusion that people DIDN'T hate me and that I actually had a chance, and so I shunned people who weren't viewed favorably and actually made some sort of effort to be around me.
5. Being too different from other people. I live in an extremely rural area, and bigotry/racism runs rampant here. I never felt like I had the freedom to even attempt to be myself, and a lot of people just weren't that pleasant themselves... that's not even counting that I fell to far from the norm in other ways, too, like having next to no discernible interests that lined up with other people.
6. Depression and social anxiety having complete control of my life during my final school years. After going through everything else in my life, I just completely gave up during my junior/senior high school years and made almost no attempts to associate with people or make friends. I knew it was a lost cause.
@faizan_faizan

Ah, so tragic upbringing.

This is why it was so much better growing up in the 90s. You had to physically interact with people and making friends was inevitable.

bullying is hugely detrimental. no doubt about it. if you were never able to learn how to fight back, then you just had to take it and now you feel worthless.

you've made topics about your parents bullying you, too. that has to suck.

berlyman101 posted...

you've made topics about your parents bullying you, too. that has to suck.

It was mostly my father (with the anger issues and the extreme anti-LGBT attitude, with death threats and disownment), but my mom was complicit in the sense that she allowed it to happen. She was the victim of his anger, too, but... without her giving me anything to contradict his beliefs, I could only feel that she agreed with him.

My family situation is worlds better than it was while growing up, but the damage has already been done.

GrandConjuraton posted...

It was mostly my father (with the anger issues and the extreme anti-LGBT attitude, with death threats and disownment), but my mom was complicit in the sense that she allowed it to happen. She was the victim of his anger, too, but... without her giving me anything to contradict his beliefs, I could only feel that she agreed with him.

My family situation is worlds better than it was while growing up, but the damage has already been done.

Op have you tried strength training?

faizan_faizan posted...

Op have you tried strength training?

For what reason?

B18Champ posted...

This is why it was so much better growing up in the 90s. You had to physically interact with people and making friends was inevitable.

God it must have been cool to be an adult in those times, I'll always envy them

GrandConjuraton posted...

For what reason?

For a multitude of reasons. It can benefit you in more ways than you think. If you're not already doing it.

faizan_faizan posted...

For a multitude of reasons. It can benefit you in more ways than you think. If you're not already doing it.

I don't exercise, let alone do any strength training, >.< . I can barely do things I give half of a care about (like gaming), so things I don't really have any interest in are a no-starter...

I had friends, but I'm not sure they were actually ever my friends in reality.

Any form of exercise can help your physical and mental health. We eat calories, to convert into energy to burn. When you eat and do nothing all the time, it drags you down, makes you feel sluggish, and is in no way helping you. Even a treadmill or exercise bike, something you can do from home, alone, private.

You mention therapy a lot but have you tried exercising and getting healthier as an option?

I try to be friends with people online and here etc, but it never works out for me.

MabusIncarnate posted...

Any form of exercise can help your physical and mental health. We eat calories, to convert into energy to burn. When you eat and do nothing all the time, it drags you down, makes you feel sluggish, and is in no way helping you. Even a treadmill or exercise bike, something you can do from home, alone, private.

You mention therapy a lot but have you tried exercising and getting healthier as an option?

I will say that I HAVE exercised in the past. From when I was 14-16 years old (spread across the summers in those three years), I lost over sixty pounds from exercise. When I was recovering from shoulder breakage and dislocation (which was one of the most traumatic things that happened to me, because of the circumstances), I had to do stuff at the gym for physical therapy... I hated all of it, >.< . Even just a few years ago i've had some exercising in the form of an exercise bike, and I hated that too.

I just don't get anything out of physical activity.

Honestly, yeah... it's kinda sad tbh

I have pretty much zero connection with my contemporaries which sucks bc there is so much shit I want to do but can't count on anyone for help

Bump

every time i've had a 'best friend' that wasn't someone i was a relationship with, they ended up somehow betraying me or destroying the friendship over some stupid reason

most friends i've had that weren't also somehow related to work have just been terrible to keep in touch with, too.

DespondentDeity posted...

I have too many friends and I cant hang out with all of them enough

Yeah, this. It actually is a problem as I get stretched thin.

It's not hard to make friends. Just be a cool dude. Meet people.

Pepys Monster posted...

It's not hard to make friends.

Notsureifsrs

GrandConjuraton posted...

Notsureifsrs

What's the hard part? I'm sure I can help.