Current Events > can someone explain to me the appeal of having a close relationship with parents

(+) Yeah! (+)

they're just manipulative people that abused and lied to you your entire life and don't actually care about you

Yep. Every single parent in the world is like that. No one can possibly have a stable healthy relationship with them. You nailed it. This topic can end now.

Nah, my mom's cool as hell. Once I got older our relationship kind of pivoted from parent and child to genuine friends. I play games online with her and everything.

I used to be kinda distant with them, then I worked in a nursing home and saw so many depressed 50-60 yr old sons and daughters with so much obvious regret watching their parents fade away, that I decided to treasure them a lot more and actively see them often

A lot of parents aren't like that

and if you're cold, even one's who are might still leave you money

Cuz mine didnt suck.

Valjackal posted...

Yep. Every single parent in the world is like that. No one can possible have a stable healthy relationship with them. You nailed it. This topic can end now.

Imagine having a healthy homelife growing up and getting mad at others who didn't have the privilege

Oh wait I can't imagine that because I developed some empathy while growing up as a result of my homelife growing up

UnfairRepresent posted...

A lot of parents aren't like that

and if you're cold, even one's who are might still leave you money

my dad has already informed me that he has cut me out of his will

my mom still has me in hers, but all she has is the family home, about 1m but i have to split that with my sister

gunplagirl posted...

Imagine having a healthy homelife growing up and getting mad at others who didn't have the privilege

Oh wait I can't imagine that because I developed some empathy while growing up as a result of my homelife growing up

he didn't seem mad or unempathetic

No_U_L7 posted...

my dad has already informed me that he has cut me out of his will

my mom still has me in hers, but all she has is the family home, about 1m but i have to split that with my sister

I don't even know you but I would probably cut you out of my will too.

Valjackal posted...

Yep. Every single parent in the world is like that. No one can possibly have a stable healthy relationship with them. You nailed it. This topic can end now.

This. Except I don't play games with her and every once and again she'll try using she's my mom card to get over on me (in all fairness when she does that I am fucking up at something) but I generally put my foot down and remind her I pay the bills so imma do what I want

Starting to see why TC comes to this websight to act like his life is the best thing in the world. Just another classic case of using this place as a coping mechanism.

Enjoy it while you can op. They will be gone one day.

Same reason to be close to anyone in your life. Boring to be alone.

BilalPowell posted...

Same reason to be close to anyone in your life. Boring to be alone.

It ain't boring. It's depressing. And that's coming from a introvert.

No_U_L7 posted...

they're just manipulative people that abused and lied to you your entire life and don't actually care about you

If that's the case, they could've put you up for adoption or let social services deal with you.

rideshort posted...

If that's the case, they could've put you up for adoption or let social services deal with you.

they don't care about me as an individual, they view me as an extension of themselves

I think this is the only real topic TC has ever made

i have a close relationship with OP's mom

No_U_L7 posted...

they don't care about me as an individual, they view me as an extension of themselves

does anyone care about you if your parents dont?

As someone without parents, (even when they were alive, they werent great) it sure would be nice to have people who loved me unconditionally and supported me. Having parents to bounce ideas off of or ask for advice is also something Ive always wanted

BilalPowell posted...

does anyone care about you if your parents dont?

probably my sister and friends

Harpie posted...

As someone without parents, (even when they were alive, they werent great) it sure would be nice to have people who loved me unconditionally and supported me. Having parents to bounce ideas off of or ask for advice is also something Ive always wanted

that's not what parents do at all tho lol

Harpie posted...

As someone without parents, it sure would be nice to have people who loved me unconditionally and supported me. Having parents to bounce ideas off of or ask for advice is also something Ive always wanted

@Harpie
If you would be okay with it then I will your mommy from now on

Cause it's the right thing to do

gunplagirl posted...

Imagine having a healthy homelife growing up and getting mad at others who didn't have the privilege

Oh wait I can't imagine that because I developed some empathy while growing up as a result of my homelife growing up

But the topic was disingenuous to begin with. I can empathize with people but this was NOT the way to do it. It doesn't help that I am a father, and I would never manipulate, abuse or lie to my daughters, so I do not appreciate the blanket statement.

What_ posted...

I think this is the only real topic TC has ever made

oof

No_U_L7 posted...

that's not what parents do at all tho lol

My parents didnt do any of those things either, but there are some that actually care. My ex had the most loving, supportive parents Ive ever seen. Seeing him and his mom interact would sometimes make it hard to keep the tears at bay. It was such a sweet, loving and warm relationship. I didnt know until then that I wanted something like that so badly.

gunplagirl posted...

@Harpie
If you would be okay with it then I will your mommy from now on

Whats in it for you qt

My parents came over today and bought me some furniture for my new home. They're doing a great job acting like they care.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Every damn time. "They beat sense into me that's why I know I'm a good parent to my kids who are all half siblings and also my current bf cheats on me just like dad cheated on mom!"

bsp77 posted...

But the topic was disingenuous to begin with. I can empathize with people but this was NOT the way to do it. It doesn't help that I am a father, and I would never manipulate, abuse or lie to my daughters, so I do not appreciate the blanket statement.

I sure hope so but most parents who abused their kids don't think they did anything wrong. So please be sure to constantly analyze your parenting. Not that I doubt you mean it when you say your intentions.

Harpie posted...

Whats in it for you qt

I would have a qt daughter without the costs or hassle of adoption

gunplagirl posted...

I sure hope so but most parents who abused their kids don't think they did anything wrong. So please be sure to constantly analyze your parenting. Not that I doubt you mean it when you say your intentions.

Yeah, I am aware. And when I make a mistake, I apologize to them after. But my mistakes are typically along the lines of not listening properly or making a poor assumption, not abuse or manipulation.

I'm adopted, so I don't really know how this even works. I never bonded with either parent. I fought with my mother a lot when I was younger. We rarely agreed on anything and trust was always limited on my end. Things have improved but only distance has allowed that. I stayed with her at the beginning of covid and that was rough, and then again last year when my apartment was being renovated and that was also rough. My father on the other hand, I have not spoken to in several years. He was very toxic and a prime example of how mental illness can be transmitted through trauma even with no genetic connection. A part of me wants to reach out, forgive him and move on... but at the same time, I have no faith that he could actually understand the magnitude of what he has done and learn from it. Trust is limited with my mother. It doesn't exist with my father, and I have no cause to believe it ever could. That's just the tip pf the iceberg too lol.

bsp77 posted...

Yeah, I am aware. And when I make a mistake, I apologize to them after. But my mistakes are typically along the lines of not listening properly or making a poor assumption, not abuse or manipulation.

That's more than most parents, unfortunately.

My parents have helped me out with a lot of stuff even when I've been an adult and I visit them at least once a week (since we live in the same city). Only thing I find disagreeable with them is that they've both become fully indoctrinated Redhats. So, I try to avoid the topic of politics and let the stupid shit they say roll off like water off a duck's back because I believe blood runs thicker than the kool-aid.

gunplagirl posted...

That's more than most parents, unfortunately.

That makes me sad. Unhappy children really gets to me.